I never fully understood the point of having more questions than answers. Then again, my answers are not always that which lead me to peace. My head means well when it provides an answer, but often I am left with little room to breathe and be in that answer. Growing up it seemed as though everyone around me had mastered some sort of handle on life that I missed. Perhaps the book I got was missing pages. I have come to realize that I was following a playbook that was given to me and instead of asking for directions on how to read it, I made up my own. This is not a bad idea but lived in the extreme leads to a sense of futility and being a victim. I seemed to keep getting it wrong and after a time I didn’t think I could ask questions. I told myself they were stupid questions and I should just know. But I forgot to ask myself the most fundamental question, “how would I possibly know something I have never experienced before?” It isn’t even logical. I didn’t realize that the people who gave me the play book for life simply passed down what was given to them and probably didn’t ask many questions either. There is nothing like brushing up against the reality of darkness to wake you up to the need to switch things up. This path of being awake led me to people and places that questioned all kinds of things. One of the most resounding ideas I have learned following my current play book is to allow for all things to be questioned. They may change my ideas about myself or life or stay the same, but it is about coming to my own sense of peace around whatever it is. At the end of the day, it is me and God. No one else is going to be able to play out my life. Accepting the wonder and mystery that comes from being able to question all things, even whether it is the right time to question something, leads to life that is livable and breathable. Sometimes the simplest question I can ask God is, “What do you think is possible here?”
Be From Questioning!
on December 17, 2016My prayer for us is the courage to see questioning throughout our lives as not a sign of weakness but the strength to be in the moment of wonder and mystery where God is.
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