dailydatewithgod

One of my favorite songs from the Disney movie, Mulan, is “Reflection.”  The young Mulan wonders if and when she will be able to allow who her heart knows her to be reflected on the outside.  Our hearts are constantly reflecting within us the truth of who we are.  We get fooled because we look in a mirror through the eyes of our mind and think what we see must be what is most important.  Sometimes we reach a point in our lives when the contrast is so great, we are no longer looking at what is reflecting in a mirror.  I know I reached that point when I was in the darkest spaces of my addiction years ago.  I never stopped to look at my eyes that were reflecting in the mirror back at me , let alone sit with how incongruous my being felt to my heart.  Honestly, I did not have to see the reflection, I knew it in my bones.  But I did not know how to get back into alignment with my heart.  It was the reaching over 300 pounds, the addiction to sugar, and the discomfort in and self-hatred of my own body that led me to seek a different path.  Yet if my heart and spirit were not broken, I may have been able to continue on for a little while.  Perhaps until my body gave out completely.  I believe it was the light of life flickering in my heart telling me that what I was reflecting on the outside to the world did not match.  It was the still quiet hushed voice of God knocking at the door of my heart with each breath and each beat.  When I could no longer look away from the image being reflected back at me, I stopped and dared to listen.  I am grateful for the constant beating of my heart, not only because it keeps my body alive but because it is a constant reminder.  Breath by breath, moment by moment, keep checking to make sure what I am reflecting to the world and to myself on the outside is the truth of who I am at heart.