dailydatewithgod

It is easy to get side-tracked when there are so many things clamoring for our attention.  Where we decide to place our focus determines our reality.  When we do not make a decision we lose sight of what is important to us.  Sometimes we go on automatic pilot and before we realize it what we are valuing is not what we intended.  It is what our default mode intended.  Life asks us to show up.  Show up and choose what we are valuing.  Choose the measure we want to share of ourselves in our being with the world.  Choose what value we bring to life.  Choose what we want to get out of it.  I used to think I was at the mercy of everything from my sexual abuse experiences to the weight on my body.  None of that is true.  When I reconnect with my heart I find the truth of who I am.  When I choose to reconnect, I get to discover my value.  Valuing my experiences from the past is a choice.  I did try to ignore them and throw them away.  That did not work to well.  The only freedom I have found is in valuing the experiences.  Not because I like to be in pain but because it is not something I can change. What I can change by valuing it is what happens now?  What I do with what happened shapes the experience of the present and the future.  My choice to value the bad stuff as much as the good stuff is my choice. The world may not understand it.  People will have their opinions about it, but I care about what my God thinks and what my heart sees and knows.  I have had the experience of being rescued from things.  Incest was not one of them, so I choose to believe there is a greater opportunity here.  My heart whispers that maybe just maybe by valuing the frightening and maddening experience of being an incest survivor I can create a present and future reality that I would not be able to otherwise.  I have transformed a lot in body and mind and there is more to go.  I figure that is why I am still breathing.  I will know I am done when I am dead.  On the days that are really really hard and I want to jump out of my skin and be anywhere but the present moment because I feel like I am in a time warp from the past, I stop and breathe.  I turn my attention to my heart and ask what it is valuing in this moment and I listen.  I listen until I find my center.  It may take a while.  There are tears, moments of rage, and friends I trust along the way.  When I am ready to hear it, my heart will open up and show me my value.