dailydatewithgod

When I first stepped into the recovery rooms for my obesity and sugar addiction I heard people saying the most peculiar thing.  “I Am enough. I do enough. There is enough.”  I had never heard such a thing.  I could not even wrap my head around the idea.  How is that possible?  Don’t you know there is so much more I need to do and be to be acceptable.  I had no inkling how incredibly hard I drove myself.  It was such an inherent part of my narrative to judge and criticize myself so ridiculously hard that I had no idea there was another way.  It is an agreement I made with myself at a very young age.  Little by little over the years this belief about myself has chipped away.  My daily dates with God helped me to begin to see that who I am is enough because no matter what God shows up every day.  I have experienced a softening  of my heart with time.  Patience and progress of the process is the road I am on.  Even today many years later I am witnessing the falling away of other areas in my life where I am mistakenly driven by the idea that I do not do enough.  It shows up in subtle ways like another book to read, workshop to attend, process to undertake, and so on.  God is showing me and I am opening my eyes to see that living in light means accepting the darkness not trying to dispel it.  I can be a hero and walk through my own darkness but it is not my job to destroy the polarity of the universe.