dailydatewithgod

Sometimes I forget I have a choice.  My adopted character defense of being a victim kicks in.  I do not realize I can ask questions and feel no sense of personal agency.  Gratefully, with God’s help it is not my predominant mode of being anymore.  These days I get tripped up by it in more subtle ways.  I am humble and grateful when I notice it.  I work on not making myself wrong for it, instead I notice it and exchange it for another way of being.  I see it when I do not like the choice I have.  In a situation with another person when they are behaving in a way that does not make it easy for me to interact with them, I can choose to either accept them as they are, say something or remove myself from the person and or situation, or adjust my expectations.  Exchanging the perspective that there is nothing I can do about it or seeing acceptance as defeat does nothing to bring about a personal sense of agency.  It is humbling to accept reality as it is, people as they are, and let go of the ideas we have about how we think it should be.  It is exchanging the idea that I have the better perception of the situation and I know what is right with being in the reality of how things are.  Exchanges in perspective from my thinking to God’s thinking come only when I am willing to trust I will be okay no matter what.  Exchanging my thinking with thinking of my heart means I know the core of who I am will not be irreversibly damaged by what I am experiencing.