dailydatewithgod

Growing up there seemed to be this unwritten rule around anger.  It was either an explosion that was bad or righteous and just anger which was good.  Any other layer of anger got couched under less intimidating terms.  It was okay to be bothered, frustrated, annoyed, and irked. Irked was always my favorite mostly because it saying it one can vibrate some of the energy behind the feeling.  Besides, it is okay to say one is irked by many things without seeming like an angry person.  Just like using sarcasm as a socially acceptable way to voice anger without seeming angry.  If one is sarcastic they are not angry, they are funny.  The reality is all feelings exist on a continuum.  Feelings are not positive or negative, but how they are expressed can be either harmful or helpful.  As a result of not understanding the latter, I learned to use sarcasm and claim that I was irked when I was not able to successfully suppress the anger.  I am not sure if others can relate, but I always use to say I was someone who did not get angry.  It is kind of like saying I have an arm I don’t use.  I was more concerned with staying in the realm of what is socially acceptable than allowing myself to look at what might be behind the anger.  In recovery, I learned how to express anger healthily.  There is nothing wrong with it as long as I do not use it to hurt myself or others.  Given my history as an addict, I had lots of practice in hurting myself with it but not even realize that was part of what I was doing to myself.  Today, I do not need to wait to identify myself as feeling the emotion of anger.  I can begin by noticing what irks me or what I am inclined to be sarcastic about as indications I am on the path of anger. When we learn to pay attention to our irks instead of brushing them aside and telling ourselves they are not important, we give ourselves permission to practice honoring our feelings, no matter what they are.  If we listen to the message behind the irks or what we hear ourselves expressing sarcasm about, we can touch on what we are angry about and find a healthy way to express it before it becomes unhealthy.  Our irks become the wake-up call to what is going on inside of us that needs our attention.  If we are not willing to pay attention to ourselves, why would anyone else?