dailydatewithgod

We all have different styles of relating to others.  There are common factors within those different styles but it is easy to categorize them as friendly, harsh, abrupt, fearful, forceful, with or without energy, or gentle to name a few.  Our approaches to other people and ideas do a lot to shape how we perceive the response to our approach.  We like to take things as they are and pretend we have no impact on what comes back at us, but that is simply not true.  Our mindset and heart-set set the course of our approaches and play a role in our perception of what we are approaching.  The kinds of approaches are widely varied, but we tend to get comfortable with some more than others.  They become our default approaches.  We also often alter which approach we use depending on the environment, people, or various preconceived notions we have about what we are approaching.  Without consciously intending to we go into anything with an approach based on what we think or feel something or someone is going to be like.  We can do our best to consciously let go of any preconceptions but often there are preconceptions we are not even aware of that are so ingrained we do not realize they are anchoring our approach style.  What we learn becomes directly impacted by our approach.  It is not so much about getting rid of our approaches but becoming aware of them.  The degree to which we keep them present in mind and know which approaches will most likely create a non-desired outcome will determine how effective we are at trying a different approach.  We think we know that when our mom or friend speaks about a particular subject upon which we disagree with them we will want to approach them convincingly so they can see the error of their ways.  If we check in with ourselves and pay attention to what approach our heart would take it might be to simply listen with curiosity for the first time as though we had never heard them speak about it before.  By changing our approach we might learn something.  The something we might learn may be about the topic or our mom.  In the time I have spent on my daily dates with God I notice that my heart’s approach is more inclined towards curiosity and connection, whereas my mind’s approach is inclined towards insistence upon sharing my perspective and making my point.  They are both valid but being aware of them I can determine based on what I want to get out of an interaction, which approaches will best serve that purpose at the moment.