dailydatewithgod

One of my favorite words is continue.  It is a simple yet profound term to describe hope or devastation depending on the context.  It is a word speaking to the power of lingering with something.  As a child, due to the sexual trauma I experienced, I learned really quickly how to abandon myself.  It took the form of leaving my body because of the confusion and the discomfort or my perspective on what was happening which did not seem to agree with others’ perspectives.  I then found other ways to create the same experience through food and self-hatred. The idea of lingering with myself as a safe place to be was foreign to me.  I am not sure I truly understood what it means to linger in safety until my daily dates with God began.  I had such a mixed-up sense of safety because what I told myself was safe and unsafe caused me to want to leave myself.  It was God who showed me the power of lingering a little bit past my comfort zone to move from a place of unsafe to safe.  It seems contrary to our minds to linger when we experience discomfort of any kind.  Why not leave?  Why not get on to something more comfortable?  Yet there is power in lingering past what our minds’ tell us is our capacity, our courage, and our strength. The truth is our heart is far more resilient than we realize.  It is what allows us to continue on despite difficulty.  It is what empowers us to continue to search for a way to make it through when we feel lost.  Being with God who is happy to be lingering along with me as I get to know the landscape of my heart is what has taught me what it means not to abandon myself.  Lingering with our heart gives us the fortitude to continue to hope no matter what we are going through.