dailydatewithgod

As human beings, we seem to be masters of not being able to see ourselves.  It is baffling sometimes when I come to understand something about myself that I was unable to see until that moment.  It is though my mind creates this veil that prohibits us from really knowing what is going on underneath.  We have unconscious biases, we operate in ways that are contradictory to our intentions, or we have moments when we find ourselves behaving in ways we told ourselves we would never do.  It is perplexing, to say the least.  It is like there is this hidden darkness that is waiting to be seen in the light.  From my daily dates with God, I have come to understand that this complex system called “Colleen” is a physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic being. I suppose to think I would not have certain elements about myself to which I am blind would make me God.  God who demonstrates tremendous compassion and sensitivity has stood with me as the veil lifts to expose some darkness. Through the practice of pause and observance, I can appreciate the subtle way the system of me operates.  My mind which wants to just figure it out and get behind the veil so I can fix it all is clearly not what God had in mind. When I view the operating system of me through the lens of my heart and learn to see me as God sees me, I can trust that when the veil hiding any darkness in me is lifted is exactly when it is supposed to be lifted.  It is humbling to find myself in situations and not be who I thought I was because part of me was veiled to me. In those moments, God stands with me under the light of love and invites me to love the darkness which was hiding behind the veil.  It is not the approach my mind would take.  My mind would do its best to scrub it out and hope it never came back. I find God’s approach more realistic and recognize it requires courage.  Through the lens of my heart, I can appreciate the veil and discover the gift in the darkness.