dailydatewithgod

I used to think I needed a God who would provide a protective cover.  Based on my experience as a child who lived in fear a lot, it makes sense.  I did not feel safe. I realized in recovery however, that I had placed my understanding of God within the same black and white perspective when it came to wanting cover. What occurred as a particular circumstance colored my view of what life was like.  From my perspective, life was not safe. Food and sugar buffered me from that reality over time but I could no longer use the food.  Plus, I realized the food had not provided the protective cover the way I needed it to.  It only felt like it did.  I see now that it worked well enough to cover me until I could be in a place in my life where I was ready to look at what I could not see before. It was a harsh awakening to realize that I wanted cover from life in general.  I had taken a traumatic experience and because it occurred at such a young age, my brain formed an expectation of life around it.  By translation, I needed cover from all of life.   My daily dates with God invited me to begin to change my perspective.  Over time my idea of God shifted to one of cover from life to one that is with me through all of it. A God who always sees me as the whole being of light and love that am I am at my core.  A God who reminds me when I forget that no outside circumstance defines me or can undo what God has created within me.  I moved from the perspective of someone who wants God to provide a protective cover from life to a God who stands with me to face whatever life has uncovered for me to discover this day. God knows all of life’s circumstances give me a chance to show up and find out who I truly am.