dailydatewithgod

We like to think the goal is to have it all figured out.  Isn’t that what we are all here to do?  Isn’t that what we are all driving towards?  It certainly explains why we value concepts like truth and honesty.  The honest truth is most of what we figure out is an estimation.  Our minds cannot hold the awareness and understanding of the entire universe not to mention the possible multiple universes. We get a taste of it which I presume is enough given that is what is happening.  It is funny then that no matter how much of an estimation we have to hang our hat on, we believe it is not enough.  If this year has taught us anything it is that certainty is an illusion.  The full picture is only in hindsight.  God invites us to balance our mind’s desire to have it all figured out and trust the flow in our hearts which reminds us the estimation is enough.  It is enough because it is what allows us to do what is right in front of us to do.  To guard ourselves against any unforeseen circumstances (which is a fool’s errand) we convince ourselves that we can figure it all out if we just keep playing it over and over in our minds.  Bringing our system into balance with the peace of our hearts which allows an estimation to be enough gives us the courage we need to keep showing up, to appreciate the fullness of estimation we have at this moment and trust in the more that will be revealed.  It is a process, a dance, and an engaging way to interact with life that I fought with my whole being before I got into recovery.  So much of the essence of my addiction was about fighting reality.  It is exhausting and almost caused me to dull my soul so much I would have been a walking ghost of a person.  I resisted trusting my heart’s estimation of my reality because it contradicted with those in authority (whomever or whatever I saw as an authority at that time).  My daily dates with God became the restorative relationship I needed to reconnect with the truth of who I am at my core and let go of taking on the estimation of others as my own.