dailydatewithgod

I used to think that I would know that I was victorious in some endeavor because others would notice and acknowledge me. I have come to realize that what simply another way of me seeking approval from others. The real triumph is when I become aware of overcoming or growing through something. It is less like a parade and more like a bump in energy from within when I notice a change in my thinking and behavior. The grand triumph is simply an accumulation of many little victories, mostly unnoticed, along the way. Going through a stressful day without turning it into a reason to count all the ways I messed up is a triumph. When I refrain from reacting and decided to take a deep breath is a triumph. When I find the story in my head wants to go on and on about how I can’t do it and I counter by listing for myself all the things I am doing, it is a triumph. When my head hits the pillow and I did not spend my day driving around for my next sugar hit, it is a triumph. When I can feel all there is to feel and know I am not defined by it or have to act from it, it is a triumph. We are so much more than what we think, feel, and do. God invites us to pause and notice how we are being at any given moment and when we do it is a triumph. It may sound impersonal and distant, but on the contrary, it opens up the space of our hearts which holds the knowledge of the truth of who we are and what we are capable of outside of what our mind is chattering about. Life is wacky, messy, beautiful, alarming, challenging, and a catalyst for us to discover who we are outside of our stories and the stories of others. Each day is different if we let it surprise us and the triumph for me today will be the number of times I remembered not to take myself so seriously.