It is clear to me so far that things are rarely what they seem. Besides the fact that always going on are levels of reality that escape our cognitive awareness, it is simply not rational given our limitations that we can know all that is happening at once. It would probably blow our minds. I think often of a scene from the movie “Dogma” in which the angel recalls to the main character how he delivered the message to Jesus about his impending crucifixion because the voice of God would have blown apart Jesus’ eardrums. It appears that there are some things we cannot be aware of or experience on the level we think we should be able to. It is why I believe the role we all have is to be messengers of God without the wings, unfortunately ( I still think flying would be an awesome experience and envy the bird at times). The thing is we do not often know exactly how or why we are the messenger or the message. God calls upon us to keep an open channel. Like the channel of peace, St. Francis spoke about. The risk is it requires a level of transparency between us and ourselves, between us and God. After many years of daily dates, I have experienced the futility of pretending with God to be different than I am in this moment. It is not easy to admit to myself, God, or anyone that I still carry judgment about having feelings of anger. Especially when it comes to those things for which I know anger is not particularly helpful as far as I can tell. On our daily dates I have learned that God readily holds the space and acceptance so I can just tell God (as if God did not already know) I am feeling (insert feeling) and I don’t like that I am feeling it. I think it is wrong. I think it should go away. I think I should be better than this. In that moment of transparency, I can hear myself talk about what I am thinking. God moves me to pause, breathe into my heart, and with humility ask, “how do you see this God?” Recently while experiencing a familiar turmoil with full transparency I asked God and what I heard back was “growing.” Not the word I would have chosen which is how I know it did not come from me. Upon some reflection, I can kind of see. I am growing in my ability to feel deeply. I am growing in my desire to more readily practice self-compassion. I am growing in my ability to be present to discomfort and do what is in front of me to do anyway. I know from experience all of these expand my capacity to be alive and to love. Until I am willing to be transparent and lay out my thoughts and feelings I am a clogged channel and there are no messages or opportunities to be a messenger that can get through. I am learning. I am growing in my learning.
Are there ways in which transparency might open the door for us to be a live channel for God to speak through or for others to experience the message of who we are today?
dailydatewithgod 
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