I presume God put forethoughts into the design of living beings. As much as God is about the moment, God is also about the the process and the journey. I just wonder sometimes given how much about ourselves is hidden from us until, of course the moment it is not. I remember a TV show years ago where a God character would give this teenage girl assignments but only give her the info she needed. She, of course, felt like the hints she got were confusing or missing something. So she asked to be let in on the full plan. The God character reminded her it was not part of their deal but agreed to oblige her just once and let her see the plan. The next scene is her passed out on the floor and her mother is tapping her shoulder to see if she is okay and asking if she fainted. And she mutters, “hints, hints are fine.” It made me laugh out loud because I have had many such a discussion with God. Frustrated and confused because I felt like I was flailing in the dark and did not understand where things were going or what I was supposed to do. I do remember at the roughest times yelling at God with something like, “Listen! I don’t know what you want from me. What am I supposed to do? You are the one with the big picture, here, not me. So if you want me to be doing your will, you are going to have to do more on your part.” I do remember that when I was in college and doing my inner city volunteer teaching work I was in such a place. I remember many a time shaking my fists at God. It was not until my late 20s when I got into recovery and upon reflection I realized what I would not have been ready to do in order to make room for God and take in more of what God had in store for me. I was too addicted to sugar and using my weight as a protection device and self-criticism tool to make room in my heart for more of God’s voice and love. Hindsight is 20/20 and perhaps that wasn’t it at all, but given the what I know understand and do not understand about God, I see how I was not ready until I was. It is a reminder to me that God has a creative sense of timing on things. There are so many levels of things that unfolded when I was ready to face my demons that I did not have all that I needed around me (forms of God with skin on for one) to keep opening up. Now when I am in moments of feeling disconnected from myself, God, others, or wandering around feeling lost I know it is time to reach for the hand of God that is always within me. That was not something I was ready to see before. What I felt like was God’s absence was merely a misperception. God has never been anywhere else and today all I have to do is pause, take a deep breath and connect to my heart. I may not get any kind of divine message but when I get centered with all that is in the moment somehow what happens next does not concern me. I still believe God has a creative sense of time and I may not agree with it but I never wonder where God is while it is all in process.
Are we willing to trust that no matter how much the timing of things seems to suck or how lost we feel we can always rely on the power of pausing and reconnecting with the presence of God in our hearts today?
dailydatewithgod 
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