dailydatewithgod

Within our makeup are all the capacities needed for survival.  If we are in danger, we will be able to figure out a way to escape it either by freezing, fleeing or fighting. Its is part of our basic make-up.  What it looks like in real-time can be different for each person.  It is in our design to be able to endure situations that test our ability to survive.  What we think we can survive is part of what drives it.  If we go solely from what we think we are capable of in our minds we would be selling ourselves short.  The tremendous capacity to survive is built into our mind, our body, our heart and our spirit.  God created us to live and live fully.  He therefore also gave us the tools needed to make that happen.  We will utilize what is at our best in the moment.  As a child, in order to survive the reality of sexual abuse I would escape in my mind.  Whatever we face as kids, sometimes escape physically is not possible so we do so with our minds.  It can be a very effective tool.  I am grateful for it.  Living in recovery as an adult woman however, I am driven by the desire to live and experience life as fully as possible.  This means the escape I choose today is more holistic. Escaping into my mind and leaving my body is not what I want to do today.  So I must utilize the tools for survival provided by my heart and my spirit which for me are often initiated by my body.  My heart grants me the courage to face it.  My spirit grants me the patience and the fortitude to face life.  When my heart and spirit are enrolled they utilize the capacity of my mind to walk through experiences I would have thought I needed to escape from to survive.  Over time I begin to see that today what I need escape from is my fixed thinking about how the experience is going to be. With these God-given tools working in concert together, escape means letting go of my version of reality and embracing God’s.

We look with admiration to the qualities of strength. We are drawn to the strong of heart, mind, and body.  God is interested in the strength of our spirit, where the spirit of love endures.  The funny thing is we think it comes from demonstrating strength and building on it.  I have found that the things that strengthen my spirit come from weakness.  Until I know and face my weakness, I cannot know what needs to be strengthened.  There is another option of course.  It could give up entirely, we all could.  Yet something about the way God created us has endowed us with courage to endure through our weaknesses.  The hope of light living inside us which God nurtures and strengthens never goes out.  It is the space from which to draw the needed strength and begin the work of having a full life in the spirit of love.  This world can tempt us to define ourselves by the things we are still striving to overcome or have failed at. God’s eyes are focused on the powerful strength waiting to be seen in the light of day.  When we have the courage to see our weakness as an avenue to awaken to the process of strengthening our spirit, we begin to know what God knows.  We are illuminated as to the truth of who we are which is someone who is not defined by the circumstances or the struggles of their life but by the courage to latch on to hope. When we get an opportunity to strengthen our spirit by facing our weaknesses we experience the power of love in us.

No one, as far as I can tell, makes it through this life unscathed.  We all  have things we are working on in the form of  weaknesses or experiences that threaten to beat us down.  There are areas where we are strong and areas where we are weak. Unlike the message of the world, God reminds us that areas of weakness do not make us less than.  Yes, they humble us and remind us we are not alone.  If I never faced my food addiction, my incest, or the day-to-day areas of my life where I think I am not measuring up, I would not know the strength that exists in my heart.  We do not need hide our areas of weakness in shame.  We are called by the hope and light of our hearts to claim them as the portals through which the strengthening power of love shows up for the very world that would look down up on us for being weak.

I find trees to be these amazing creatures of nature.  They are rooted underground so you cannot see without digging where they draw their strength and nutrients.  Trees come in so many varieties, shapes, colors, they change with the seasons, and they are constantly growing.  Trees get pulled and blown, deal with wind and extreme weather, and still they stand.  Still they stand.  They are like a sign post to the power of life. To the greatness that comes from not losing one’s grounding despite adversity.  I also know so many of the trees I come across have been there long before I saw them and will still be there long after I am gone from this planet.  Trees provide shade, comfort, structure, beauty, and nutrients to the environment. Even when they are cut down they have left their mark.  I think of the story, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.  Even in the end when the tree had nothing left to give, it provided just the thing the man needed.  Its roots were still there below the surface and it gave its all to the life of the world and to the once boy who became a man.  God still believes in the light in our hearts even when we only see darkness.  God still knows the power of love that created every cell of our being when we doubt it.  God knows that the light of love is still inside of us and can never go out completely. It is still connected and rooted in God who keeps it alive.

We have the primary role in our lives.  We are here because we are meant to be here.  When we watch and actor in tv, film, or stage we have certain understandable expectations.  We expect to see them play the character they are taking on and all his or her facets.  We want to see the range of their humanness.  We want to know what they feel and where they have come from.  We are curious as to what has happened to shape their lives and their perspectives.  We would be caught off guard if we saw them being the character they are sharing a scene with.  Why would it be necessary to have two of the same role? The scene would not work.  Why then are we surprised when we live our lives trying to be other people or other people’s expectations of us and it doesn’t work?  In a film if all we wanted was for one character to explain the rest it would be a really long monologue. Even then if the actor does not know his or her lines, there is no show. Life is a dialogue and knowing our lines is not enough.  To live it fully we must be the words and the actions.  We are starring in the movie of our lives and the people with whom we interact want to know with whom they are playing.  My daily dates with God have taught me more about who I am, where I come from, where I am going, and what my purpose is than I thought they would.  A relationship with God involved connecting with ourselves as much as our concept of God.  God wants us to take on the starring role in our lives.  If he didn’t want us, he would have cast someone else.  If she thought there was someone else better suited to the role, he or she would have it.  It may not be easy to be the star but if the story revolves around the starring role, we need to be able to show up for it.  Each of us is the starring role in our own lives and when the plays intersect, how will it work if we decide to switch with others or do not know our lines?

When I stand by the ocean I am struck by the consistent rhythm by which the waves move in and out.  There is a steady flow like the rhythm of our own hearts beating again and again.  God speaks to us through the steadiness of the rhythms of our lives. In those quiet and seemingly unimportant spaces in between the beats or the waves crashing on the sand God whispers “I love you.” More importantly, God speaks to our hearts with each steady beat and says, “I AM.  I AM Here. I AM Here with you.  I AM within you.”  Those words become the steady rhythm of our hearts and when we slow down and get quiet we can begin to hear them and let them sink in.  The steadiness of the reminder of who we are and where we come from is what we need to navigate this world.  With this perspective all is seen through the eyes of courage and love.  There is a reminder and a recognition of the truth from which our lives originated and we can rely upon the steadiness of the reminder when we pause to connect with it.

I learned early on about being of service.  In the family I grew up it was understood that as practicing Catholic Christians we were meant to live out our faith in God by doing for others.  I learned the principles of compassion and empathy. In school we did community service and at home we had refugees who came to live with us.  We read and heard the parables of Jesus like the Good Samaritan and the widow with the penny. At school, I gave two pieces of paper to the classmates who didn’t have any even though they only asked for one. I even became and altar server at the age of 10.  Although I am sure my desire to be “on stage” was somewhat the driver, I liked playing a part in a sacred service.  I was rather disappointed to discover, however, that women could not become priests.  The idea of serving others became an integral part of my reality from a very young age and there were multiple avenues in which it was expressed.  I am very grateful to my family and my faith for instilling these ideas in me.  When I got into recovery I came across a similar ideology and learned concretely to practice it in small ways and how quickly it could be the very thing to get me through a rough moment.  Growing up I saw serving others as a way of making myself okay.  If I did it, you liked me and I was safe.  I used it to justify the space on the planet I was not sure I was worthy of taking up.  Sometimes the intention behind a given spiritual teaching or perspective gets lots in translation.  I do not think being a practicing Christian or spiritual person of any kind is asking people to serve others because they need to earn their keep.  As my daily relationship with God has grown, I see it in a very different light. Love moves us to love others.  Just like hurt people hurt people; loved people, love people.  When I am in the awareness of God’s love for me I am moved to be serving because it is a way of living out the love inside of me.  When I was concerning myself with serving because it was what was expected or would make me okay I was looking to get something from those I served, even if I was not conscious of it.  Being serving is about living out the truth of who we are in God.  The funny thing is we think we have to wait to feel it.  The reality is we are always completely and totally loved by God.  There is no time when we are not.  Sometimes when we are serving others and we experience the love within us being shared with others we come to a recognition of how much we are loved.  We are touched in our own hearts when we connect with others.  It is not about waiting until we feel it. It is about doing the action of serving and trusting it is within us to do, but not so that those we serve will say we are good.  They may in their appreciation but the idea is not to do it just because of the response.  True serving is freely given.

We focus a lot in this world on being right or being wrong.  It seems to be the simplest categorization of people.  As if somehow we all do not engage in thinking or actions that are right and wrong.  On my daily dates with God I have opened up to the idea of categorizing by what works and what doesn’t.  It is an individual decision but in some cases can be broadly applied.  Thinking judgmental thoughts does not work for me because it keeps others at a distance and closes off my heart.  Yet, it does work if that is what I am trying to achieve.  It does not work because it is often based on only my perspective.  Unless I am open to a correction in my thinking I am likely to make an error in my judgment.  It doesn’t make me bad that I judge, it makes me human. Acting on it without correcting my perception does not work if my function is to be the person God created me to be.  It is not easy to be open to being corrected, but it is humbling.  I cannot know or comprehend at any given moment all the circumstances involved.  Even after the correction I may still have judgment but I will be in a more loving space to choose acceptance or not.   God is not deterred by our bad behavior the way we are of our own or others.  We can follow God’s guidance to open ourselves up to correction when we notice that it works for our hearts.

As a kid I was not too interested in puzzles as a game.  I understood the concept but tended to recoil from things that took too much concentration. Especially if it was something that I had to look at and determine a pattern or method in order to solve.  I did not like what I perceived as the barriers of having to do it right. I had enough of that pressure on myself as it was.  I was happy to try to solve a mystery by going from one thing to the next and asking questions. That would allow me to talk to people and pick their brains.  I didn’t get the fun or how it was a game to stare at something to find a connection or unscramble words.  I had my fill of puzzling experiences for which there was no information communicated and did not want to add to it.  If I was inquiring about something and got to move forward literally by asking questions, I was all for it. That felt in my domain of control.  To wait for the puzzle to open up in front of my eyes was too much pressure and there was the waiting.  And if I did not complete it as fast as someone else, I was failing.  I would grown when my mother would open up yet another jigsaw puzzle.  She loved them and could sit for hours piecing them together. Her enjoyment of them puzzled me!  Piece by piece it would come together and form a whole picture but she couldn’t ask the picture to tell her where the next piece was.  As we grow, we get to learn how to find ourselves before we have the answer or the complete picture.  The puzzles of our lives is the coming together of all the elements that make up the whole of who we are.  Sometimes we walk around with chunks of scenery missing from our story or our essence.  God always sees the full picture of who we are and knows it is there even if we cannot see it.  We are designed to be puzzled and unsettled by the missing pieces because we are designed in wholeness.  There is a beauty both in the piecing of the puzzle because of the process and the completion of the whole.  Sometimes it is about following a pattern or noticing a color scheme and how it connects with the people and ideas we encounter from day-to-day. At the end of our lives we can see the full picture and until then God is there to help us fill in the gaps.

Our brain’s are geared for survival. Our whole being is set up to be able to exist.  It is the reason we are here.  We are supposed to be here.  Our minds have several neural network systems at play.  From what scientists understand one of those contains all the automatic functions.  All the things we do without thinking about it like breathing and our heart beating.  This network is primarily responsible for our survival.  It is usually our first response to everything that happens in our lives.  In the areas where are ability to exist is not in question, it is helpful to question the first response.  It is where the practice of mindfulness comes in.  Paying attention and noticing our initial response before acting on it allows us to play an active role in our daily existence.  As God has taught me on our daily prayer and meditation dates, it is fascinating to stop and notice so many of the first thoughts crossing my mind.  As I learned to practice this and notice how I could see the idea before attaching to it and decide if I wanted to keep it or let it go,  I felt empowered.  All of a sudden the process of existing is something I can be actively engaged in.  I do not need to be a victim to my thinking.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not easy and there is a reason mediation and mindfulness are practices.  It is exactly what one is doing, practicing over and over.  The power of the relationship with God shows itself when I am uncertain about a thought I have typically held on to. I am not always clear if it is true anymore or  if I just believed it was because I thought it.  Perhaps God’s version of my existence does not even include this element. Maybe it is something I took on at an early age and it has outworn its usefulness.  These are the things we take into further contemplation when God shows me his version of what my existing means.  She wants us to see our existence as an integral part is the universe where love rules.  This requires new eyes.

A fundamental tool of our minds is the ability to question our reality.  Being someone who is inclined to over analyze just about everything I can get stuck in a query and find it hard to get out. I seem to be a questioner by nature and can sometimes drive myself and others crazy with all my questions. It is however, interesting when I look at the things that in my life that I do not question or times when I did not use the tool of inquiry.  When I take on the stance of exploration and learning I am in a place of opportunity to grow.  By querying the things that I do over and over again or situations I find myself in repeatedly I can look a little closer at what is going on.  Things are rarely what they seem and as far as I can tell there are patterns and concepts from which we operate that have been given to us and we blindly accept them.  It is only when we find ourselves butting up against them and in pain from them to do we stop do some querying.  God invites us to look with compassion as God does with all things, at the places and spaces in our lives where our hearts are not aligned with our heads.  We may be able to blindly follow something in our mind but our heart doesn’t buy it.  It may, but the heart seems to only get on board when it senses an alignment with the truth of who we are.  Our ego gets very attached to the known including those passed down concepts and patterns whether they be from society, family, or just repetition.  To even begin querying can feel uncomfortable and scary because our ego sees it as a threat.  This is where God’s gentle hand and kind support can allow us to open up and take a look just to see what is there.  It is the gentle voice reminding us that just because we are querying, doesn’t mean we have to change anything.