dailydatewithgod

As we cultivate a life worth living that speaks to our hearts and allows us to be the love we are created to be, it might be good to be present for it.  We tend to think that bumps we experience on our path are steps back.  But maybe they are less about steps back and the things that propel us further on the path.  Maybe we need these setbacks so we can see how far we have come in our lives.  It can give us the energy and concentration to be present in the gratitude of the life we have created.  It does not make sense from traditional western success mentality, but every process of the path is important as it makes the path we are called to attend to.  Our hearts wants to be there for all the elements. God does not define the good versus the bad, God is there for it all. God invites us in our breath to be in attendance for whatever moment of our path is occurring right now.

If we know and trust deep down who we truly are we find we can walk in this world with greater confidence and sense of safety   We are able to conduct ourselves in a such a manner that we are not thrown off so easily by other’s responses to us because we have firm bearing from which we are present. As an incest survivor I had constructed a bearing based on a lot of assumptions about myself and the world that were not true outside the circumstances of my experience.  It all had to fall out from underneath me so I could begin to seek out a true solid bearing on which to live.  In my relationship with God I find that solidity and safety I always longed for.  I began to learn what true safety is not a manufactured reality that provided a twisted sense of safety through control and withholding.  On our daily dates I get the opportunity to reaffirm my relationship with God and with the truth of who I am.  God stands firm in the trust and faith of the truth of who I am and invites me to do the same.  With daily practice I am a witness to God’s belief in the true bearing upon which to approach my day.

I thought for years that being harsh with myself was what motivated me to get things done.  I was certain if I could just give myself a harder time that I  could be more successful and produce more results.  I would somehow measure up.  Recently I came across a quote that asked, “When you are at war with yourself, who wins?”  I found out the hard way that beating myself down with harsh words and criticisms just drove me further and further away from myself and others.  It was not until I found myself winning the war with myself by losing myself that I began to look for an alternative.  On our daily dates, God shows up with a forgiving gentleness with fierce confirmation of the belief of my wholeness despite how broken I feel.  Day in and day out, I learned to sit in the presence with my breath-taking in the gentle nature of God’s love.  I realized by the mere fact that I could breathe meant I too had some of this gentleness within me.  A little at a time I could fan the flame of the gentleness an cultivate a fierce presence of love in me that would extend out to others.  Gentleness does not mean being weak, it means being connected to love from which I was created one day at a time.

It is hard to imagine that anything lasts forever and yet there are many things we treat as though they will never end.  Why is it so difficult to believe that there is a source of love that withstands everything living and dying?  All of nature cycles through birth and death.  The night goes dark and then the light dawns.  We breathe in and then out.  Generations of families pass on genetic and behavioral information.  Life is every evolving and growing just as the galaxies are.  The force of being seems to keep going despite all we do in this world to bring about destruction and death.  In the movie,  A Winter’s Tale, there is a conversation between Lucifer and one of his demons.  The demon, Pearly, admits that because of hope, he and Lucifer are losing.  No matter how much darkness they create,  they are losing “one bright star at a time.”  Perhaps our reluctance to believe in an everlasting force is because it is beyond what our minds can grasp.  Yet our souls know it deep down and our hearts sing its song with each new breath because hope is alive in them always.  Maybe God is inviting us to see everlasting hope.

As we walk through this life it is easy to get stuck in the muddiness of it all.  Everywhere we turn we see messages of death and destruction and that is just the morning news report.  We come across people whose hearts are closed off out of fear.  We wake up and realize our own hearts are closed.  How is it possible to believe that a God who is love created us out of the same pureness of love’s energy?  How can this be true if we seem to lack evidence of this reality?  Perhaps it has something to do with the lens through which we are viewing life.  I remember when I was deep in the depths of my addiction when I was resigned to what I thought I was defined by the dark and muddy spaces inside myself.  I felt defeated and was struggling so hard to reach for the light I sensed somehow existed somewhere even if not in me anymore.  What else could that willingness to not completely give up be other than God?  The pureness of God’s presence in our lives remains there whether we are aware of it or not.  The essential of nature of God will not change based on our circumstances or feelings.  God will always be the beacon of pureness emanating from us when we are connected to it.  When I find myself in moments of not being able to see either my own pureness or someone else’s I know I need God’s help. God, how do you see me? God, how do you see this person, event, circumstance?  Show me what I need to do to open my eyes.

If we believe ourselves to be separate from everyone else because we are so different where does that leave us but alone?  If we perceive others as separate from ourselves because of their distinguishing factors, where does that leave them but alone?  Call me crazy but I can’t imagine that the millions of people in existence are here because they are meant to be alone.  We are all part of the same universe.  We are all part of the human experience.  We are all part of the same Creator.  In the same way that our body has different parts it also functions as a whole.  I can look at the parts as being separate or as part of the whole.  Perhaps it is a glass half versus glass empty proposition but maybe all God is asking us to do is look of ourselves and each other as part of the whole instead of apart from each other.

My prayer for us is the willingness to see through God’s lens of wholeness in which we each play a vital part of the whole of love’s existence today.

We were created out of love for love.  It is the core of our identity and when we forget that we run into trouble.  A Course In Miracles says that fear is the opposite of love.  By that accord, when we find ourselves in fear, we have forgotten who we are.  It is not a matter of us being wrong or bad.  It is a matter of being forgetful.  Yet if we remembered all the time we would be perfect.  Perhaps the key is knowing how to get back to the truth of who we are.  God does not care how often we stray or forget ourselves.  God is ready to help us remember and welcome us back into our truth.  This is how love works.  In the Christian scriptures according to Paul in a letter written to the community of Corinth: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Paul was helping the people of Corinth remember how God works.  We forget that God does not think as we do.  Therefore, love cannot only be what we think it is.  We are not only who we think we are because our core is something of God’s conception. If I am operating out of any of the above, I can stop, acknowledge I have forgotten who I am and ask God to guide me to remembrance.

Who Am I is one of the most fundamental questions we ask ourselves.  We draw answers from our experiences, our culture, our family, and a number of sources outside of ourselves.  It is when we take the question to the inner realm of our hearts that we can explore the true depths of who we are.  Our identity is not only who we present to the outside world but that which is operating within ourselves.  Our identity is how we talk to ourselves, what is most important to  us, what our intentions are and from where we draw our power.  If we rely on outside people or circumstances alone to define our identities we become chameleons.  This will fuel our lives for a while but to the extent which it is incongruent with our true selves it will not last. I tried this route most of my life.  I worked hard to be identified as someone who everyone liked. I saw it as essential to my safety because in my mind if you were disappointed or disliked me for any reason, I was not safe.  It was not until recovery and my daily dates with God taught me how to build and inner sense of safety that it was possible to be more of my true identity in the world.  I had to learn to sit in the quiet with the layers of identity on top of my heart and inventory what was true versus what was protection.  It is not an easy or one time process but it grants me the freedom and peace to show up in the world as my true identity.

Knowing where we come from is important not just as an origin story but so we can recognize true selves when we awaken in our hearts.  It can be scary to shed the false sense of self that we carry around with us.  It may not be the whole truth of who we are but we become familiar with it.  Stepping into unfamiliar territory is scary because it is unknown.  We interpret this as uncomfortable, associate discomfort with pain and become afraid.  It is a cycle that is all too easy to fall into.  God can lead us gently out of that cycle when we pause, take a breath, and draw our attention to our hearts.  There within the deepest part of ourselves we come face to face with the Source of our being and the truth of who we are.

The proper sequence for accuracy is ready, aim, fire.  We know this when it comes to weaponry which is usually life or death.  Why then do we scramble the order when it comes to life? Often we find ourselves maybe ready but before we are even sure if we are ready we have fired.  What happened to the aim?  How will we get where we want to go if we have no sense of what direction to move in. Sure we will go somewhere but if we have not determined our aim it may not be where we would like.  It may not be what will serve the greater good of love. Often times we place pressure on ourselves to have the answer, make the decision, get out of whatever we are in and so we haphazardly fire.  We fire our mouth, our body, use our money, drive our car, or letting our mind fire off stories that are not true.  These may not immediately cause death or injury but sometimes they can. If we prepare ourselves by connecting with our own hearts, touching the inner part of ourselves that knows what direction love is, then we can aim. It does not mean the outcome is always rainbows and butterflies but our soul can rest in the knowing we did our part to show up as God would have us show up.