dailydatewithgod

Many people, including myself at times, shudder just looking at the word confrontation.  Who wants that? It means conflict, doesn’t it?  Not exactly. The definition in layman’s terms is from the idea of two opposite things facing each other. It sounds very socially correct to say that we do not like confrontation.  Many I know shy away from it, to say the least.  I certainly don’t go searching it out. The funny thing is it does not exist outside of us only.  Most confrontation is going on inside of us.  We are often engaged in a confrontation between our mind and our hearts or our mind and our body or our mind and our spirit.  Are you noticing a trend?  Is it that our minds are built for confrontation?  That would be too simplistic.  The purpose of confrontation comes in the facing.  Acknowledging for ourselves where we are out of coherence. Where there is a possible conflict that stems from us not being whole in our expression.  It is not about being a perfect balance, it is about noticing when an internal confrontation is happening, and with curiosity, exploring what it is telling us about ourselves.  A productive confrontation between people with opposing ideas is handled through open and clear communication.   In the same way, we are invited to the confrontation between the different elements of who we are to discover our own truth in the moment. We spend time arguing with ourselves and avoiding confrontation because we are in fear.   Learning to trust that the core of who we are knows how to draw the courage and fortitude needed to face whatever inside of ourselves that is out of alignment, we can take a deep breath and walk through the confrontation despite our fear. We have the power to move forward and find the peace we seek within ourselves. Besides, when we are at war with ourselves, who wins?

Sometimes we lack imagination.  We become familiar with acceptable use of an item, purpose of an idea, intention of a person or group, and when it or they step out of the accepted norm our feathers get ruffled.  What would happen if we determined the use of family was to have as many farm hands as possible?  How upset would we be if we collectively agreed that the best use of an idea was to share something with others and engage in dialogue not throw it out as a truth that must be accepted if we want to be included?  Our minds are filled with all kinds of fixed ideas about what and how things are of best use.  When we step into our hearts we can see these same things through a different lens. It is not as much about what is acceptable as it is what is most needed at this moment.   How can we or an idea or an item best be of use right here, right now?  We do it in emergencies or the times we are faced with limited resources.  Otherwise, we default to what is normal or acceptable.  Our hearts open up our imagination by inviting the spirit of life into our system.  If we take a deep enough breath spirit can reach our minds and knock on the door of the expected and say, “imagine this . . .”  Suddenly we find an alternate use for something.  God invites us to stop suffering from a lack of imagination and use our hearts to open ourselves up to the spirit of use.

When people are focusing on something as a whole group there is a lot of energy on the element of focus because of the power of attention.  Commotions are typically seen as disturbances and something to be avoided.  But what if the commotion is what is needed to get our attention in the first place. Sometimes it is only when there is commotion present that we wake up to the presence of the energy around us. The same goes for the commotion within us.  We, humans, are fickle and do not like being uncomfortable.  At least it is what we tell ourselves.  In the striving for calm and balance, we can go too far and numb out.  Conversely, we can jump into something just because it is moving and we can’t stand being still.  God invites us to pause from the commotion in our minds which are first thoughts about everything happening within us and outside of us. In that pause, we can take a deep breath and notice if the commotion in our minds is also a commotion in our hearts.  Through our breath, we can assess if the commotion is something that genuinely resonates in our hearts as the impetus to move or the irritation on our hearts because we are blindly following the commotion of thoughts in our minds.  Our bodies can provide the tools needed to navigate our lives from a place of commotion that expresses the truth of who we are versus the desire to get out of ourselves and jump into the commotion of the world.

We pay attention to how we take care of our bodies.  At least many more people do now if they have not done so already.  We give credit to those who are custodians of knowledge.  How much do we value those who are stewards of the heart?  How important is it to us to be a steward of our own heart?  God gave us all of who we are physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  The goal is not to be perfectly balanced in all areas all the time.  The idea is to learn to grow and thrive through all of who we are.  Being a steward of ourselves means becoming intimately acquainted with how the whole of who we are operates best. We are given acknowledgment when we are stewards of our bodies perhaps because it is easiest to spot. We are awarded when we are stewards of our minds.  When it comes to emotional and spiritual stewardship we seem to pawn that off to others to do for us.  Yet no one else can tell us what wounds our hearts emotionally and to what depth.  No one outside of us can decipher what makes us come alive so much that we involuntarily see the light in others.  No one besides ourselves can create the formula for what it means to be an effective steward to ourselves.  It takes practice.  It takes patience. It takes awareness. It takes levity.  It takes a willingness to be with ourselves and accept all that is happening within ourselves as being the truth of the moment for us.  To be a good steward of myself, I sometimes need God to remind me that I am valuable and worthy of the time and effort.  When we take the time to cultivate ourselves as good stewards within, we then have the capacity to be a steward to others.  We cannot give something we do not have.

It is easy to get a sense of where our thinking is.  Our mind is a non-stop chatterbox.  Without prompting it our head is ready with ideas and opinions about everything all the time.  It is so constant that it can be challenging to not feel overwhelmed.  It is why people struggle with meditation.  They think it is about making the thoughts stop.  Maybe there is some guru out there who experiences that on a consistent level but I am not one of them.  Meditation and mindfulness are about getting some agency around our thoughts.  Learning to watch them and not get attached  Learning to accept that all the thoughts we have are not true just because we have them.  The discussion our minds are involved in can be fascinating and mesmerizing but it is not all there is.  God invites us to develop an awareness of the discussion going on in our hearts.  The discussion in our hearts is more subtle and can get drowned out by the discussion of our minds.  Here is where we can use the tools of mindfulness to not only keep our minds from driving us mad but open ourselves to be able to hear our heart’s discussion.  Cultivating the internal awareness of our heart’s discussion attunes us into the whole of who we are.  Tapping into our heart’s discussion gives us a fuller lens through which to see life unfolding before us which then affects the thoughts prompting the discussion in our heads.

The funny thing about life is how it is often the unexpected occurrences that tell us more about who we are and what we are capable of than the ones we plan.  Only when the moment where we need to be ready and moved into action that we see exactly what readiness looks like for us. Our minds are full of ideas about what we can and cannot do or what we will or will not experience and most of it is bunk.  It is all an ethereal idea until the moment is present. God invites us to cultivate the awareness of what it means to be ready to show up for ourselves.  It is less about proving what we can and cannot do or what we will or will not do and more about discovering it.  How can we really know what we are ready for until the opportunity presents itself?  Many times over in my life I was convinced I was not ready when all that needed to happen was for a situation to show up in which I had to call upon the courage of my heart to see what it meant to be ready. We can live our lives by the ideas in our heads about what it means to be ready or we can take a deep breath, connect to the courage of our hearts and explore ourselves as ready at the moment.

The fundamentals of how we show up give witness to so much more than the facade we present.  Our bearing speaks volumes about the kind of state of mind we are in.  We tend to judge other’s bearing at the moment as the presentation of their whole selves all the time.  Yet, how many of us are our whole selves at every given moment.  We may do our best but our best will be different each day and sometimes within one given day. It saddens me to see how we are treating each other when we lambast someone for one action as if it has bearing on the whole of who they are and then treat them accordingly.  Yes, we are to be held accountable for our actions. Hopefully, we grow into the kind of reflective and introspective human beings such that we catch ourselves instead of just waiting for others to do it for us. Our bearing is a reflection of our state of mind and heart in the moment of action.  Often times the disconnection in our behavior is because of a lack of awareness of either our state of mind or heart or both not because our bearing means we always behave that way.  When we pause to notice our state of mind and heart we can gain some insight at the level of ability to change our manner of being.  God invites us to do this continually so we grow in relationship with ourselves and begin to get to know the intricacies of all that we are bearing to the world and to ourselves.  It can be a murky and dark path at first, but the more we bring God into it, the more light we will find.

When we get disconnected from ourselves we operate from an automatic place.  We do not need to be present to continue living. On my daily dates with God, I have learned the power of being present and aware of myself as connected.  It is not always easy. We as well as those around us get used to the ersatz version of ourselves. There is nothing wrong with this because it is us. However, after much practice, I can recognize that being in the natural unfolding of who I am in the moment encompasses and creates the energy of life which is parallel to none.  The artificial facade we show to the world is not a contrast of who we are, it has elements of our natural or true self within it. Our ersatz outer shell may be something that has served us well until it begins to break and crack.  In my case, when I discovered it did not keep me safe from what I thought it was, my heart broke open. Being broken I was willing to take a closer look at the ersatz nature of my being and honor it for how far it had gotten me while also recognizing its limitations. Just like ersatz flowers which look lovely forever, they lack the life-giving energy that the natural ones have.  We are more like the natural world than we realize.  It was only when I was willing to get close enough to my ersatz self to say thank you for all you have done to allow me to take the next step in my life, that I could walk freely without needing to pull it out automatically to survive.

There are the obvious and acceptable definitions for things that we all go along with either because we trust it or perhaps because we lack imagination.  We tell ourselves we are safe and okay if we go along with the accepted norm.  Even when there is something within us that seems to guide us in a different direction.  On a human survival level, it is threatening to be considered outside the norm.  Yet there are times when we cannot deny the sense of guidance which may lead us down a different path than the one we are expected to follow.  We are left with the question, do we follow the acceptable guide we are given or follow the internal guide coming from our hearts?  There is much made of the path of an entrepreneur, especially in the United States. It stands as a symbol of individualism and carving one’s own path.  Yet how much of it becomes the same as the major companies who supposedly represent the opposite.  Taking a chance and setting ourselves out to be guided by our internal awareness may not be as extreme as striking out completely on our own.  It is more about listening closely to where our heart is guiding us at each moment to discover what is the next step. Following our inner guide does not need to be a big and audacious demonstration that makes us stand out.  It can also be a peaceful and fulfilled sense that we are one with ourselves and we exude that energy to those around us.  God encourages us to listen and notice where the inner guide in our hearts is calling our attention.  Sometimes we do not have to make a choice other than to notice how it distinguishes itself from all the outer voices of guidance.

The way our visual system works to take in information is not helpful for us to pick up on all the details.  Our minds do a lot of filling in the blanks.  This is part of what leads to faulty or suspect testimony from eyewitnesses.  As well-intended as one is unless we are focused on the details we will not give them much attention.  There are times in which we do remember minute details when we are in an agitated state brought on by fear or pain.  It is why when we are irritated by someone we also notice the little details of their behavior that we find equally annoying as their detestable ideas. Our hearts, however, have a knack for picking up on the details because of its frequency of intention having a different focus.  The details of an experience captured in our hearts are those meant to leave an impression.  The energy of our hearts can expand or contract based on the smallest detail. Using the power of our mind’s focus to intentionally notice the details which enliven our hearts can enable us to build up the necessary fortitude to withstand the potential contraction of our hearts.  The more muscle we put into our heart’s awareness towards the details that cause it to expand the more courage we can show up with to face the experiences that make us want to shut our hearts down.  It is the detail that can go from being the straw that breaks the camel’s heart to the last match that lights the wick of the last candle in a blacked-out room.