dailydatewithgod

When we look at the intertwined threads of life we see how the fabric is formed.  All too often we take for granted all the threads involved in the fabric and the value of each.  We use the fabric to make garments and involve more hands and lifetimes of experience different than our own.  God encourages us to value each of the threads which make up the fabric of our very existence.  There are the threads of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual which are woven together inextricably to design the fabric we know as our being.  Pausing to notice which threads are more dominant or quiet at any moment of our being is more than a nicety.  It is a chance to get to know the beauty of what makes us who we are.  The same goes when we interact with others.  We often react to people’s fabric by focusing on one thread of their expression.  There is so much more we are not seeing.  It calls upon us if we wish to live in harmony and appreciation with each other to use all the threads of our fabric to get to know all the threads of the fabric of others.

If there is anything that is going to keep me from being able to see it is my limited perspective.  It is not whether or not something is physically within my sight or in my mind of imagination.  It is about my openness to possibilities extending beyond what I can come up with on my own.  We assign particular functions and ideas of how things are expected to be.  When they operate outside of that we are either disappointed or surprised.  We even have a word for something stepping outside its function, malfunction. Learning to notice where the unexpected function presented itself happens within my heart.  It is the core of who we are which can unlock the limitations that our minds place around the functions of things in our life.  We have prescribed functions for things, people, roles, events, and so on.  When something steps outside its expected function we tend to think it is wrong instead of holding the possibility that it is here to show us how we can limit ourselves without realizing it.  We are fascinated when a spy in a movie uses a shoe to make a phone call or a ring to spray a toxin and defeat the villain.  Why is noticing how saying the wrong thing in the wrong environment opened up a conversation that would not have happened had it not been sparked.  Stepping outside the expected function opens up avenues we did not know were there. By paying attention to the nudging of our hearts of when to operate within or outside a function we are surrendering to what might be possible outside our realm of what we know.  God invites us to be surprised by life by being open to the opportunities presented by a malfunction.

So much of what we are often faced with is the overlay of something else.  The element which presents itself as a problem is the piece that comes as a result of something else or is an extension of another piece.  The original cause has wrapped itself around in such a fashion that we are not clear on its origin.  We find ourselves trying to figure out the purpose of the lapel without knowing what coat it is attached to.  We deal with symptoms and effects instead of looking at the causes and conditions.  I know from my experience in recovery, the longer I spend time focusing on the lapel the less effective I will be at determining the purpose of the garment.  So much of what is happening when we interact with others is people showing each other their lapels but not their coats.  It is like trying to dress someone based on their accessories. I am no fashionista but I believe the basic garments are picked first.   Shopping to find a dress to match the shoes always led me on a wild goose chase but then again if I was a fashionista I would probably love the chase. Besides, who is looking at the shoes?  The last time I focused primarily on the shoes was when I wore a uniform to school.  One has to stand out somehow, right?  But I digress.  My primary focus is not on the lapels when I choose a coat or a shirt. They may be super chic but if the shirt is the wrong size or the body of it is not my color, it will not work.  Yet when we deal solely in symptoms and effects we are doing the same.  God invites us to pause and notice from where the lapel of a person’s actions or ideas are extending.  The lapels are the words and actions.  The body of the garment is the purpose behind the words and actions.  It is easy and immediate to react to the lapel.  It takes the wisdom of the breath to pause and notice we are wearing the same garment.

One of the elements I miss in an electronic communication is tone.  There is something powerful about the quality of sound emanating from another person.  Someone’s tone is so much more than the sound of their voice which can perhaps be overlayed by the reader of someone’s message from memory.  The tone conveys the quality of the mood, the body posture, the context in which they are conveying their message, and the energy level of the human being.  I would love it if it could be like it is in the movies when the actual person narrates during the reading of the message but that is one of the differences between movies and life. What actually happens is that I use my tone to read the message.  I know this because when my mood does not match the words of the message I sometimes misread the message. When I pause to notice this I can recognize perhaps why my reaction is disproportionate to the situation.  Given how much communication happens void of tone, it is important that I have an awareness of my own tone.  On my daily dates with God, I am invited to notice the tone with which I enter our date.  God has shown me how to develop an awareness of the difference or similarity between the tone of my mind and the tone of my heart.  It is subtle and yet it speaks to the power of deepening an awareness of the truth of who we are versus how we want to react.  Each moment of communicative interaction in whatever form is an opportunity to be with what our tone is and how we want to convey it to others.

It is convenient to think of things as being one or the other.  It makes sense to our minds if we can categorize something or someone into this file or that file.  The organization of our reality is important to our sense of safety. Part of maturity is realizing that most things which have presence are not one or the other, they are what they are in the moment they are in.  There is much more nuance to aliveness then our minds can grasp.  It is neither light nor dark, it is shades of aliveness.  Our hearts which are ever aware of the reliance upon the flow of life in and out understand the need to make room for the shades of being. It is difficult in a results-driven culture to make room to value the process.  The process is messy and nuanced. The process requires presence in the moment to whatever shade of our experience is showing up.  Our hearts give us the courage to breathe through whatever shade of darkness or light is present.  We build up ideas in our minds that all good and light is the best way to be.  If being present means allowing for some shades of darkness to be there which would we rather? Do we want to not be present with what is and stay only with an expected ideal in our heads or do we want to live in and through an experience fully which is right here, right now?  The shades of darkness that we seemingly want to avoid can often make a turn towards the light sooner than I imagine.  In my experience being with those shades allows them to move through me instead of causing me to hold on to them because I am trying to pretend they are not there.

According to Einstein, our capacity to imagine is very powerful.  He seems like a smart guy.  There is an intentional nature to our imagination which occurs when we begin to explore something like a dream or a desire.  What we don’t often realize is how much we use our imagination unintentionally. Part of how our brain helps us to create meaning and understanding of the world around us is by filling in the gaps.  We are often provided limited information or sight from which to draw something and so our mind fills in the blanks. The fascinating part is that this imaginative capacity kicks in automatically. We do not have to tell ourselves to fill in the gaps, i.e. – make stuff up.  The reverie developed by our minds is constructed based on what we currently have within us.  In other words, we are not likely to create something completely outside our knowledge because we do not have it to draw from.  This wonderful reverie created by our minds has a downside when we take it to be a true fact.  Without noticing what is the driving force behind this capacity what we use to fill the gaps can be flawed.  Our fill-ins on automatic pilot come from our known experience.  God invites us to slow down long enough before we react based on our reverie to determine where the driver of the imagination is coming from.  It is strongly influenced by what we think and feel at the moment. It is why two people witnessing the same thing can recall or not recall certain things being present.  The grander question is are we using the faculties of our hearts to influence the reverie developed in our minds? When we pause to assess what is happening or where our perception is coming from, we make room for the heart’s input on the reverie created.  It is not easy because we are questioning the automatic programming of our minds. Our ego’s feel threatened because we value our ability to fill in the gaps when needed.  Gap filling is essential to our survival.  By inviting the reverie of our hearts into our imagination with intention, we bring in energy which surpasses understanding.  Stepping into reverie with the whole of ourselves opens up possibilities beyond mere survival.

I suppose it is too much of a trope to say that there is always a lot of talking going on but not a lot of listening. A productive discussion requires the presence of both.  Otherwise, it becomes a unilateral discourse equivalent to one of Shakespeare’s soliloquies. I see the value in having a voice and our mind is always ready to voice what it is thinking.  It is like a nonstop chatterbox. What we see in discourse with others mirrors the kind of discourse within ourselves.  There is a lot of talking and not as much listening.  The vehicle of listening requires a space between our thoughts.  God encourages us to call upon the energy of our hearts to take a beat with our thoughts.  The pause asked of us when we breathe in between voicing what we want to say is the space to allow something new to come in. True discourse is a give and take. Our hearts know well the ebb and flow of how things will move in and through us.  God taught me on our daily dates that practicing what it feels like to be connected in my heart allows me to insert a pause when my thinking does not stop.  The discourse that seems to be broken down in the world is the same as the brokenness of discourse between our hearts and minds.  We are meant to be a part of the flow of life.  The flow only exists when we exhale and then inhale and so on.  Yes, it is valuable to make room for our thoughts.  Our hearts are the vehicle that helps us determine which of those thoughts embrace the whole of who we are which then gives us a greater sense of which to voice. The inner discourse then shapes how we handle the discourse on the outside. The breath which awakens our hearts to ourselves is the same one that will make room to listen to what the person across from us is saying.  The pause moment allows us to hear not just the words but receive the energy and intention behind them.  How can we know how to navigate discourse if we are simply taking the words without the full package with which they travel.  Practicing the inner discourse between our minds and our hearts is what enables us to be fully present with whatever discourse is happening outside us without throwing us off course.

I am not sure what feelings and other elements are so easily associated with being fluffy.  On a physical level, the heart is this organ that is working nonstop.  It is pumping the fuel of blood and oxygen to all parts of our system. Some of us take it for granted only when it stops working.  It alerts us by initiating and alert when we need to pay close attention. It sends a warm flood of energy through our bodies when we are touched by something or someone.  This supposedly fluffy and soft element of our existence houses the courage we need to show up and be in our lives. Our hearts guard us against the seemingly overwhelming sensation of fear created by the imaginings of our minds by inviting curiosity. Our hearts are what give us the power to take our lives in stride.  We can handle things that present themselves fluffy or hard when our hearts prompt us to keep breathing.  Our hearts are designed to empower us to move with purpose and passion. Our minds might have us believe that our hearts play a back seat role.  As if because it is not on top it does not matter as much.  Our minds forget that without the cooperation of the heart, it would not get very far.  It is not a battle between our hearts and our minds.  It is the cooperation of the two essential pieces of our operation that allows us to stride through life and leave the imprint of our heartfelt mind on the world around us.

In balancing our understanding of the world we must bring into consideration not only what is happening in the world but what is happening inside of us. It is the interaction of those two forces that form our perceptions and knowledge of ourselves and the world.  To think we can take in what is going on outside of us without bringing into account what is happening inside of us is not real.  We talk about unbiased opinions but there are none.  We talk about unfiltered truth, but there is none.  The moment we take something outside of ourselves, digest it, and then send it out again it has changed.  Ultimately what this calls us to do is proceed with some humility.  The certainty we know of in our minds is not what is conveyed by our hearts.  The carriage of our hearts moves at a slightly slower pace than our minds. It knows we need to digest and filter information to determine how it resonates with the truth of who we are.  We all know this to be true if we are honest with ourselves.  We have been present in the same situation and then give completely different accounts of what happened.  We have listened to someone share an idea and created a completely different perspective from the others who heard the same idea.  The transportation of things through our minds is usually interested in speed.  The transportation of our heart works a bit more like a horse and carriage in a world of planes. God invites us to make room for both options.  We do not have to make the speed wrong to breathe in and out long enough for the carriage to show up. We can simply ask the riders of the plane to go get their baggage while we wait for the carriages to arrive.  We can choose which ideas we want to share from the truth of who we are or the first thing that occurs to us. The choice is ours to make.

In general, we try our best to not be confused or cause confusion.  It is helpful to operate clearly and coherently. Confusion can be distressing and elicit fear because we find ourselves in the unknown.  Often what our hearts understand however is confusing to the mind.  Part of the difficulty in the two working together is often because the language of the heart is working to translate the energy into words.  All the while our mind remains in confusion.  The more practiced we become in keeping open the channel between our hearts and our minds, the more directly the communication will be.  The confusion we feel in our minds will not alarm us to step into fear so quickly.  On my daily dates with God part of what I experience is an opportunity to practice placing my mind in the sureness of the truth of who I am in my heart regardless of what is seemingly chaotic outside of it.  Our minds can learn to connect with the language of our hearts but it is a practice. Just like when learning a new language if we keep defaulting to the language we know because it is more familiar we will not stretch ourselves to become comfortable.  Perhaps what we experience as confusion is merely our minds sticking to the language it knows better.