dailydatewithgod

The more awareness we have of our internal world the more we can decisively engage with the external world.  In any given moment the amount of things vying for our attention is tremendous.  Everyone and everything says that we need to be concerned with it or them. In some ways, life is like a game of Whack-A-Mole.  At least it seems like it to me and perhaps it is slanted by the fact that I work in technology. My workday is filled with flashing lights and dinging noises claiming to be of concern to me.  Add to it the attention grabs from my own personal phone and its a never-ending circus.  I am most grateful for the technological advances and the ways to stay connected to everyone and everything. The challenge it presents is not actually technologically based. The challenge stems from how to determine my level of energy or concern for whatever is vying for my attention.  Most technology is geared to grab you, but just because it is concerned that I am alerted promptly does not mean I need to concern myself with it promptly.  Some things can just wait.  It may seem silly but some of the most peaceful moments of my day are when I hear my phone ping or make another noise and before I reach for it, I pause.  In the moment of pause I check-in by taking a breath connecting me to my heart, and ask: God, does this concern me right now?  Is this something you see as a concern for me enough to take me away from where I am in body and being right now?.  Then I breathe out and either grab the device or continue what I am doing.  It is surprisingly empowering to involve my heart and God in determining my concerns for the moment.  Perhaps it is the power of not doing what my mind says must be done right now. I do this so imperfectly, but I enjoy the freedom when I do remember to check with something aside from my mind, connected to my heart about what I need to concern myself with right now.

Only a small part of what we concern ourselves with is even in our awareness.  Most of us are guided through our day in conversation with ourselves. It happens so automatically we do not even realize it is happening.  It is typically the source of our surprise and confusion regarding other people.  When people act or situations occur in a way that does not match with the confabulating going on in our heads we are surprised.  The funny thing is how is anyone outside our confabulating mind going to know what we are preparing ourselves to experience?  One of the first steps in mindfulness is to notice how much confabulating is actually happening without our being aware of it.  Sometimes we do not know until it comes face to face with reality or we hear ourselves say something out loud. The simple awareness of the confabulating then opens up the doors to not attaching so much importance to it.  Only when we are aware of the confabulating can we evaluate it’s worth. The confabulating is not in and of itself a good or bad thing.  It is a human thing.  Once we recognize its constant presence we can notice when our surprise or disappointment by things actually happening outside our confabulating mind is of our own making.  God invites us to see our confabulating internal processes as one element in who we are.  We can balance the importance of the output of the confabulating by connecting it to our hearts to get clarity on its purpose.  Perhaps the reason for the confabulating on a person or situation is showing me where I am concerned.  Perhaps it is something to act on.  Perhaps it is just keeping busy. The idea of noticing the confabulating is not to drive us crazy but to increase our personal agency and power.  We no more want to spend our lives being tossed around by outside people and circumstances than our confabulating about the outside people or circumstances.

When we are connected to our core, we are less likely to be thrown or pulled off course. The key is knowing how to create a state of equilibrium that will guide us back to our core. It is not a question of veering away from the core of who we are, that is a given.  It is part of the dance of life to go back and forth and turn around.  But if we have do not know how to have balance on our feet, dancing will be difficult. An equilibrium serves as a way to guide us in reconnecting when we get disconnected from ourselves.  Equilibrium is what keeps our minds from buying into the story that we will never find our way back to our core.  Equilibrium is what God invites us to explore when we are looking for a stepping stone back toward the path.  Each person’s equilibrium is different. It is the balm needed to heal the rift of our circumstances and stories which feed the disconnected sense of self. God knows we are never disconnected from our core, but an equilibrium is a way to help us remember. Equilibrium reminds us to ask God, how do you see this?

We like to think that if we know something for certain we will be okay.  It presents an element of safety we believe we need to function well.  What gets us stuck is when we seek certainty in something outside ourselves.  The only certainty is change. The more we hold expectations of precisely how things or people need to be for us to have a sense of certainty the more we set ourselves up for disappointment.  Connecting to the truth of who we are is an unchanging factor that gives us the strongest sense of certainty.  It reminds us that no matter what happens, even if we change and grow in the process we will always be able to pause and connect within.  In the space of our core, we can take whatever uncertain reality is taking place outside ourselves and determine who we are in the midst of it.  It is not faulty of us to think an outside level of certainty will make us okay, it is simply what the world tells us is true.  What we do not realize until we are faced with all the uncertainty that exists, is the world tells us that because it is trying to convince itself of the same thing.  God invites us to connect to the ever-flowing life force within us which guides us on this river of life through whatever uncertainty to the place of certain love always abiding in our hearts.

It is easy to get caught up in doing or being a certain way without any connection to its origins. So much of our behavior and thinking is symptomatic of our upbringing, our environment, and our current surroundings.  You add in the fact that so much of what we actually do is part of a default mode we do not consciously choose and is it any wonder that we end up in life we are often confused by or feel disconnected?  The beauty in all of this is the moment we recognize our disconnected from our hub.  At first realization, it may seem devastating or defeating, but there cannot be a breakthrough without a breakdown.  We look around the world and we see it happening on a global level. So many of the structures and ideas we have relied upon and not questioned are falling apart.  People are beginning to question the status quo.  It can be scary.  It can incite the need to go within and create more control in our own lives.  Our inclination to go within is leading us to freedom but only if we use the propulsion to go within as an opportunity to explore the hub of the truth of who we are in our hearts and not just to hunker down in the dark. What happens outside of ourselves presents an invitation to get to know our insides.  We can make it about the outside, but nothing changes.  It is not until we explore the hub of who we are and get to know it with all its quirks and fascinating and sometimes ugly twists and turns can we know how to handle the outside.  Tending to our hub and reconnecting with the truth of who we are changes the lens through which we see the outside world.  It wasn’t until I faced the hidden and feared parts of myself that I was able to get past it to reach the hub of truth residing in my heart.  Even after concerted effort for 17 plus years of reconnection something outside of me can wake me up to how I have managed to get disconnected again. God has taught me on our daily dates to pause, breathe, and just notice what is happening.  I do not need to apply a filter of judgment, God isn’t.  Instead, I get to acknowledge what happened, notice how it draws me closer to the hub which contains a previously unknown understanding about the nature of love in me, and look again with new eyes as I make any necessary reparations.

Power sometimes seems like an abstract and nebulous concept. Who has it?  Who doesn’t? Does anyone know how they or it got it?  Many of the power structures within which we operate were not ones we had a say in establishing.  There is also the idea that power is a black or white element.  We either have it or we don’t.  Little lip service is given to the layers of discretion that exist within whatever we deem as having power. If we are truly honest with ourselves we give away our power with great ease instead of using the discretion at our disposal.  Discretion requires personal responsibility. Discretion is about choosing the degree to which we assign power to others or institutions and which part of it we keep for ourselves.  The acknowledgment of having discretion is on one level a form of power.  I am face to face with this each time I find myself saying I have to do something.  The truth is aside from dying, there are always options.  I may not like the options I have but I still have the discretion to choose one.  I may want to blame the person, idea, or institution I see as having the power, but then I am limiting my discretion to blame.  I am the one giving the power to something outside myself.  If I am willing to adjust my lens slightly to pay attention to where I can implement any and all the discretion I have at my fingertips, I will see the level of power I do have.  I think often of what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” The truth is no one can make us feel anything without our consent. It is always within our discretion how we feel no matter what power we perceive to be outside ourselves.  It is simply a question of recognition, connection, and willingness to exercise our discretion.

We hold our conceptions of ourselves, others, and all of life in our minds.  We make decisions based on our conceptions.  The limitation that occurs is there is so much we do not know.  There are the things we know and the things we don’t’ know.  There are also things we do not know that we do not know.  How’s that for a tongue twister?  The way we discover what we do not know that we do not know is through relationships.  In living life, we engage in experiences with ourselves and others which shed light on qualities about ourselves.  In essence, one could argue that all of life is about discovering who we are.  We can get stuck in thinking the qualities we have discovered are about or attached to the experience or the person with whom we are interacting but that is not the case. We are the ones who are forming new conceptions.  What we bring to any moment in life is a part of ourselves.  Without realizing it we have a desire to connect to more qualities that make up the whole of who we are.  It makes life one big process of exploration.  We have little idea of what we are capable of given our known qualities.  It isn’t until we are experimenting in this thing called life that we come across qualities of ourselves we did not know we have.  We learn how to use or how not to use them and our conception of ourselves and life grows.  Our heart with its encoded courage longs to show us more of our grand design if we are willing to admit we do not know what we do not know about ourselves. Humility is our guide to discovering the qualities known in our hearts that our minds are dying to know.

We seem to play this dance between light and dark. Perhaps because we literally exist in either light or dark depending on the time of day.   There is a mystery attached to the darkness that there is not in the light.  We suppose our ability to see because of light means we are aware of what we are seeing. Yet, with every light, there is a shadow.  There are also varying shades of light and dark in which we exist. All of these elements show us that what we think we might know we may not know.  Our sight is a powerful sense.  Yet, how is it that those who do not see are better able to pick up on shades than those who can see?  The shade is seen as comfort from the blazing sun or a step into the darkness depending on what situation we are in.  The point is that every shade is valuable.  As children, we paint the world in black and white.  Things are one way or another.  It is an attempt to build a contrast so we have some sense of what works and what doesn’t, what is acceptable and what is not.  Maturity requires us to engage with the different shades of life.  God invites us to get to know the shades of ourselves.  Sometimes our shades pop up out of the darkness without our consent.  Other times we seek out shade within ourselves to get a break from intense light.  The more we are willing to become familiar with our shades, the more we can show up however we are with acceptance.  We cannot be all or nothing.  To think so deprives us of the myriad of possibilities in the universe.  In my experience when I connect to the shades of grey or for that matter shades of any color with my heart, I can see all of life and those around me with the eyes of recognition.  Each time I get snagged by someone or something not being what I think it should be or present itself as I can fall back into the heart space where there is room for shades of less than or more than is acceptable.  Stepping into acceptance of shade leads me to more peace than holding up my black and white ideal of what it, you, or I should be in this moment.

One of the coolest sounds that catch us by surprise is an echo.  I remember the first time I noticed it standing in an empty church or being in a canyon.  It is kind of funny to hear ourselves coming back at ourselves.  We tend to think of echoes as only sounds.  An echo is a reflection of sound energy but it is part of a larger experience of reverberation. Almost literally our energetic vibes replaying. If we think about how much energy we are emitting at any given moment the reality is we creating an echo of more than just sound.  What is it we want to come back to us about us?  What kind of energetic footprint do we want to send out before us?  What kind do we want to receive from others? When we are connected to the truth of who we are we recognize the echo because we know it is us.  When we see people imitate us we get a glimpse of how what we are sending out in our echo is what we want.  Sometimes it is concrete and specific to a circumstance.  Yet most of it is happening on a level that requires a deeper connection to what is going on within us. If we want the echo of our sound and other kinds of energy to come back to us as a reflection of the truth of who we are, we need to first connect to it ourselves.  Taking the time to pause and check-in is what God has taught me on our daily dates of prayer and meditation.  Creating a space in my life where it is acceptable to say what is, remind myself of who I truly am, and with curiosity explore the elements of myself I do not or perhaps do not want to know.  God is ready to hold the space where we can get to know ourselves whenever we are.  God knows our true echo is love but we need time to get to know it about ourselves.  Taking the time is what will cultivate an echo we look forward to hearing.

I have never surfed but there is something lifelike about it.  We start our day and we look out at how the waves are coming and going and we choose which ones to ride.  Often without knowing it, we encounter elements of it throwing us off course.  Then we have options.  We can ride it, we can abandon it or we can fight it. At least we can attempt each of those. We like to think we want smooth sailing but we know somewhere deep inside of us resonates with the undulations of life.  There is a certain rhythmic familiarity to the undulation.  Our hearts create wavelike energy flowing through and extending energetically from our bodies.  While there is hopefully a steady beat, we all know how much we stop and notice when something peaks or stops our hearts.  There is a skip in the energy or something causes us to catch our breath. The curves and elevations of our heart’s rhythm like the undulations of life’s surprises remind us we are alive.  They engage us to connect with the power and courage of our hearts to face our lives without just smoothly making it through.  It is the undulations of life that open our eyes to what we are capable of.  Our minds might tell us it is better to avoid certain waves because we don’t know where they will lead. Our hearts are ready to ride them and show us how much the undulation will awaken us to the truth of who we are.