dailydatewithgod

In the corporate world, interpersonal skills are often couched under the term “soft skills.” I find it funny that the term soft and therefore less than is associated with the courageous and sovereign task of taking ownership of oneself and be conscious of the impact one makes on the world.  That somehow by buying into the illusion that who we are is only what we think and letting ourselves be run by our genes and our automatic programming is good because it makes us hard and tough.  For some strange reason being away from psychology and how our mind impacts more than the matter outside of us that we can touch and feel is seen as soft.  Somehow over time, the psychological and spiritual or non-physical dimensions of humanity split off into the realm of religion and non-scientific pursuits.  We created this idea of body versus mind versus spirit.  As if we can split ourselves up into these categories.  All of the world we see the consequences of the illusion that we are split into different selves.  We believe we can actually split up the part of us that thinks from the part of us that feels and forget that they originate from the same space.  We are born whole but quickly split ourselves and our lives into different categories and realms. We then decide some of the categories of our split nature are more important than others and we place emphasis on them. Is it any wonder that the world is full of people who are more interested in maintaining how they are split off from others than how we can connect with one another in our wholeness?  On my daily dates with God, I am invited into a space of silence with my whole self.  I have days when I feel split into pieces and have no idea how to get to wholeness.  Those are the moments God takes my hand and brings it to my heart.  I am guided back to my breath which engages my body, my mind, and my soul.  God knows me as whole and desires for all of us to see ourselves as a whole person connected to a whole world. Perhaps healing the splits in the world can start with our breath as well.

We take for granted that what we are experiencing is what is happening.  We rarely quantify it as one way to experience what is happening.  It is in our nature to think others experience things the way we do, why wouldn’t they?  We also assume that if others could just perceive it the way we do, all would be well in the world.  Any conversation with another person or hearing a series of eyewitness testimonies that contradict each other will wake us up to the illusion of our thinking this way.  It is not bad that we do this, we are not wrong for it.  It is just a matter of being aware of it so we do not fall for it.    Making a practice of awareness about the preciousness with which we hold our own perceptions as the truth will keep us from finding ourselves unable to fathom why other people experience things differently.  Furthermore, if we are not wrong because of it, then by extension, neither is someone else.  We can move from a place of not being able to fathom another’s perception, to a desire to fathom why they experience the way they do. An interest in the fathomable nature of another’s perspective is curiosity at work.  It is a stance that says we believe we can learn from another person.  A genuine interest in the fathomable nature of another’s perspective is at the heart of a conversation.  We do not engage with others because we want to convince them how their ideas are unfathomable.  We engage because we generally want to wrap our minds and hearts around why or how their perception is fathomable.

Something is mesmerizing occurs when we watch the animation. We see human lifelike qualities given to drawings.  We marvel at how such non-human characters come to life simply because we have created images and made them move as though they are alive. Literal animation is something we witness outside of ourselves but there is an animation happening within us as well.  It is not typically comprised of colorful characters who display human-like qualities.  Instead, it encompasses all the elements of our aliveness stemming from the energy within.  We are often not aware of it until we experience its absence.  When we are moved by this animation, we are present to the world without much thought or effort on our part. Some people experience it as being in alignment with something greater than themselves. Others describe it as being a flow state.  The inner animation seems to stem from a space inside of us that does require us to think it into being.  It is the expression of who we are in the moment.  Given our different states, this animation can express itself in all forms.  It is both positive and negative.  It is as though who we are experiencing ourselves to be at our core creates expression.  We can learn to tap into this animation by becoming aware of our inner states.  Energetically we animate where we are in the moment which can contradict what we are saying or doing to intentionally animate ourselves to the world.  In other words, are we being who we truly are or who we think we should be? When the two are in alignment there is little thought involved and it is powerful.   Some might describe it as a time when they are embodying a character. The question is whether or not the character is our true nature or one we are pretending to be. The animation is the aliveness of our being.

As we head into the holiday season I am mindful of giving.  We are giving and receiving all the time but often we are not aware of it.  We tend to think of both of those concepts as completely matter dependent but we are exchanging energy back and forth with everyone and everything we encounter. Essentially we make a contribution to life either consciously or unconsciously.  A good guide to determine what kind of contribution we are making is by noticing the contributions we make to ourselves.  Is our inner dialogue and perspective one of kindness or criticism?  Is our inner filter one of a positive or a negative slant?  The contribution we make is ourselves.  Our mental, emotional, and energetic states shape our contributions. Balancing what our mind intends to contribute with what our heart can contribute is a way to find balance.  It is not about always being one state or the other.  It is about being honest with ourselves so we are of our contribution.  Sometimes we want to be a contribution in a particular intended way, but either the situation or the context does not require it of us or anyone.  In those moments do we fit ourselves to make a contribution in a way that can be received or do we force our idea of contribution to the experience?  Are we interested in contributing in a way that we feel defines us or are we interested in being a contribution because who we are is a gift?

We like to think we do not have the number of inherent biases that we do.  We fancy ourselves as not affected by general social biases but given how biases are the things we are usually blind to we are clearly in fantasy.  In the grand scheme of things, I think we are better off admitting how unaware we are of our personal and cultural biases.  At least from there, we can move from a known place of unknowing.  By taking the shame out of having the biases to begin with we can explore them and determine how much we are impacted by them. We create a neutral space from which to move into learning more about how they motivate us to action.  If we are busy denying their existence, then we do not have the energy left to get what is beneath them.  Our biases were most likely formed based on given experiences and meanings we made about those experiences at a time in our lives when we did not yet know there were other options. By approaching our biases with neutrality we honor the time in our lives when they made sense while simultaneously seeing how they may or may not apply to the current situation. Neutrality gives us the space to perceive our biases with the lens of the heart.  In my experience, I am not able to move through something when I am carrying judgment about it.  I need to look at it through the lens of neutrality which has no judgment or shame or interest in conviction.  Our hearts know the breathing space of neutrality in a way that blows our minds if we let it.

It makes sense that we are drawn to things we like. There is an internal tug when we experience an attraction.  It is the force of energy at work.  By default one would think if we just moved always in the direction of our attractions life would go wonderfully.  Yet, energy also is about opposites attracting. There are many variables at play when it comes to how energy moves, even in how it is shaped and the changes in shape.  We place a lot of value on our first conscious reaction to something.  There are pluses and minuses to basing our decisions on our first conscious experience of something or someone.  On the positive side, we do not spend a lot of time thinking it over and we can get straight into the action.  On the negative side, we do not often recognize that what we are reacting to is not actually what is in front of us but what is behind us.  We come with a set of filters from our past experiences that taint whatever it is we are experiencing.  At best, it is a mixed bag.  When deciding whether to go with the first conscious reaction, it is helpful to consider the context and frame of mind.  Even going with the first directional movement of energy requires an awareness.  We may also not recognize that while our conscious reaction to something seems to indicate movement towards the point of attraction, our unconscious reaction may be very different.  Our minds get very chatty and we often override one or the other because we talk ourselves into or out of it.  For people like me who can get stuck in analysis paralysis, this can become a never-ending loop.  This is where the power of our hearts can be our ally.  Just pausing to take a breath and awaken our hearts allows us to take a deeper and perhaps an unseen perspective on what is happening.  Ultimately we want our movements to action to come from a place of wholeness.  If we make that first choice using only our minds as our guide and our heart is not online, we may find ourselves stopped somewhere in the process.  It is not about making the perfect choice of whether to move towards or away from our attractions, it is about choosing from our whole selves as best we can.  Either way, we can learn from whatever comes.  Our mind may tell us we have to get it right, but the heart speaks the language of learning.  When we are open to know ourselves as ones who are here to learn and grow in love we can move towards or away from our attractions with courage and strength.

In a world in which seems to have a war between the value of doing versus being, chances get a bad rap.  They are relegated to the level of trying which is seen as half-hearted and uncommitted action. I wholeheartedly agree that decisions to take action with intention are important and productive.  Chances are the avenue through which we can get to the point of decision.  Sometimes we have to give something or someone a chance without being sure whether or not it will work before we can put the full force of a decision behind it.  Chances are like the mini-decision before the intentional decision.  We will all have experiences that will burn and bruise us.  We will want to withdraw from life and protect ourselves.  We may let ourselves go into faulty thinking that unless something is a sure outcome, there is no point in giving it a chance. Yet the playfulness of our hearts which knows we have the courage to walk through whatever consequence of that chance, guides us differently.  The courage of our hearts knows of second, third, and four chances.  Our heart’s energy has within it the capability of getting back up again after a fall.  Our minds want to measure our success by the outcome alone.  Our hearts see all the chances we will have if we are willing to step into our full being as we are doing.

While it is understandable that we have a reluctance when we encounter something foreign to us, it doesn’t make sense that we use that as a reason to make it wrong.  The world is full of contrasts.  Even if we are reticent to explore, we can appreciate whatever contrast we encounter as having value.  Whether it is a person or an idea, just because we do not agree does not mean we are right and they or it are wrong.  We seem to vilify the contrast out of fear for our survival, but since when did giving someone’s idea value equal our death?  It is our ego that fears death.  However, if we remember to bring our heart into the decision-making process we might learn something from the contrast.  It may inform something about ourselves we did not see until we witnessed the contrast.  The contrast is not the enemy our resistance to it can be. Contrast can help us clarify things for us.  We might have a better sense of why we believe something if we allow ourselves to bear witness to the value of a contrasting belief.  No one is saying we must adopt the contrasting belief.  This world is full of people and ideas who see and experience things in contrast to what we experience.  Our hearts remind us to start off by being open to the value of the contrast however it shows up in the same way we value what we believe and who we are.

If we want to know why we see things the way we do we need to be tuned into to our states.  We like to think that what is going on outside of us is the cause of what we are thinking and feeling.  But ask anyone who has ever been in love how wonderful everything seems to be.  It states in the Talmud, “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”  It seems abrupt at first concept but as we allow it to seep into our understanding we realize we are empowered by it.  If we know how to change our state, we know how to change what we are seeing and experiencing.  We no longer have to fall for the illusion that we are a victim of circumstance or what other people are doing or not doing.  We may be more comfortable giving away our sovereignty but comfort does not always equal freedom.  So many of our states are a result of habitual patterns and we fear to step out of them because we know them well and do not have to use too much brainpower to be in them. However, we can even change the state through which we view fear.  I used to make myself wrong for being fearful.  It was only through my daily dates with God and living a life no longer enslaved by my addictions that I began to see fear is just one state of mind.  I can choose to hold on to it, let it go, look at it from a different angle, adopt a turn of phrase which empowers me, ask a friend how they see it, invite God to show me how she sees it, and so on.  Whatever I do is my choice and I can stop living at the effect of others and situations. The gift of knowing we can change our states with something as simple as a deep breath is living as the empowered beings God created us to be.