dailydatewithgod

Sometimes we find ourselves facing situations that we thought we planned for but are not at all what we planned.  Actually, I think most of life is that way.  The trick is to pay close attention to what plans are vital and which ones are nonessential.  We get very used to how we do things and what we expect from people and situations to such a degree that we do not realize many things we consider vital are actually optional or even unnecessary.  Finding a balance between the vitals of our heart and the vitals of our mind are a step in separating out the vitals from the nonessentials.  So much of what we think we want is not because we want the actual thing or situation.  What we want are what we will feel as a result of having the thing or experience.  If can learn to identify what it would feel like for our plans to go as expected we can notice what vitals we really need.  Having time on my daily dates with God to slow down enables me to notice what I am thinking and feeling.  Awareness of the vitals we need for the survival of our heart and mind makes room for us to relax into situations where things are not going to according to plan or what we expected.

Have you ever noticed when you try to squash something down it expands?  Or when you try to hide something it manages to pop out and be seen?  It is as if the very act of trying to get rid of something that is not meant to be gotten rid of only amplifies it presence.  We face this conundrum when we ignore either parts of ourselves or issues in our lives that we do not like.  Our inclination is to pretend it is not there, hope no one notices, or think it will just go away.  Yet somehow none of that happens.  We get these indications of things that come in whispers and we swish them away like a tickle in our ear.  Then it comes a little louder or in an experience in front of our eyes and we chalk it up to coincidence or blame the other people involved. This may go on for a while.  In my experience, until it becomes painful, we keep pushing it aside or think it has nothing to do with us.  Until our way of being gets in our own way enough or we admit these experiences are telling us something about ourselves that is of value, the amplification will continue to increase.  Amplified until we are not able to ignore them.  It is not that we are stupid or slow or we are not as enlightened as others who are willing to be woken up.  Sometimes those parts of ourselves are meant to be amplified.  We all have parts or sides of ourselves we would rather not befriend.  That is, until our heart extends the amplified invitation that cannot be ignored.   No one that I have come across is void of not so pleasing elements.  Bill Wilson wrote, “In everything good there is a little bit of bad, and in everything bad there is a little bit of good.” We are not meant to be one thing or the other.  The real question is do we embrace the amplifications of the parts of ourselves we are less than interested in getting to know or do we continue to hide? Our hearts call on us to embrace the whole of ourselves.  Everything about us and the universe is changing.  We are capable of making adjustments and if we wait until the call for adjustment is amplified loud enough to motivate the adjustment then so be it.  The level of amplification is up to us.  As we get to know ourselves better and open up to the idea there is nothing so wrong about us that infiltrates the core of our being, we may become more sensitive to less intense amplifications.  We can let go of the idea there is something wrong with us because a less than perfect part of ourselves keeps surfacing. Regardless of the level of, we have the opportunity us to embrace all amplifications as the catalysts they are.

Our inclination to stay in the familiar is inherent in our survival needs.  Once we experience something or create a system that can be maintained without extra brain power or consciousness needed we stick with it.  We stay with what is existing because it does not bring about potential fear, unless, of course, it is threatened.  As evolving humans who have the capability to contemplate our existence we are slowly beginning to see how this whole being human works.  We are not machines, as much as it may sound like it.  We are a system.  A living, breathing, growing, changing, and evolving expression of life. Given all the things we have going on just within our physical bodies, it is actually mind-blowing all that goes into existing.  We would never do anything outside of that if we had to be conscious of all that goes on.  The existing systems we have in place ensure we will survive and this is a very good thing.  Unlike other living things, we have the capacity to expand our awareness outside of our physical reality.  It is both a privilege and an innate curiosity.  Expanding our existing awareness is what our heart calls us to.  We could stay in simply focusing on not being present and survive but each of us seems to have an inclination at some point in our lives to move beyond survival.  Why else would we continue to learn?  Why else would we look for ways to contribute to each other?  Why else would we create ideas and beliefs around the world we live in?  Why else would we choose to challenge ourselves to be or do more?  Expanding our definition of existence for ourselves is an individual choice. Do we answer the call of our hearts or put it off?  Do we pay attention when our existing systems begin to break down or do we put our heads in the sand and hope it just gets better.  When we choose to balance our heart’s call for what it means to exist with what our mind knows existence to be we expand and become connected to something more than ourselves.  If we were meant to do it all on our own I somehow think we would not be on a planet with so many people.

One of the many things developed from my daily date with God is the re-connection to my sense of creating. We were designed to be contriving.  It is not about trying to defy reality, it is about choosing which perspective to take.  When we link into the energy of our hearts, we may find designs we did not know were possible according to our mind.  Our ability to contrive a perspective on a situation or experience is vast.  We do not often tap into it because we buy into someone else’s perspective.  It seems easier to go along with the status quo than put our energy into contriving a new perspective.  It is basic fundamentals of survival.  Our brains are not interested in going against our programming because it requires energy and we may need that energy for something more crucial at a later time.  God invites us to regularly spend time in the space of our hearts and discover an untapped energy which has space to be contriving.  We already attach meaning to everything.  Why not contrive the meaning to something useful?  Much of our default is not bad, it just different from the default of our heart’s perspective.  Any time I pause, take a breath, and connect with my heart, my eyes see my life differently.  Just in the bothering to breathe in and out provides new life, literally.  The more I witness it in myself, the more I can believe in my contriving ability to make the most of whatever situation I am in.  At the very least, I am reminded of the creative nature of God to provide a continual invitation to pause and be.

In the world of adult learning there is emphasis placed on knowing what the WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) is for one’s audience. If you can know what their WIIFM is then you will more readily capture and keep the attention of the learner.  It is a concept used broadly and certainly has merit.  We tend to approach life in this way.  We look to people and situations to determine what they have to offer us.  We hold the expectations that people or circumstances are designed to meet our needs.  If reading this in black and while makes us sound rather selfish and self-centered all I can say is the truth hurts.  Now, it is not necessarily all bad.  It is important to have what we need to survive.  The challenge is moving out of survival into a place of thriving and ultimately contribution.  The paradoxical nature of the universe is when we go into a situation focused on what we have to offer instead of what it is offering us, we get are offered more.  This does not mean offering at the sake of our survival but finding ways outside of that which enable us to be an offering to whatever person we encounter or situation we are in.  An offering is not necessarily something tangible.  Since life happens in multiple elements, sometimes the most profound offering we can provide is our attention in the moment.  It is something we have to give, if we choose. All it costs us is taking our attention away from ourselves.  In recovery I learned offering service is the quickest way to get out whatever negative head space I find myself in.  I stop and ask myself, what am I offering myself in this moment by listening to the harsh self-criticism versus what can I be offering to someone else who needs a smile or a look in the eye?  The experience of my heart has shown me when I am offering my presence and attention outside of myself, my mind cannot simultaneously continue on about what I am doing wrong.  My offering to another ends up being my gift.

I was reminded recently of my choices.  I was reading about how we have these experiences we find inconvenient or troublesome.  Our initial inclination is to avoid them, get out of them as fast as possible, or hope they go away.  Who likes discomfort really?  I am not a big fan myself as much as I know it is a catalyst for growth.  The spiritual text reminded me, the reader, of how each rub is an opportunity to practice my kit of spiritual tools.  This is not the first time I have come across this concept.  I had a spiritual mentor years ago who reminded me regularly that life is a gift or a chance to grow.  She emphatically pointed out that in the moments it did not feel like a gift, I was experiencing an opportunity to grow.  When I am in a good space, I see this view from my heart’s eyes.  The issue is I default to the opportunities according to just my mind.  Those include the aforementioned of avoidance, speeding through, or hoping it disappears.  The opportunity presented by my heart is always hopeful.  It reminds me no matter what I am experiencing it is a chance to see myself as well as the other person in a different light.  It is an opportunity to be reminded at the very least that more is happening than the eyes can see.  God invites us and seemingly challenges us in our moments of discontent or discomfort, to pause, connect with our hearts and see what opportunity is right in front of us.  While I may be inclined to chastise myself for not remembering this more often, this too is not how my heart sees it.  God gently guides me to again, pause, connect with my heart and see the opportunity to view myself as someone who is willing to pause and see it differently.  There are endless opportunities available to us if we pause and connect with our hearts.

We are all spurred on in life by something.  Whether it is some inherent biological drive or a specific intention to live fully we are endowed with the stimulation needed to engage in this life.  The capacity and the desire to live is innate in our design.  It may seem hard to imagine given how many people think about suicide or who express an interest in giving up when they find themselves in dire circumstances.  The stimulation of life is more than just the physical.  How many people relate to the idea of loved ones who have passed on but are still with them?  There is something to life and the connection they had with each other which is the stimulation to carry on the relationship in some form. Even our memories serve as stimulation to move us forward. All of life cycles through.  Some elements stimulate life by passing on, others by starting new.  Every in breath, must have an out breath if we are to keep breathing.  When we think about the stimulations in our lives moving us to take one more breath, where to we think they come from?  The drive of the heart keeps life in motion.  The heart stimulates the continuance of life on all levels.  It is not about some weird perspective on life to agree there is more than the physical.  The physical may be the most obvious or easiest to see but it is not a physical reality which stimulates us to connect to each other on an emotional level. Is it not a physical reality calling us to acknowledge a greater presence at work in the forces in the universe.  The light of life continues to exists despite how many things come and go in our lifetimes and beyond.  The stimulation of life’s light is something in which we all play a part.  Sometimes when I have experienced moments of darkness, I cannot see any light in me to stimulate any kind of life or motivation.  It is in those moments I have been touched by someone else who has the stimulation of life present in them or is able to see it and acknowledge it in me.  We are all called within our hearts to play a role in the stimulation of life. Sometimes it is by giving, other times by receiving.  Every in breath, must have an out breath if we are to play our part in the stimulation of life.

We all have distinctive talents and desires.  We are all equipped with particular inclinations and interests.  We readily accept this about ourselves and others yet we do not know where they come from.  They seem to be inherent within us.  In the same way we are drawn to particular colors, flowers, music for no particular reason we also posses particular person styles.  Our personality styles indicate things about our proclivity towards negative or positive default perspectives as well as comfort level around other people.  All of these elements of ourselves are a mixture of nature and early life experience.  Why is it then we are bothered when someone seems particularly negative but are not bothered that the prefer orchids to roses or the color purple to green?  Our caliber for all the various things we experience in life is in large part due to what we have already been exposed to in our lives.  Getting to know our own caliber for all the elements of our lives begins with not seeing them as right or wrong.  My caliber is not better or worse depending on someone else’s in the same way my interest is not better or worse because I am more drawn to pine trees versus palos verde trees.  We tend to blame people for the caliber because we see it as possible to grow and change it.  It is, but only if we are interested or are motivated to do so. Rarely does contempt of one’s character motivate that person to change.  The level at which we hold the caliber of another human being in dislike corresponds to level of contempt we hold for a similar caliber in ourselves.  Other people may be better at showing their particular caliber but if it was not something also living in us, we would not recognize it.  The fact we are bothered by it, tells us more about ourselves than the other person.  It is too easy to blame people for their character not being what we want it to be.  The heart driven initiative takes courage because it calls us to take a look inside ourselves and assess our own caliber of the trait we see in someone else.  When we make peace with our own caliber, we are not disturbed by another person’s.

Sometimes I forget I have a choice.  My adopted character defense of being a victim kicks in.  I do not realize I can ask questions and feel no sense of personal agency.  Gratefully, with God’s help it is not my predominant mode of being anymore.  These days I get tripped up by it in more subtle ways.  I am humble and grateful when I notice it.  I work on not making myself wrong for it, instead I notice it and exchange it for another way of being.  I see it when I do not like the choice I have.  In a situation with another person when they are behaving in a way that does not make it easy for me to interact with them, I can choose to either accept them as they are, say something or remove myself from the person and or situation, or adjust my expectations.  Exchanging the perspective that there is nothing I can do about it or seeing acceptance as defeat does nothing to bring about a personal sense of agency.  It is humbling to accept reality as it is, people as they are, and let go of the ideas we have about how we think it should be.  It is exchanging the idea that I have the better perception of the situation and I know what is right with being in the reality of how things are.  Exchanges in perspective from my thinking to God’s thinking come only when I am willing to trust I will be okay no matter what.  Exchanging my thinking with thinking of my heart means I know the core of who I am will not be irreversibly damaged by what I am experiencing.

I noticed the other day when I was driving to work things were slowed down because there was construction going on.  First it was road repair and then it was a new building for which the big cement trucks came in to lay the foundation.  I was irritated because it meant I was not going to get to work early as I had planned.  I was bothered because it was seemingly in my way.  I began to wonder if this is my default disposition when it comes to my own personal construction or others.  Life is about construction.  Things fall apart and they get rebuilt.  Things come down and then go up.  We lay new foundations, we repair the roads, and everything is in a constant state of flux.  Our own construction messes with our timelines.  We like the end product but the process to get there is kind of irritating. What about those who are involved in the construction?  I bet the construction workers like their job or are at least grateful to have a way to earn a living.  I sometimes think the guys holding up the slow down sign is there to send a greater message. I think of them as construction angels sending messages from beyond (when I am not in a hurry, that is).  Are not all those elements of construction valuable?  As valuable as the end product?  Will I appreciate the end product as much if I do not know what it took to construct it?  Our hearts remind us to see value and purpose in the building and creating of our lives. Each end product whether ourselves, a new building or a smooth road are the result of all the people and things that led up to it.