dailydatewithgod

Why do they say, be careful what you wish for?  It doesn’t make any sense.  The very fact of hoping for something implies you have a desire for something and a belief it will come to fruition.  Is it because we often do not realize what goes along with what we wish?  Is it because we do not really know what our desires are?  It is one of those untested expressions used over time which have lost their origin or meaning.  My guess is at some point in history, someone made a wish and when it came true, it was not what they truly wanted.  Perhaps it was some important person and so henceforth in time the expression is used to prevent it from happening again.  How many other expressions do we have which guard us against a downside? The reality of life is all things have good and bad within them.  All people are both good and bad. There are positive and negative forces at play in the universe.  We need both.  Why do we try to constrict ourselves so as to guard against something we cannot guard against.  Even not having wishes has a down side.  Why not allow our souls to breath and pay attention to our heart’s desires?  Why not wish for something, allow it to come true and then decide what if it is something you want to keep, give away, or grow from?  God invites us to change the expression: Wish for what you want your heart to grow from today.

We look for signs of certainty all the time to indicate we are in the right.  We love being right.  It makes us feel safe.  It makes us feel like we have some semblance of control.  In a world that is very uncertain plus our knee jerk propensity for anxiety this makes sense.  However, how can we be sure we are interpreting the messages we receive correctly?  Is it important to know we are understanding correctly or to just know there are messages being sent to us all the time.  One thing I have learned through my daily date with God is rarely is the message a literal interpretation of what I am called to learn.  While I spent many years running from and denying my feelings, they seem to be the indicators of something within me.  I can learn more about a situation’s potential for growth by paying attention to the feelings arising from a message than the actual form of the message.  Often we have messages or ideas attached to the feelings themselves.  In recovery the way it is expressed is life is about the process, not the content.  A message can come in the form of a situation, a person, a literal message, or even an internal experience.  It is not about becoming victims to our feelings but using them for the indicators they are.  Indicators of  from the messages of our feelings provide something to work with that transcends physical form.

Being an outcome based society we focus on how much we get done.  We get frustrated when something is not yet done.  We give ourselves a hard time when we are working to get something done and it is taking longer than expected.  We base our sense of worth on how much we have completed in our lives.  There is a wholeness to completion we are drawn to.  If something is complete it is not broken.  But how much do we value the process of completion?  How important is it to us to give worth to each of the elements contributing to completion?  How quickly do we gloss over the parts of something until they are put in place for the complete product?  How quickly does something that is complete become the part of something else needing to be completed?  It can become an endless cycle of never reaching wholeness.  Yet our hearts find wholeness along the way.  In the process of completion each of the elements needed to play a role are whole in and of themselves.  Just because this day is not yet complete does not mean this moment is not complete. Our hearts remind us with each breath that our inhale and exhale are the surest sign of our completion in the moment.

The world we live in thrives on having the answer.  The people who are in authority are expected to know what is going to happen.  We give them less credit when they are not clear on what the outcome will be.  Holding them to such a ridiculous standard does nothing to keep each person from walking their own fine line of ambiguity.  The reality is there is a lot of uncertainty about any number of things.  No matter how many algorithms, formulas, patterns we come up with there is always the unexpected factor.  When we fear ambiguity it is called uncertainty.  When we embrace ambiguity it is called surprise.  I wish I could say I am one of those people who can walk through an ambiguous situation always keeping in mind how it may turn out better than I fear it will.  Each time I experience ambiguity, which is daily, I get the chance to practice bringing my heart to a situation.  If who I am in the core of who I am can never be undone, then whatever I face in my life only shows up to show me more of who I am.  I need God’s eyes for this because the one thing I am not ambiguous about is God’s always and ever-ready view of me as whole and complete no matter what I am facing.

For some reason the idea of normal is held out as the ideal.  Like we are all machines expected to operate the same way. While there are some aspects of ourselves that can be considered the same, most elements adhering to the idea of normal have a range.  In medicine it is understood as within normal limits or a range of accepted numbers or markers.  But when we use the idea of normality in society we hold it up as the only way to be and things that are considered outside of it are abnormal.  How often do we stop to look closely at what we consider normal.  Is a standard and who sets the standard for what is normal?  At what point are variations okay versus abnormal.  So much of what we are seeing in our world today flies in the face of normality.  Perhaps it is an idea whose time has come.  While it can be helpful to use the concept of normal as some sort of baseline just because something falls outside of it does not automatically make it abnormal.  The better question would be abnormal as compared to what or whom?  And when we determine what or whom, the question is who decided that what or whom is the normal for all?  At the end of the road of our life in this physical body, we do not get to take anyone or anything with us.  It is us with ourselves and for some whatever they understand as a guiding force in their lives.  While I spent a lot of my life and still get caught up in trying to be normal, I have come to make greater peace with being resonant with what is normal according to my heart. What is normal for me comes back to what I find in my daily relationship with God.  Sometimes what is normal for me on one day can be different for what is normal on another day.  We are beings who grow and change no matter how much we may fight it.  Why not keep the fight within our normal than expend useless energy trying to be someone or something else?

The variation and novelty we seek our in our lives gives us a spark inside to wake us up.  It is why children marvel at everything they come across the first time.  It is all new. But how do we see things new that we have looked at for years?  One of the benefits of a daily date with God is the opportunity to open the eyes of my heart to see things I have looked at with my eyes for a long time.  The adroitness developed from a mindfulness practice makes space to see things from a new angle.  It is a mixture of the intentional focus on gratitude and the skill of pausing.  Practicing it over and over again sets the adroit nature of a contemplative eyes for life.  This is the energy of the heart.  Appreciation for the beauty, mess, strength, courage, and fragility are the adroit nature of the heart we discover within ourselves when we take the time to do so.  Sometimes we get there because we are in so much pain we are desperate to discover the adroitness of our hearts.  Most people I know in recovery from some form of addiction like myself would tell you it is the pain that led them to a place where they could learn the skill of opening their heart.  I would not have chosen that way for myself necessarily but life happens.  It is not the cards we are dealt, it is how we play them.  I am grateful for the opportunity to see that within me are these adroit characteristics of my heart like patience, depth, warmth, light, joy, sacredness, and so on.  The more I witness them happening through me the more I can embrace them as the truth of who I am and make my heart more and more adroit.  Prior to walking this path of newness in life, I would have told you the best way to go is to protect my heart and keep it locked down.  In lock down mode the only adroit characteristic it would develop is surviving in darkness and seeing only darkness. Darkness is not the path of our hearts so I would be living in contrast to the truth of who I am.

Okay, I am admitting it up front. I love wearing flip-flops.  This works out well for me living in southern California and I am grateful.  After work and on the weekends, the stockings and closed toed shoes are nowhere to be found.  My feet are free to breathe and move. Besides, what is a cute pedicure without someone noticing? (Do I sound like a girly girl or what? . . . its one of the things I am learning to embrace about myself.)  Within the idea of flip-flops or reversal is the universal theme of change.  When we have room to breathe and move we see the advantage of all sides of the experience.  Flip-flops do have a base and a strap keeping them tethered to your feet.  They are not quite like bare feet although one does feel the earth more readily when wearing them.  What might the experience be of our lives if we opened ourselves up to seeing and feeling from the flip side?  Perhaps flip-flopping is less about not being grounded or knowing what you stand for and more about standing for the possibility of seeing things on all sides.  Over the course of our lives, whether we admit it or not, we change.  We may feel very strongly against something at one stage of our lives and for it at another stage.  The real test of where we stand with our values is not whether it is the opposite of what it once was but what do we do with it.  Flip-flopping gives the impression of being a flake but what if it is being flexible?  If all one does is flip-flop and never make a decision that is a different story.  Flipping is more like making room to breathe and let the our heart’s perspective show us a different light.  It is humbling to admit we are now open to something we had previously closed off but being able to do so without being labeled a flake or spineless means we can safely make room for our hearts to show us over time what our eyes might need time to soften and see.  Maybe it is the humility that in the moment feels like the flop.  God invites us to take a chance in a moment when we stop and breathe and consider the flip side to our story, our perspective, and our experience.  The call of our hearts is for our eyes to relax, breathe, and be willing to be surprised by life and by what it is here to teach us even if it causes us to flip-flop our perspective.

Without realizing it we make a lot of assumptions about life.  We take for granted that not everyone sees things the way we do or that we are seeing things as they actually are. We find ourselves surprised when others express their understanding of a situation which is completely different from our own. Then we take it one step further and determine we are seeing it as it actually is and they are not.  We try to convince others of our way of seeing things and get wedded to the idea we are right and they are wrong. This creates a pattern of making the other person no longer a person but their idea.  Who they are is no longer just another human being with a different idea.  Some how they morph into the entity which embodies everything that seeing things incorrectly.  It sounds dramatic but it is how we lose perspective on what is actually happening.  What is actually happening is we are seeing things from the perspective of where we are.  We are both seeing correctly from our particular perspective.  To not get stuck in potential conflict requires us to be willing to see where the other person is coming from.  In all actuality we may see it the same way they do if we see it from the other person’s eyes.  Actuality is not about right versus wrong.  Actuality is about where we are coming from.  When we want to see the world as others see it, we need to connect to them with our hearts.  Hearing their words or being told their ideas still provides a limited opportunity to know what it is like from their perspective.  This is why arguing usually does not lead to peace. Actuality calls us to connect with the heart of another and see them as made of the same stuff doing the best they can with what they have within themselves.

There are times when we find ourselves at an intersection we did not plan for and are not sure which direction to go in.  We try to the look for the path but all we see are points along the way.  The points may not seem to have a particular trajectory and we may see only one.  Because the point gives us some sense of direction, we move towards it.  Then there are the times when we encounter a point that seemed to move the closer we got to it. We find ourselves wondering what is the point of the journey if we never seem to reach a destination. Reconciling our need for an end to justify the means we find ourselves settling for reaching specific points along the way.  What if the path is the point?  What if there is no specific end goal?  What if sometimes we are meant to wander aimlessly from point to point in our lives and simply make the most of what we experience in the moment?  If that is the case, it would seem as though all the worldly training on how to succeed in life is mute.  If we integrate the facilities of our mind with the facilities of our hearts we find the role of points and paths intertwining.  Perhaps it is less about one or the other and more about the merging of points along the path to create the path and other times following the path to make a point of our life.

So often we seek evidence of confirmation of what we think or feel from something or someone outside of ourselves.  Yet how can anything or anyone outside of us truly know what is true for us? The real question is are we seeking assurance so others can be convinced or are we trying to convince or dis-confirm for ourselves?  It is nice when we get assurances from outside of us.  It makes us feel like we are on the right path.  But relying completely on outside assurances leaves us vulnerable to the whims of others.  Everyone views things from their own perspective.  We cannot know fully what contributed to the assurances provided to us by something or someone outside of us.  Sometimes we are not even sure why we have the assurance within ourselves.  But the assurance from within our own hearts is one we can cultivate and get to know.  It is with us at all times, under all circumstances, and interacts with us in every which way. We cannot experience the same from something or someone outside of us.  Getting to know the assurances within our own heart creates an awareness of God’s presence within us.  It is precious and takes a lifetime, one day at a time, to make peace with the assurances within our heart.  I have yet to know any other peace that is more rewarding.