dailydatewithgod

The funny thing about all the buzzes and the noises around us all the time is they know how to prompt us into action.  The devices and noises of the world are calling us to pay attention.  It takes focus and concentration to choose to answer what is calling our hearts.  God speaks into our hearts with a whisper.  God’s calling is more gentle than our phones or alarm clocks.  The calling comes from within our own hearts. Our life force lives in our hearts.  Many years I felt like I was constantly calling on God and receiving no answer.  I kept looking for God to show up in big grand ways. Where were the miracles?  Where was the joy?  What happened to all those powerful healing actions that Jesus’ performed?  How come those were not answers I got when I called on God?  For me, it was not until I quieted down and listened for God calling me that a shift occurred.  I had to let go of my ideas and expectations of God calling.  Continually I find that when I feel disconnected from God it is because I stopped listening for the calling coming from my heart.  When I pause, take a deep breath, and draw attention to my heart I able to get centered again.  When I am centered I can let the outside callings drop away.  When it is quieter I can hear the calling of God in my heart.  Then and only then I am open to experiencing it as it is and not as I expect it to be.

Practice makes perfect. At least that is the tag line a number of us heard growing up.  I have come to believe that practice makes permanent or practice makes progress.  If in God’s eyes we are already perfect what would be the point of practice?  Practicing is about discovering what is in God’s eyes for ourselves. Practicing becomes our living adventure in love.  We are growing and changing all the time.  Our hearts are calling us to be the bearers of love for ourselves and the world.  We do not know when we walk into a situation what is the best way to be the love we are until we are present in the moment. But we can all practice love wherever we are. Our hearts long to be practicing their nature in all situations.  Sometimes we have a grasp on that but we cannot rely on what we already know.  Practicing is the compassionate opportunity to be as we are meant to be and not worry about messing it up.  The world does not need perfection.  It needs realness.  Practicing makes room for reality.  God is in reality.  I do not know how to love the parts of myself I do not like.  I do not know how to love the person who professes to believe the opposite of what I do. I do not know how to love and forgive the person who has hurt me. Being honest about it gives me the chance to step into practicing surrender and openness. II do not need to know how. I only have to be willing.  Willing to surrender my lack of power to God and ask God to show me what practicing love looks like in this situation with this person or circumstance.  I am practicing what it means to be love in a way that is unfamiliar to me when I take the action.  It is simple but not easy. The act of practicing allows my heart to grow, expand.  I grow by learning about the breadth, depth, and power of love.

It is easy to get side-tracked when there are so many things clamoring for our attention.  Where we decide to place our focus determines our reality.  When we do not make a decision we lose sight of what is important to us.  Sometimes we go on automatic pilot and before we realize it what we are valuing is not what we intended.  It is what our default mode intended.  Life asks us to show up.  Show up and choose what we are valuing.  Choose the measure we want to share of ourselves in our being with the world.  Choose what value we bring to life.  Choose what we want to get out of it.  I used to think I was at the mercy of everything from my sexual abuse experiences to the weight on my body.  None of that is true.  When I reconnect with my heart I find the truth of who I am.  When I choose to reconnect, I get to discover my value.  Valuing my experiences from the past is a choice.  I did try to ignore them and throw them away.  That did not work to well.  The only freedom I have found is in valuing the experiences.  Not because I like to be in pain but because it is not something I can change. What I can change by valuing it is what happens now?  What I do with what happened shapes the experience of the present and the future.  My choice to value the bad stuff as much as the good stuff is my choice. The world may not understand it.  People will have their opinions about it, but I care about what my God thinks and what my heart sees and knows.  I have had the experience of being rescued from things.  Incest was not one of them, so I choose to believe there is a greater opportunity here.  My heart whispers that maybe just maybe by valuing the frightening and maddening experience of being an incest survivor I can create a present and future reality that I would not be able to otherwise.  I have transformed a lot in body and mind and there is more to go.  I figure that is why I am still breathing.  I will know I am done when I am dead.  On the days that are really really hard and I want to jump out of my skin and be anywhere but the present moment because I feel like I am in a time warp from the past, I stop and breathe.  I turn my attention to my heart and ask what it is valuing in this moment and I listen.  I listen until I find my center.  It may take a while.  There are tears, moments of rage, and friends I trust along the way.  When I am ready to hear it, my heart will open up and show me my value.

It seems like anything that begins with “ex” falls into a category of outside of ourselves.  We put it in front of anything that we are creating distance from and it tends to taint whatever that thing is.  Instead of “EX” we experience it like “X“. Do not go there, danger, danger!  What if the ex could be less about staying away from and more about choosing what to keep close? When we remind ourselves that we have the power to choose what stays close to us versus hoping something we swore off will not come near us again, we are no longer victims.  Knowing the exceptions in your life can free you from the judgment you have on yourself and others to be the one for everyone.  Do we feel bad that we are not closer to our exes?  How does it work if there is no change in the kind of relationship one has with his or her exes whether they are people, ideas, or experiences?  When I take an exception to something I am choosing to leave it out.  When I make an exception for something I am setting aside my thinking or experience to consider a different side.  I do not make exceptions to protect myself.  I make exceptions to create clarity in my life.  Our minds will do jumping jacks to justify why we should keep it close because it is familiar and the mind loves familiar.  Our hearts have the courage to go through the separation so we can find out more of who we are without that thing, experience or person.  Exception does not always mean exclusion and even when it does, it is not because we are x-ing it out of our existence.  If nothing else, going forward I will want to know more about every word that begins with ex and pay close attention to the words I am using to tell the story of my life.

It seems as though things come together in the end.  The longer I live my life the more I am in acceptance of the timing of things.  Of course, letting go of my perfectionist tendencies also helps.  My approach may not be so Zen when it comes to dating and relationships or old wounds that seem to need more cycles to work through, but nobody can do everything the same.  Besides, I figure if I do not trust in God’s appointed time on those things, I am really left out in the cold.  There are too many occurrences where the person who I needed to speak to just showed up, the book carrying the insights I was lacking came across my path, or the experience to generate the feelings I did not know how to connect with happens.  The appointed person, book, or experience present themselves in a way that I could not have orchestrated if I tried.  It is in the humbling appointed moments and times, I am reminded that God has my back.  Someone somewhere with greater wisdom than me is insuring the greatest good for all involved.  It makes me wonder how often I am the appointed one in someone else’s life. I am tickled at the idea that God might be using me as an instrument of happenstance in someone’s life and I have no idea. If we pause and breathe sometimes we can sense it in the moment, but it requires a certain playful approach to life.  It is not about being or feeling controlled.  It is about falling into the mystery of life and how it works out.  Acknowledging the appointed experiences in our lives whether we are the givers or the receivers reminds me to slow down and enjoy the ride.

The well-known Christmas Carol originating in England, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” sings over and over about tidings of comfort and joy.  It is not too often that you hear people talk about bringing comfort to something.  Joy, happiness, peace are more commonly used ideas.  How many of us wake up and think about what comfort will come our way today?  We may not think it but we often approach life from the standpoint of what is most comfortable.  As human beings we have little bandwidth for the uncomfortable. Some of the synonyms for comfort are ease, convenience, pleasure, luxury, well-being, all things the world tells us to strive for.  But what does comfort in our hearts mean?  It is delight, encouragement, soothing, cheer, and even relief.  We tend to think of comfort in physical terms.  The moment I hear the word I think of a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea.  What would it mean to give and receive comfort from our hearts?  How might God be demonstrating comfort as we walk through the holiday season and all its craziness?  Statistically speaking more people are anxious about the holidays than excited.  That does not sound comforting.  Somehow I don’t think purchasing more luxurious or convenient items will aid in the reduction of anxiety, at least not in a lasting way.  What would it look like to bring comfort into an anxious world?  How might we use the energy of our hearts which God readily supplies with comfort and bring tidings of comfort and joy to a fellow human being or to ourselves?

It appears that we are able to demonstrate to one another who we are being without even using words.  We have all heard the saying actions speak louder than words or talk is cheap but what does that really mean?  Being mindful of our words is important so they in and of themselves are not pointless.  If that were the case we might as well walk around like we were in some sort of silent film.  Aligning our actions and our words is what tells the real story. We run into trouble when our actions do not exemplify our words.  In my experience part of this stems from not paying attention to what it is that we are saying to ourselves and others.  How many of us would shudder if we heard how we spoke to ourselves or worse said it to a good friend?  How often do we throw around jokes which are veils for anger and frustration because we do not want to be vulnerable and say how we really feel?  We carry the energy of our truth within ourselves. Unless we are able to find a way to reconcile it between our hearts and our minds, we will exemplify either the opposite of what we intend or a mixed message.  Both make us exemplify an untrustworthy person. It starts with getting clear within ourselves. Taking the time to notice what we are conveying in our words and our actions.  We cannot control how others interpret what we are doing or saying but we can take ownership of what we exemplify.

It is clear if we are to make our way in this world there are certain things we depend upon to help us along.  So how did the idea of depending on something or someone become a taboo thing to discuss?  It is important to acknowledge the degree to which we do nothing alone.  American culture in particular prides itself on its individuality.  This is a good thing but like most can be taken out of context and lose the spirit in which it is meant.  Even those who are individuals depend upon things and people to get to be able to individuate themselves.  The degree to which either individuality or dependence become a negative is when they are taken to the extreme.  When we become isolated because we are so individual or over dependent upon something or someone so much so that we disregard their individuality.  Nature gives us a balanced demonstration of what it means to move within the bounds of individuality and dependence.  A tree stands on its own but is dependent upon the sun and the water at its roots.  It is also networked deep below the surface with all the other trees around it.  Yet no other tree has the design or layout of leaves as it does.  Flowers carry such individual beauty but are dependent upon bees to carry their nectar and procreate.  While I have never seen thank you notes being passed between the flowers and the bees I imagine the flower’s radiance says it all to everyone who stops to notice.   Acknowledging we are depending on our hearts to guide us through life a be present with all we feel is our key to celebrating our individual natures and the way we choose to love.  Recognizing the power of our minds to articulate our independence and formulate language so we can share it with others is another thing we depend upon.  Our connections to others and the love we can share with their individual selves is something we depend upon to make our lives whole.

Our provides at the very least an opportunity of freedom for our mind.  It works very hard to keep us alive and does quite a good job as far as I can tell.  Sometimes it can work against us if we do not make sure to be mindful about it.  It is easy to get caught up in our heads about something and while we are great problem solvers, we also need the perspective of our hearts.  Our hearts do not see things the same way.  Love from which we were created is designed to be freeing.  Bringing the perspective of the power of love and hope to shed light on something can free us from our thinking we just need to survive.  If we take on the posture of our hearts, we are freeing up the mind from carrying all the weight in the decisions we make.  Sometimes when I am so certain that I just need to run the scenarios in my mind one more time to figure it out and come to a solution, I remember to pause.  I put my hand to my heart, take a few deep breaths, and ask myself what the answer is.  Sometimes it is wait, sometimes it is what I sense is the direction to move in, sometimes it prompts me to ask more questions, bring God in closer, come back to it, and a multitude of options I had not yet considered.  All of those free me from having to have the answer that moment or putting the weight of the whole world on figuring it out.

Have you ever noticed that nature moves in cycles?  Why is it then if we are part of nature that we think we move in a straight line?  In a multidimensional life experience straight lines are not something we can follow like the one or two-dimensional reality they are.  It just doesn’t work.  So if we find ourselves encircled in a situation or encircling a certain theme or experience in our lives perhaps it is more than us just going in circles.  Perhaps we are surrounding an experience or idea.  Perhaps we are encompassing our place in a relationship. Perhaps we are making the circuit so we can view the experience from all angles.  We are constantly changing and so we see things we did not see before when we circle around again.  The downside (why going in circles gets a bad rap) is if we only see and experience the same thing.  We do not see encircling something as a renewal or an opportunity to go deeper and we stay on the one-dimensional surface of what we are encircling.  When we come back around again, it can be God’s invitation to view it from our heart.  To be moved in a natural fashion by the experience.  To go with the flow of the universe.  Sometimes we need to circle around because we are not yet ready to let go.  That too can be helpful information.  Seeing the encircling of our lives through the lens of the heart makes room for compassion and curiosity.  If I am busy judging myself for still “being here”  wherever “here” is that I think I should have progressed from, what good is that?  It only serves me to start circling the drain of self-judgment and self-criticism.