dailydatewithgod

It is easy to get a sense of where our thinking is.  Our mind is a non-stop chatterbox.  Without prompting it our head is ready with ideas and opinions about everything all the time.  It is so constant that it can be challenging to not feel overwhelmed.  It is why people struggle with meditation.  They think it is about making the thoughts stop.  Maybe there is some guru out there who experiences that on a consistent level but I am not one of them.  Meditation and mindfulness are about getting some agency around our thoughts.  Learning to watch them and not get attached  Learning to accept that all the thoughts we have are not true just because we have them.  The discussion our minds are involved in can be fascinating and mesmerizing but it is not all there is.  God invites us to develop an awareness of the discussion going on in our hearts.  The discussion in our hearts is more subtle and can get drowned out by the discussion of our minds.  Here is where we can use the tools of mindfulness to not only keep our minds from driving us mad but open ourselves to be able to hear our heart’s discussion.  Cultivating the internal awareness of our heart’s discussion attunes us into the whole of who we are.  Tapping into our heart’s discussion gives us a fuller lens through which to see life unfolding before us which then affects the thoughts prompting the discussion in our heads.

The funny thing about life is how it is often the unexpected occurrences that tell us more about who we are and what we are capable of than the ones we plan.  Only when the moment where we need to be ready and moved into action that we see exactly what readiness looks like for us. Our minds are full of ideas about what we can and cannot do or what we will or will not experience and most of it is bunk.  It is all an ethereal idea until the moment is present. God invites us to cultivate the awareness of what it means to be ready to show up for ourselves.  It is less about proving what we can and cannot do or what we will or will not do and more about discovering it.  How can we really know what we are ready for until the opportunity presents itself?  Many times over in my life I was convinced I was not ready when all that needed to happen was for a situation to show up in which I had to call upon the courage of my heart to see what it meant to be ready. We can live our lives by the ideas in our heads about what it means to be ready or we can take a deep breath, connect to the courage of our hearts and explore ourselves as ready at the moment.

The fundamentals of how we show up give witness to so much more than the facade we present.  Our bearing speaks volumes about the kind of state of mind we are in.  We tend to judge other’s bearing at the moment as the presentation of their whole selves all the time.  Yet, how many of us are our whole selves at every given moment.  We may do our best but our best will be different each day and sometimes within one given day. It saddens me to see how we are treating each other when we lambast someone for one action as if it has bearing on the whole of who they are and then treat them accordingly.  Yes, we are to be held accountable for our actions. Hopefully, we grow into the kind of reflective and introspective human beings such that we catch ourselves instead of just waiting for others to do it for us. Our bearing is a reflection of our state of mind and heart in the moment of action.  Often times the disconnection in our behavior is because of a lack of awareness of either our state of mind or heart or both not because our bearing means we always behave that way.  When we pause to notice our state of mind and heart we can gain some insight at the level of ability to change our manner of being.  God invites us to do this continually so we grow in relationship with ourselves and begin to get to know the intricacies of all that we are bearing to the world and to ourselves.  It can be a murky and dark path at first, but the more we bring God into it, the more light we will find.

When we get disconnected from ourselves we operate from an automatic place.  We do not need to be present to continue living. On my daily dates with God, I have learned the power of being present and aware of myself as connected.  It is not always easy. We as well as those around us get used to the ersatz version of ourselves. There is nothing wrong with this because it is us. However, after much practice, I can recognize that being in the natural unfolding of who I am in the moment encompasses and creates the energy of life which is parallel to none.  The artificial facade we show to the world is not a contrast of who we are, it has elements of our natural or true self within it. Our ersatz outer shell may be something that has served us well until it begins to break and crack.  In my case, when I discovered it did not keep me safe from what I thought it was, my heart broke open. Being broken I was willing to take a closer look at the ersatz nature of my being and honor it for how far it had gotten me while also recognizing its limitations. Just like ersatz flowers which look lovely forever, they lack the life-giving energy that the natural ones have.  We are more like the natural world than we realize.  It was only when I was willing to get close enough to my ersatz self to say thank you for all you have done to allow me to take the next step in my life, that I could walk freely without needing to pull it out automatically to survive.

There are the obvious and acceptable definitions for things that we all go along with either because we trust it or perhaps because we lack imagination.  We tell ourselves we are safe and okay if we go along with the accepted norm.  Even when there is something within us that seems to guide us in a different direction.  On a human survival level, it is threatening to be considered outside the norm.  Yet there are times when we cannot deny the sense of guidance which may lead us down a different path than the one we are expected to follow.  We are left with the question, do we follow the acceptable guide we are given or follow the internal guide coming from our hearts?  There is much made of the path of an entrepreneur, especially in the United States. It stands as a symbol of individualism and carving one’s own path.  Yet how much of it becomes the same as the major companies who supposedly represent the opposite.  Taking a chance and setting ourselves out to be guided by our internal awareness may not be as extreme as striking out completely on our own.  It is more about listening closely to where our heart is guiding us at each moment to discover what is the next step. Following our inner guide does not need to be a big and audacious demonstration that makes us stand out.  It can also be a peaceful and fulfilled sense that we are one with ourselves and we exude that energy to those around us.  God encourages us to listen and notice where the inner guide in our hearts is calling our attention.  Sometimes we do not have to make a choice other than to notice how it distinguishes itself from all the outer voices of guidance.

The way our visual system works to take in information is not helpful for us to pick up on all the details.  Our minds do a lot of filling in the blanks.  This is part of what leads to faulty or suspect testimony from eyewitnesses.  As well-intended as one is unless we are focused on the details we will not give them much attention.  There are times in which we do remember minute details when we are in an agitated state brought on by fear or pain.  It is why when we are irritated by someone we also notice the little details of their behavior that we find equally annoying as their detestable ideas. Our hearts, however, have a knack for picking up on the details because of its frequency of intention having a different focus.  The details of an experience captured in our hearts are those meant to leave an impression.  The energy of our hearts can expand or contract based on the smallest detail. Using the power of our mind’s focus to intentionally notice the details which enliven our hearts can enable us to build up the necessary fortitude to withstand the potential contraction of our hearts.  The more muscle we put into our heart’s awareness towards the details that cause it to expand the more courage we can show up with to face the experiences that make us want to shut our hearts down.  It is the detail that can go from being the straw that breaks the camel’s heart to the last match that lights the wick of the last candle in a blacked-out room.

When we take into account all the factors making up our human operating system it would be an understatement to say we have a lot going on. On some level, it is rather comical how little we are involved and aware of how we are operating.  It is typically only when one of those systems is lacking efficient operation that we notice. It is the dispersal of our awareness captivating our renewed interest in what is going on.  It sounds more fun when we put it that way and I am of course speaking of the stage past the one where we throw a fit because our original plans got disrupted. Needless to say, we don’t often the dispersal of our awareness because it lies outside what we were predicting we would be focusing on.  God invites us to see the dispersal of awareness as an opportunity to notice the fullness of who we are and how it is impacting those around us. The dispersal of awareness can be used constructively once we accept the circumstances to point us in a direction that may connect us to a part of ourselves we have not yet encountered.  In the dispersal, we can expose ourselves to a new way of thinking and being which may open up parts of ourselves we have previously kept locked away.  We may feel out of control due to the scattering of awareness but within it is the possibility of something for us to connect within a deeper way to make it within our radar.  Looking outside ourselves in the dispersal awareness not for the validation of what we already know but for an inkling of what connects to our heart while our mind is busy trying to understand the scattered experience.

We live in a culture that values excess and extravagance.  At least it appears to be the expectation of what it means to be living the ultimate life.  Every commercial is designed to tell us how we are flawed and how we need whatever they are selling to make us complete. Yet when we obtain that item it is not enough because right behind it is a list of things that we now need because we have that.  It becomes a never-ending game in which we never catch up.  The question becomes, which elements of our lives do we consider essential and which are extra? God invites us to look at who we are being and how much of that conveys the essential truth of who we are and how much of it is extraneous layers placed on top of our essential nature. From the place of awareness, we can ask ourselves a deeper question: what are the extraneous layers of ourselves that we are taking care of which do not resemble the truth of who we are in our heart.  We get caught up in the labels we are given or that we give ourselves so much so we lose sight of who we are underneath that identity and the ideas attached to it. God encourages us to evaluate who we are being by bringing our hearts and minds into alignment.  From there we can reconnect to our essential nature which is stronger than the voice of the outside world with its predetermined expectations and levels of acceptance. The voice of truth can then speak to us about where we are being from the extraneous versus the essential.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have often struggled with letting go of things being a way that seems just right to me. Learning to adopt being okay with what is adequate may sound like slacking for some people. I never would have completed my graduate work while working two jobs if I hadn’t listened to my mentor who told me that getting the assignments done was adequate.  I was sure I would end up submitting subpar work.  No such luck, I aced all my coursework.  It turns out “A” stands for adequate. The more I learn to ebb and flow with life the more I find the ideas in my mind about what is adequate differ from what is adequate to my heart. My mind can circle over and over minute ideas of what perfection looks like in a particular situation yet my heart is not involved in this conversation. Our hearts find messiness and imperfection the adequate conditions to open us up to what it means to be relatable.  While our mind is busy looking for perfection our hearts are knocking at us to open our eyes and find the beauty in the adequate circumstances that have brought us to where we are at this moment. When our minds are worrying about whether we are perfect enough to meet the approval of another person, they find our adequate behavior to be charming and something that opens up the conversation between us.  While our minds may balk at the idea of adequacy, our hearts invite us to pause and notice what happens when we see how grateful we can be for all that is adequate in ourselves and our lives.

We often forget about our retention capacity.  We become so intertwined and wedded to an idea or a way of being that we cannot separate ourselves from.  We retain powerful and harmful habits.  Our mind’s capacity for memory and function of looking for like information through which to filter whatever is happening at the moment can set us up for disaster if we are not aware of it.   Nothing is inherently wrong about memory or how it works.  It is in fact, marvelous.  If we did not have the capacity to remember and then filter the information we have retained from those memories about how the world works we would be like the main character in the movie Memento. There is nothing either good or bad about how we function as human beings.  It is about reconciling what is happening in our hearts with what is happening in our minds.  What areas of retention in our lives are residing in our hearts or our minds?  What elements of retention within our minds hurt our hearts and vice versa?  The whole of who we are is an amazing being and the degree of our retention especially of things we retain without even being fully present when we learn them is mind-boggling.  God encourages us to notice with curiosity where our powers of retention are serving us.  When we use the curiosity muscle of our minds coupled with the courage muscle of our hearts we empower ourselves to use our capability of retention to benefit the whole of who we are and the lives of those with whom we interact.