dailydatewithgod

As we head into the holiday season I am mindful of giving.  We are giving and receiving all the time but often we are not aware of it.  We tend to think of both of those concepts as completely matter dependent but we are exchanging energy back and forth with everyone and everything we encounter. Essentially we make a contribution to life either consciously or unconsciously.  A good guide to determine what kind of contribution we are making is by noticing the contributions we make to ourselves.  Is our inner dialogue and perspective one of kindness or criticism?  Is our inner filter one of a positive or a negative slant?  The contribution we make is ourselves.  Our mental, emotional, and energetic states shape our contributions. Balancing what our mind intends to contribute with what our heart can contribute is a way to find balance.  It is not about always being one state or the other.  It is about being honest with ourselves so we are of our contribution.  Sometimes we want to be a contribution in a particular intended way, but either the situation or the context does not require it of us or anyone.  In those moments do we fit ourselves to make a contribution in a way that can be received or do we force our idea of contribution to the experience?  Are we interested in contributing in a way that we feel defines us or are we interested in being a contribution because who we are is a gift?

We like to think we do not have the number of inherent biases that we do.  We fancy ourselves as not affected by general social biases but given how biases are the things we are usually blind to we are clearly in fantasy.  In the grand scheme of things, I think we are better off admitting how unaware we are of our personal and cultural biases.  At least from there, we can move from a known place of unknowing.  By taking the shame out of having the biases to begin with we can explore them and determine how much we are impacted by them. We create a neutral space from which to move into learning more about how they motivate us to action.  If we are busy denying their existence, then we do not have the energy left to get what is beneath them.  Our biases were most likely formed based on given experiences and meanings we made about those experiences at a time in our lives when we did not yet know there were other options. By approaching our biases with neutrality we honor the time in our lives when they made sense while simultaneously seeing how they may or may not apply to the current situation. Neutrality gives us the space to perceive our biases with the lens of the heart.  In my experience, I am not able to move through something when I am carrying judgment about it.  I need to look at it through the lens of neutrality which has no judgment or shame or interest in conviction.  Our hearts know the breathing space of neutrality in a way that blows our minds if we let it.

It makes sense that we are drawn to things we like. There is an internal tug when we experience an attraction.  It is the force of energy at work.  By default one would think if we just moved always in the direction of our attractions life would go wonderfully.  Yet, energy also is about opposites attracting. There are many variables at play when it comes to how energy moves, even in how it is shaped and the changes in shape.  We place a lot of value on our first conscious reaction to something.  There are pluses and minuses to basing our decisions on our first conscious experience of something or someone.  On the positive side, we do not spend a lot of time thinking it over and we can get straight into the action.  On the negative side, we do not often recognize that what we are reacting to is not actually what is in front of us but what is behind us.  We come with a set of filters from our past experiences that taint whatever it is we are experiencing.  At best, it is a mixed bag.  When deciding whether to go with the first conscious reaction, it is helpful to consider the context and frame of mind.  Even going with the first directional movement of energy requires an awareness.  We may also not recognize that while our conscious reaction to something seems to indicate movement towards the point of attraction, our unconscious reaction may be very different.  Our minds get very chatty and we often override one or the other because we talk ourselves into or out of it.  For people like me who can get stuck in analysis paralysis, this can become a never-ending loop.  This is where the power of our hearts can be our ally.  Just pausing to take a breath and awaken our hearts allows us to take a deeper and perhaps an unseen perspective on what is happening.  Ultimately we want our movements to action to come from a place of wholeness.  If we make that first choice using only our minds as our guide and our heart is not online, we may find ourselves stopped somewhere in the process.  It is not about making the perfect choice of whether to move towards or away from our attractions, it is about choosing from our whole selves as best we can.  Either way, we can learn from whatever comes.  Our mind may tell us we have to get it right, but the heart speaks the language of learning.  When we are open to know ourselves as ones who are here to learn and grow in love we can move towards or away from our attractions with courage and strength.

In a world in which seems to have a war between the value of doing versus being, chances get a bad rap.  They are relegated to the level of trying which is seen as half-hearted and uncommitted action. I wholeheartedly agree that decisions to take action with intention are important and productive.  Chances are the avenue through which we can get to the point of decision.  Sometimes we have to give something or someone a chance without being sure whether or not it will work before we can put the full force of a decision behind it.  Chances are like the mini-decision before the intentional decision.  We will all have experiences that will burn and bruise us.  We will want to withdraw from life and protect ourselves.  We may let ourselves go into faulty thinking that unless something is a sure outcome, there is no point in giving it a chance. Yet the playfulness of our hearts which knows we have the courage to walk through whatever consequence of that chance, guides us differently.  The courage of our hearts knows of second, third, and four chances.  Our heart’s energy has within it the capability of getting back up again after a fall.  Our minds want to measure our success by the outcome alone.  Our hearts see all the chances we will have if we are willing to step into our full being as we are doing.

While it is understandable that we have a reluctance when we encounter something foreign to us, it doesn’t make sense that we use that as a reason to make it wrong.  The world is full of contrasts.  Even if we are reticent to explore, we can appreciate whatever contrast we encounter as having value.  Whether it is a person or an idea, just because we do not agree does not mean we are right and they or it are wrong.  We seem to vilify the contrast out of fear for our survival, but since when did giving someone’s idea value equal our death?  It is our ego that fears death.  However, if we remember to bring our heart into the decision-making process we might learn something from the contrast.  It may inform something about ourselves we did not see until we witnessed the contrast.  The contrast is not the enemy our resistance to it can be. Contrast can help us clarify things for us.  We might have a better sense of why we believe something if we allow ourselves to bear witness to the value of a contrasting belief.  No one is saying we must adopt the contrasting belief.  This world is full of people and ideas who see and experience things in contrast to what we experience.  Our hearts remind us to start off by being open to the value of the contrast however it shows up in the same way we value what we believe and who we are.

If we want to know why we see things the way we do we need to be tuned into to our states.  We like to think that what is going on outside of us is the cause of what we are thinking and feeling.  But ask anyone who has ever been in love how wonderful everything seems to be.  It states in the Talmud, “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”  It seems abrupt at first concept but as we allow it to seep into our understanding we realize we are empowered by it.  If we know how to change our state, we know how to change what we are seeing and experiencing.  We no longer have to fall for the illusion that we are a victim of circumstance or what other people are doing or not doing.  We may be more comfortable giving away our sovereignty but comfort does not always equal freedom.  So many of our states are a result of habitual patterns and we fear to step out of them because we know them well and do not have to use too much brainpower to be in them. However, we can even change the state through which we view fear.  I used to make myself wrong for being fearful.  It was only through my daily dates with God and living a life no longer enslaved by my addictions that I began to see fear is just one state of mind.  I can choose to hold on to it, let it go, look at it from a different angle, adopt a turn of phrase which empowers me, ask a friend how they see it, invite God to show me how she sees it, and so on.  Whatever I do is my choice and I can stop living at the effect of others and situations. The gift of knowing we can change our states with something as simple as a deep breath is living as the empowered beings God created us to be.

Have you ever been struck in your heart in such a way that you lose your breath?  It is as though your whole system internally comes to attention.  Your eyes are opened, your mind is silenced, and there is a felt sense of presence in the moment devoid of any past or future.  When you are enveloped by this overwhelming experience you do not feel as though you are going to be blown over because there is a steadiness which has you anchored in stillness. I remember feeling this way when I went to Yosemite for the first time.  I remember it was a quick trip there that had not gone as planned and on top of everything else, I had a mild migraine.  Whether it was because I was too stubborn or I just knew it was too important to pass up, I made my way down the long and winding road to the valley of the Yosemite. I was walking around with my mouth open. I kept stopping and just staring at the magnificence present in the huge landscapes of mountains and trees.  The color was so bright and definitive, it was as though I could feel the lifeblood of the nature I was grateful enough to in the presence of.   I kept saying thank you out loud to God and asked why I felt called to go and see this place at that moment despite the less than ideal position I was in.  In a very quiet moment, I heard God whisper that he wanted me to see one of his other beautiful creations.  I knew at that moment she was letting me know he saw me as one of his beautiful creations and one as majestic and overwhelmingly beautiful as Yosemite.  I was humbled to say the least. Reflecting back on it now it brings tears to my eyes.  We forget how much God values all of her creations.  We sometimes go our whole lives believing only what we or other humans think of us and our surroundings.  We are the bellowing of God’s creation.  We are the bellowing of love shown through beauty.    We are the bellowing that resounds through our hearts. We know it when we find ourselves faced with beauty.  We know it when we get still enough to hear it.  We know it when we tune in with our hearts.  Whatever words, ideas, people, experiences, or beliefs we have which bellow the presence of God brings us into an alignment where we remember we, like all of God’s creation, are love made manifest.  I became attuned to the bellowing of God’s presence in the world and in myself the morning I had my first of my daily dates with God.  I learned all I need to get started is my breath.  It is the gateway to receive the bellowing message of God’s presence in our lives as God is, not necessarily as we expect God to be.

If you have ever attempted to go a whole day without complaining you might know something about how alarming it is to realize just how easy it is to complain about things.  Sometimes I think we do it so often because we do not know how else to express ourselves.  It sounds too emotional to admit we are hurt by something or someone.  It seems too dramatic to be disappointed by an experience.  It is these chagrins that can motivate us to think we are expressing ourselves when we complain.  We give people and experiences lots of power and when we are chagrin it is because we realize just how much power we have given them.  Why else would we feel vexed?  Why else would we feel humiliated?  We are chagrin because we witness the fallibility of life.  We tell ourselves we should know better or that we should not have put ourselves in such a situation or let ourselves put our hopes in that person.  It is easier to just complain about them or it than own the chagrin.  It is why complaining does not accomplish anything other than saying something. Why not take a chance and speak from the heart?  God has shown me the first way to walk through a moment of chagrin is to admit how I feel to myself.  I may or may not need to voice it to anyone else, but I need to own it for myself.  My heart calls me to speak its truth so I can hear it and allow it to resonate and move through me.  Only by allowing the chagrin to move through me can I get a clear idea of what, if anything, to do next.  It may seem easier to complain but it is like giving lip service to our feelings. We don’t need our hearts to do it.  Given the depth of a chagrin don’t we owe ourselves at least the opportunity to resonate with depth what we have experienced truthfully?

Sometimes the only reason we are suffering is that we forget there are other options.  Our mind is always busy providing us with up to the minute information as to our status, or rather what we think about what the current moment.  Other times, it is busy telling us what could have been or what might have been.  The beauty of the constant stream of information is we have plenty of choices when it comes to which ones to attach ourselves.  We can get stuck in believing the only option we have is to go with is what our mind has automatically concluded.  Instead of going with our own head we could engage with others and see what they think or what they might do if they were provided with the same information.  Instead of believing our mind outright, we can question it and the meaning it has assigned to something or someone.  Instead of jumping on to the thought which seems to keep playing over and over in our head like it is broken record, we can take a breath and remove it from the turntable.  Instead of taking things at first thought, we can try out other ones.  Instead of assuming we have all the information needed to take the next step, we can seek out additional information or locate the source of the information we have.  All of the insteads are easily preceded by the taking of a breath. The magical element of taking a breath is in its invitation for the heart to come online and if we want, provide another perspective.  Instead of going only with our minds, we can check in with our hearts, our bodies, our spirit and see what alternatives are out there.  We underestimate the number of insteads provided by our breath multiple times in a day.