dailydatewithgod

I get the concept of gentleness when it comes to physicality.  It makes sense, gentle versus callous surfaces are something you pick up when you touch it.  Gentleness of thinking is often synonymous with weakness and can be hard to distinguish.  I have come to understand my thinking as not gentle when I attach a physical word to my reaction.  If I find myself saying something to myself if when heard by another person speaking it to me my reaching would be “ouch!” I can grasp it.  The level of my gentleness of mind is directly correlated to the lower number of ouch statements towards myself.  We often think in order to move ourselves to a different state using callous words or strong definitive language is the best way.  If that was the case, wouldn’t more of us be wherever it is we think we should be that we aren’t in terms of our success?  Gentleness makes room for breath.  Gentleness has the power of the heart to move us but not force us.  There are times when we need the harsh and loud message as in the case of life or death situations.  Somehow I don’t think our personal goals or opportunities for habit change qualify as life or death.  If swerving my car to the right keeps me from hitting the person walking across the street I want to hear myself be guided that way right now and as loudly as possible.  Gently and quietly conveying the information may come too late.  But bashing my head in for hitting the snooze alarm again has ceased to keep me from doing it.  Choosing which tool of language to use to adjust our behavior means making room for the gentle perspective as well as the harsh one.  It comes down to what moves the courage of our hearts to action.  There are many theories out there as to what causes people to change and better their lives.  As someone who has lost a lot of weight and kept it off, someone who navigates effectively through the after effects of being incested as a child, and someone who daily attempts to be the best version of herself, I know if my heart is not moved, none of those things are possible.  My heart which is prompted to be engaged with each breath is the gauge through which I choose the gentle or the harsh tool for the moment I am in.

It seems like the way to go is to choose a path and follow it.  It sounds very logical.  Pick one, get on it, and travel it.  In our minds we imagine a straight line.  We see ourselves getting from point A to point B.  Think about it for a minute, if you close your eyes and imagine a path, it is usually straight. We do not envision the cross roads or the curves on the path.  Because we think we know where the path leads we focus on the destination.  We may recognize that certain things will cause us to go off course and they will, but we just get back on.  We don’t expect to have to take detours because the path is blocked. Sometimes the detours become their own path.  We find ourselves at a cross roads being asked to choose if we want to continue on the original path or the detour.  I feel like my life has been a series of detours.  It seems like anytime I come across an expectation that is not met, I am being asked to detour from it and make peace with reality.  The core of who I am is inviting me to widen my perspective of what life holds and what I have the courage to face. The detours lead me down pathways that are strangely familiar to my heart’s sense of capability. It is my mind which pushes to stay with the original idea of what is meant to be.  When do we surrender to the idea that the detour is now the path?  It is an individual decision.  The invitation from God is to bring our heart to mind when we make our choices on our paths.  The path is the destination and it is about who we are becoming as we travel the projected path or the detours.  All paths tell the story of our lives and usually God’s story for us is grander and more imagined then we have the capacity to hold in our mind.  God’s view of us sees the fullest capability of love existing within us at all times. Sometimes we have no idea the courage of which we are made until we find ourselves taking a detour we didn’t expect.  It is not about what the outside world thinks of our path or if it falls into the world’s measurement of success.  It is how we let the detours on our paths shape the character of our love.

The rate with which we assimilate information is directly correlated to the level of connection to the information we already possess.  Finding ourselves absorbed in something is an indication our connection to it on multiple levels.  Our hearts are a strong measurement of our level of engagement with life in general.  The things we cannot take our eyes away from or find ourselves paying attention to with intention indicate what has us absorbed.  Our hearts possess the truest experience of ourselves.  It is not simply about thoughts or feelings.  It is about something resonating with the core of who we are.  God designed us to pay attention, if we choose, to the guidance of our hearts by noticing our level of absorption.  It is more than just an idea whose time has come.  It is a lack of resistance to a concept or experience.  It is a willingness to get lost in our absorption because we sense it is already a part of us.  Some people describe this as the flow state, others as being in love.  Noticing what absorption experiences we have gives us some insight into the leanings of our hearts and inklings of our truth.  Sometimes we know exactly why we are absorbed in a situation or with a person.  Other times we have no idea.  It is not obsession.  It is a willingness to become one with and relax into the openness that occurs in our hearts when we do.

We each have our unique styles.  The ways we choose to approach life and all its circumstances provides is influenced by our perspective.  Our mode of handling interpersonal relationships is impacted by how we see ourselves in those relationships and what value we give them.  Our mode of working depends upon how we define ourselves as a worker.  We have various experiences adding up over time which impact our modes.  The question is, are we defaulting to using the same mode for every area of our lives?  Are the same modes we adopted as children the ones we are trying to make work as adults?  Usually we keep going until something breaks down.  Often we hold on to our modus operandi like a recipe for our favorite food.  We do not notice the impact of our mode until we taste the finish product and realize the ingredients have been tainted.  As humans our adaptations for survival are typically by the easiest means necessary so our brain does not need to use as much fuel.  It is a vital quality to insure we will remain alive. I am grateful for this and do not think it should change as I do not want to throw out the desire to live in the process of thriving.  However, stopping to look at what it is we are trying to survive in the present moment may call for different modes.  The ones we took on or developed as children may have worked well for situations in which we were dependent upon others for our basic needs.  If as adults that is no longer the case, perhaps it is time to adopt a different mode of interaction with ourselves and others.  We resist change because it is unfamiliar and lack of familiarity can breed fear. If we start by looking at our lives through the lens of our hearts we open up the opportunity for our heart to speak to us about its modes.  Growing and learning in leave require different modes of operation than simply making it through the day.  Maybe there is room for a combining of both kinds of modes.  Until we stop to engage our hearts by inquiring within we will simply operate in fear of potential unfamiliarity.  God has designed us to grow and thrive in the love of which we were created.  Seated at the core of ourselves are the modes through which we can operate to fulfill our design and it comes handily equipped with the level of courage needed to face our fears.

As a Star Wars fan I enjoy and see value in Yoda’s perspective on things.  He formulates his wisdom in quirky and forthright word plays which catch you off guard but most importantly catch you to stop and think.  One of his most well-known phrases is , “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” As someone inclined to the pitfalls of trying to be a perfectionist, I can use this to stop me in my tracks faster than you can spell Yoda.  There is actually great value in being willing to try especially if we are committed to doing it.  The attempts we make are action which moves us in the direction we are trying to go.  We may not know if it will get us there but if we are committed to moving, it is in fact the attempt which is the doing.  I think what he meant is do not just say you will, actually do.  Trying can sound like have a fail-safe in place to save face in case you fail. This is what most perfectionists try to create and can spend most of their action on the creation of the fail-safe leaving little energy for the attempt.  If our focus is on the value of the attempt however, the trying becomes the doing because it is in action not just words.  When we access the courage within our hearts we have the energy to make all kinds of attempts.  If the attempts are driven from the truth of who we are they will be successful in strengthening our connection with ourselves.  If our concern is being successful by outside standards then the world will only see us trying and perhaps failing.  The power of love within our hearts adds the intention of our attempts to grow into more fully realized messengers of God for which we have been designed.  Attempts of the heart are driven by the desire to be the truest expression of ourselves.  If in so doing we are seen by the outside world as failures, so be it.  No one besides me and God knows the depth and intention of my heart that leads me to attempt all kinds of things in my life.

There are many ideas and beliefs we hold of which we are not aware.  We may see the results of those beliefs in our actions without an awareness of what we are claiming is part of who we are.  We act from how we identify ourselves.  When we align ourselves with ideas and beliefs we incorporate them into our picture of ourselves.  Seeing the actions break down or become ineffective can generate the opportunity to take a closer looks at our claims.  God encourages us to slow down and take a closer look at the claims of our being and see if they match with our hearts.   It is easier to blame outside circumstances and others for the breakdowns.  It takes courage which comes from the power of the heart to look at what we are claiming is true for us that may no longer be our truth. We grow and evolve and if we want to represent the truest elements of ourselves we can start by looking at who or what we claim ourselves to be.  There may be fear or anger at the prospect of taking a closer look but it is a bunch of smoke and mirrors to keep the peace of our spirit at bay a little longer.  Our identities need not be threatened by looking at our claims when all we set out to do is take a look.

The delicate nature of creation speaks to the precious nature of the Creator of all.  Knowing we come from this source makes sense as to why we are drawn to experiences of elegance.  Often times people cast the idea of elegance with extravagance or excess.  Yet what could be more elegant than the way the a child sleeps peacefully in your arms or watching a tree sway in the wind?  It is the seemingly simplistic minute experiences of joy for which we are not the cause.  It is a knowing of grace which comes straight from the power of love.  It is something our hearts know and the time we take to get to know the truth of what is in our hearts, the more we will see evidence of elegance in our everyday lives.  God encourages us to see within ourselves the elegance God’s sees and knows with certainty existing within us.  Getting quiet and following the light of hope and still power of the heart opens our experience to know elegance in whatever moment we are in.

Sometimes when we find ourselves in situations where we do not know what to do, so we shy away from being present.  We think our presence is somehow not needed.  We believe it is random that we are where we find ourselves.  These days we get on our phones instead of risking engaging with others. We are just in the elevator after all. We think there is no point because we are just moving through. What if we are exactly where we are supposed to be at all times?  What if we are designed to be the amelioration needed in a given circumstance?  We think if we do not bring something grand and noticeable to an experience it is pointless. Through the gift of ourselves we can be the amelioration of being alone in this world.  Your smile could alleviate someone’s pain.  Looking someone in the eye could be the amelioration of the other person feeling unseen.  Stopping to hear the answer when you ask someone how they are is the amelioration of knowing their voice matters.  There are so many ways we can ameliorate the presence of darkness in one’s life by simply showing up, being present, and participating.  God invites us to play a role in ameliorating the idea that anyone is of any less value than anyone else.  We all matter and when we take a small step to ameliorate the idea that we do not matter we are the face and presence of love in the moment.

If we are not aware we are not aware. It may seem like a highly simplistic statement but it is reminder of how much we assume about awareness.  We think that if others recognized what is happening, what they are doing, or how they are behaving, they would make changes.  This implies a level of recognition that is not present.  All of us at any given moment in time are not able to be in full recognition of our experience.  If we were, our heads would explode.  There are so many things happening on so many different levels and our brains and bodies work in collaboration to keep at the forefront the recognition of what will insure our survival.  We take for granted that because we are able to recognize something, others recognize it too.  This is where many conflict arise.  We take it personally that someone cannot see it from our perspective or be aware of the same things of which we are aware.  Maybe it is not the time or the place for anyone but us to have recognition.  Maybe there is nothing wrong with someone else having an awareness we do not have.  Maybe we are meant to be in relationship so we can provide the fullest recognition of the experience possible.  Maybe our hearts are what drive us to connect with others because they know to support the survival being worked on by our mind and body needs to connect with a fuller awareness of reality in order to really survive.  God invites us to expand our recognition of life in the moment we are in by engaging our heart.  Our heart prompts us to pause and take a breath.  Our heart uses the need for new oxygen as a window to deepen our recognition of the presence of life in ways we might not see through our eyes.

One of the blessings of living in recovery is the ability to take myself less seriously.  I find myself laughing at myself much more than I ever did when I was in pain.  It is the freedom of the heart expressed in a willingness to experiment with life.  I am not watching my back all the time waiting for someone to catch me off guard and hurt me.  This frees up energy to dabble in different things and try them out. I rarely hear the message inside my head telling me I should know how to do things I have never done before.  Dabbling is something I have opened up to doing with my beliefs and fixed ideas.  So much of what we believe we never question.  We just assume it resonates with us because it was given to us.  We believe because so many other people believe the same thing, it must be true. Questioning our assumptions can be scary. On my daily prayer and meditation dates I am given the space to tinker with what I just assumed was a part of who I am.  Yet how much of what we believe or have fixed ideas about do we never question?  How many do we take the time to tinker with? Dabbling in the assumptions we carry breathes new life into them.  It expands our minds and makes room for our hearts to take a peek where perhaps they were barred before.  Dabbling implies a curiosity so there is a safety in making room for it.  We run less risk of jarring ourselves out of a set mindset.  Dabbing allows for a slow unveiling of the truth of ourselves within whatever beliefs or fixed ideas we have if there is in fact space for our truth within them.