dailydatewithgod

One of the misnomers I experienced is thinking that anything outside of me can provide what I truly need.  Many things of this world can give the illusion of providing what it is I need, whether it be through people or experiences or circumstances.  Ultimately, those things will fade away and I am left with the need still present in my heart.  As someone who experienced a lack of safety at a very young age, I made a decision or an agreement that I would do whatever I needed to do to feel safe from that moment forward.  I have to say, the human mind and body are fabulous mechanisms and when we make decisions about things unconsciously or otherwise, we find ways to make them happen.  There are two really obvious ways this manifested for me.  One was in food.  I found not only a comfort and sense of safety in food itself but managed to pack on an extra 100+ pounds as a nice safe barrier so even if someone did touch me in a way that was not comfortable I would be protected.  The other way was that I would determine what the best way was to be right and good in the eyes of others.  Once I knew what that formula was i would follow it whether or not it truly resonated with me.  If it kept you from having to question me or be disappointed in me then it was working.  We have all had experiences of some kind that made us feel that we were not safe or okay, it is part of the human experience. I truly believe that life happens for me, not to me.  I developed a way of “handling” the experience as a young child but I have outgrown those coping mechanisms, in fact they began to work against me.  So after shedding the excess weight and one day at a time not going to food for comfort, I am left standing vulnerable and in need of sanctuary from God.  The beauty of that need is that God fulfills and provides greater sanctuary than any of those other things or people did.  No amount of approval from another human being compares to the sense of heart and spirit filled divine connection that I have had with God.  And given that God is everywhere and in everything it is always there if I am open to it, if I am searching for it.  I have learned to create my own sanctuary with God in my heart.  Now that doesn’t mean that I have it down perfectly, I still have a lot of room to grow.  But each day that I am given breath is a chance to expand that sense of sanctuary in my own heart and to be a witness of that for others.  My prayer for you today is that you may recognize any false sense of sanctuary you have created in your life.  Once you recognize it you can decided if it still works for you.  If not, may you have the courage to try God as your sanctuary in that moment, even if it is only for 10 minutes or one given situation.  Try it out–what have you got to lose?  Make it a great one!  Peace~Colleen

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