dailydatewithgod

I am not sure if it is an American thing or a single-person thing or what but the idea of being independent runs very strong through me as I have seen it do so through most people.  We all want to see that we can do and be on our own.  It gives us a sense of self and a part of growing up.  But as with all things there is a balance required.  I also have to look at my thinking.  I may be independent in my actions but if I am relying on what you think of me to determine the validity of my actions, how independent am I really?  Growing up I learned really quickly how to do things that met with other people’s approval–parents, teachers, authority figures.  I knew what was considered acceptable and what was not. As a girl I simply wanted to feel safe and accepted. So when my ideas ran contrary to what was acceptable I changed who I was to please others, most of the time. This got me very far, but even as I got older I began to see that it was wearing on me.  As I became spiritually awake and developed my relationship with God, this notion of other’s approval was right in my face.  What I have come to realize is that it is very finite.  It makes me dependent upon you (whomever you are) being in an approving mood.  But what if you are having a bad day?  I know when I am having a bad day, nothing seems right with myself or with others and situations. If someone is looking to me to approve and say that who they are is okay–it is not likely to happen.  This is where I need to cling to God.  God’s love is constant and ever-approving.  It does not mean that it isn’t nice to get approval from others but I must take it in stride because it is really not about me.  It is about where they are.  When we are in a good mood and feeling good about ourselves we are loving and accepting.  When we are in the opposite mood and thinking, nothing is acceptable.  It has very little to do with the other–it has to do with what is happening on the inside.  True independence of spirit is knowing to whom or what I am clinging to do determine who I am and who I am being.  My prayer for you today is when you are looking to the world to approve of you, ask yourself, do I approve of me?  Does God approve of me? (and is your God really God or some human notion of God?)  Make it a great one!  Peace~Colleen