dailydatewithgod

There is nothing like a health scare to wake you up to your mortality and lack of power.  That is, of course, until one experiences the health scare of someone they love.  It is one thing to walk through the powerlessness that accompanies the unknown for yourself but to witness someone you love going through it ups the intensity.  I have been experiencing just that this week with one of my closest friends being in the hospital in a lot of pain and test after test coming up inconclusive.  It has been hard being in another state and not able to physically be there to show my support.  I found myself walking through all the stages of grief–even though she isn’t dying–it is an element of loss or intense fear of loss that triggers the grief.  I laughed at myself at one point because I heard myself having a conversation with God that I hadn’t had in a long time. I was reminding God that the plan we have in place does not involve her leaving this world anytime soon, so whatever is going on, he needs to take care of it.  It has been almost a week and the doctors still don’t know what is going on but she is getting morphine every couple of hours and will most likely need to get IV feeding because she hasn’t been able to keep anything down.  The one good thing that has come out of this is I am reminded of how precious time is with the ones we love and we never know when it might come to an end.  I am grateful that whatever she and I have gone through in the course of our 30 year friendship there is nothing left unspoken or that has not been dealt with.  I am reassured by the fact that she has family close by who is with her and watching over her and communicating with her doctors.  It is out of my hands, all I can do is keep turning her over to God and sending her love.  I guess in the end that is what we are here for anyway–to love.  That is the only power we have–to choose love, to be who we are at our core and trust that the Great Creator of all love is overseeing it all.  Love takes courage, coming to terms with my powerlessness to do anything other than that takes courage.  Interestingly, if I stay in the space of who I truly am–love and focus on that, then I have all the power that I need for today.  My prayer for us today is that we find solace in knowing that though we may lack power, it is in our acknowledgement of that lack that we are able to be who we are=LOVE.  Make it a great one!  Peace~Colleen