dailydatewithgod

When I sit quietly in the space of my heart today, it is amazing how soft the space is. I spent much of my life trying to protect my heart in various and rather extreme ways.  Since my experience taught me that it was going to hurt and I didn’t like it I concluded as a child that the best bet was to construct some armor around it.  That armor eventually manifested into a physical barrier of over 300#s.  Beyond that was the emotional barrier of not fully letting in others, unless they proved themselves worthy.  I used humor and sarcasm to keep from showing my real feelings, lest they be considered unacceptable yet again.  It is actually quite brilliant the lengths that I went to in guarding my heart.  Unfortunately, that means that I blocked out a lot of the good stuff too.  When I encountered positive experiences of the heart through friends, boyfriends, and family I didn’t know how to take it in.  I was certain it was fleeting and not real.  I could hear my mind questioning it when someone would share and demonstrate their love and concern.  Thankfully I was able to ingest enough so that I wasn’t teetering on the edge of madness.  I think I figured most of the reason for the love and affection was because I was doing things right.  I was meeting their approval.  So as long as I kept in line, the good stuff would keep coming.  It is a mind warp, highly conditional, and a massive set up for failure and being inauthentic.  It meant I could not fully express who I was because I always had to be sure it measured up with what is okay with you.  Working my way out of that pattern has been a long process and I still have ways to go.  It began by being so broken down and not being able to keep up the wall to a slow process of getting to know myself again or perhaps for the first time.  I have had to look at all my ideas and beliefs and determine, is this in alignment with my heart and my spirit or is it because it is what is expected?  Is this an authentic way of being for me or simply what I have always done? Thankfully on our dates, God has guided me step by step through the unknown.  Most importantly, God has opened my eyes to see that my heart needs no protection. Its fullness and vitality are always present in the mind of God.  I need only to present it to Him with sincerity and ask, how can my heart be love and receive love today?  What ideas do You have so that I may be the fullest expression of myself?  Who I am is love. Who we all are is love.  Nothing that exists can undue or make that unsafe.  It would be like undoing God.

My prayer for us an awareness of the fullness and vitality of our hearts in God’s eyes this day.

If you knew that nothing you experienced could change the vitality of your heart, what is one simple way you would be willing to live from your heart today?  Share in the comments.