God is authentic. I was reminded today as I sat down in the sun for a few minutes and wrote out a letter to God to freedom that comes from being able to connect with something greater than me with complete honesty. I am not sure where I got the sense that when it came to my communication with God, I was free to let it all hang out. It probably stems from the time I was in middle school and was being made fun of as the fat girl at lunch time. I came home crying yet again and my father encouraged me to go to the church at lunch time the next day and talk to Jesus. I looked at him like he had three heads but being daddy’s girl I didn’t question it. So the next day I walked into church at lunch time, all the way to the front and kneeled down in front of the massive bible with a crucifix above it. Not really sure what to do, I just started talking. I said I was there because my dad seemed to think I could talk to him as a friend. I didn’t really believe it but my dad seemed to know about this sort of stuff. I told Jesus that life sucked at the moment and I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted to do was get along with the girls and not be made fun of. After a little while of pouring out my heart I just stayed and heard nothing. So I got up and walked out. I think I went back a couple of times and things didn’t get much better at school except that I wasn’t there at lunch time to be the recipient of the cruel words and turned backs. Eventually I did manage to make a couple of friends, some of whom I still have these many years later. More importantly it began a personal relationship with Jesus where I was honest about what I was thinking and feeling. Over the years Jesus has heard anger, fear, joy, frustration, desperation, overwhelm, confusion, exhilaration, gratitude, satisfaction, and all the myriad of feelings. I never thought I would find myself feeling grateful for this level of honesty. God has never turned me out or stopped listening.
Be Of Honesty!
on November 13, 2016My prayer for us is the courage to be honest with however we understand God and I hope it is one that you believe listens with a warm heart.
If God gave us the capacity to be honest, what do you hold back from your conversations with God under the guise that God can’t handle it? Share in the comments.
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