dailydatewithgod

I always thought that people who displayed confidence had some sort of thing inside them that I didn’t have.  I have felt confident before and demonstrated confidence in my life, it’s just one of those things that I thought would be different from it is.  From the outside it looks like an unwavering grasp of one’s realm whether that be a relationship, a presentation, or a way of being.  I have spent most of my life questioning my reality perhaps in part because as a kid so much of what I was seeing and experiencing seemed to stand in contradiction to what I was feeling.  I kept looking outward for someone to validate who I was and what I was experiencing.  I think this is a natural thing to do as you grow but honestly in some of those areas, I feel like I never grew up.  Living an awakened life means I have the opportunity to grow in all areas of my life especially those most needing  an update.  This can be a painful process but only if I fight it.  It is a struggle when I am certain the reality I have always known is the safest.  Confidence thus becomes a hindrance.  In my daily prayer and meditation dates with God I have come to know in my heart that the most important confidence is that which lies in my heart.  In the dwelling place of God inside of me is where I must continually draw from confidence.  When I do that I can feel less certain and still be confident.  When I live from the confidence of God in my heart, I do not need others to validate who I am or what I am doing.  It is freeing and I think it is what I perceived others to have.  Freedom is ultimately what I seek the most each day and yet again God takes my hand and directs me to my heart to find what I seek.

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