dailydatewithgod

When I first learned the distinctive way to take a deep breath my body seemed to fight it.  It felt uncomfortable to take my breath past my lungs into my belly and allow it to expand.  I realized I had spent a lot of time holding my breath.  It was a way of being less visible and when in a state of fear it happens naturally.  The relaxation of the body that occurs with deep breathing was unfamiliar to me.  I also recognize that I had a lot of judgment of how I breathed.  As a fat girl I judged myself and made myself wrong because I was more out of breath than the other kids after PE.  Even as a dancer I did not want to stand out as not being able to keep up so I would hold my breath.  This constriction of a natural process made less of life available to me.  But it allowed me to survive.  As I step day by day into living a fuller life, the depth of my breath increases as well.  I am mindful now of ways that I decrease the depth of living in my body out of fear.  God did not give me a body to be afraid of it, I experienced situations as a child that did that.  But I am no longer a child.  As I learn to breathe and live with greater depth, trusting in God’s vision for my life, each day is a little easier and a little more profound.