dailydatewithgod

As a child I learned early on not to question certain realities lest I find out I was to blame.  I feared the truth I had created in my head that it was my fault.  As an incest survivor I was facing a situation in which my father was not taking responsibility. I believe he was reliving his own trauma and could not take responsibility. All children, no matter the specific circumstances take on the responsibility when the adults around them do not. Children are open souls and generously take on the responsibility because to not do so would create an unsurvivable reality. How would I live and be taken care of if the people I am dependent upon are responsible for my lack of safety and security? It would be maddening. Because as human beings we learn to adapt and repeated ideas become beliefs I spent a lot of my life taking responsibility for things that were not mine to take. As God guides me on our date to ask about some of these repeated ideas I have cemented in my mind through the lens of my heart, I am transformed. I get to re-evaluate the ideas, see their purpose at the time, thank them, and choose to release them.  My heart is freed and my mind is unburdened.  My eyes will cry and my chest will exhale as I step into a new reality alive with new ideas one day at a time.  This is the process of asking my heart what will enable me to live in the light of God’s love.