dailydatewithgod

The one quality about God that I recognized faster than anything else on our daily prayer and meditation dates was the power of God in staying.  Especially when it came to the meditation part.  I thought I could not stay in one spot remotely still even for the two minutes to which I committed.  It made no sense to me.  How does doing nothing for two minutes bring about anything.  My mind was either on getting something out of it or doing it right.  Neither of which happened for a long time.  And actually, I still don’t think I do it right.  But one thing I have learned is to stay.  What I saw in my daily date time was my tendency to want to run.  I didn’t realize all I was doing was running from myself.  I did it primarily by packing on pounds of weight to keep myself at a distance from myself and the feelings in my body and used food, especially sugar to check out from my mind.  I had learned early on as an adaptation to my experience how to cut loose and run even if it was only in my mind.  Here I was on this path of recovery and the very thing I committed to doing was sitting with the madness of my head and the discomfort of my body. I can only credit the power of God within my heart that gave me the courage to practice staying.  I only had to be willing to do it one day at a time.  Two minutes grew to five then to seven and eventually to 15-20 minutes and here I am 15 years later with a life I never imagined.  Even today after so many dates I can sit for our daily date and want to leave.  The difference is I stay anyway.  My heart has taught me the power and the gift I give to myself and the world when I practice staying with me in God’s presence.