dailydatewithgod

I cannot tell you how many times I have chided myself for not being aware of something.  I always thought it was my job to know things before I could know things.  There was enough happening for me as a kid that defied explanation, so I came up with my own.  I learned to fill in the blanks.  While it ensured my survival and put my brain to rest somewhat, it has its limitations.  As a child, I could not ask God, what is happening here?  How do you see this?  What do you want me to learn from this?  I just decided I had to figure things out. I learned to read people and pay attention without really paying attention to the difference between what was being said and what was felt.  I am not some sort of psychic or special in any way, we all have the capability to be aware of more than what is at the surface. I developed a hyper-vigilant state of awareness to keep myself safe.  It is helpful to survive but exhausting.  And even within that there were things I missed.  The difference is I thought there was something wrong with me because I missed or I feared being hurt.  There was no room in this perspective for humanness.  Growing closer and closer to God on our dates each day has taught me to trust I will become aware of things as I need to be aware of them.  I am not meant to live on guard watch duty all the time.  I will see the things in me and others I need to see as in the time needed for me to learn and grow from it.  This means the same is happening for others, no matter what I think about their level of awareness which can be equally challenging to accept. God is invested in our growth in love in our lifetime.  God is not in a rush.  God is not wondering why we are so clueless.  God will love us no matter how much awareness we show up with.  God meets us at the level of awareness we are in today.  Slowly over time I have learned to imperfectly adopt the same attitude of love and acceptance towards myself and others.