dailydatewithgod

One of the key things I learned in recovery early on which has served me well is to focus on the process not the content. It is the path we travel to get to where we want or need to go that matters.  In a world that focuses primarily on the end result this is counter-intuitive.  We are sometimes resistant to the idea that perhaps we are being drawn to work towards a specific goal so we may encounter the obstacles and gifts along the course.  The fun of an obstacle course is not just in accomplishing it but in the different hurdles we have to overcome to get there.  It is in traveling the course we see who we are.  If we only focus on the form of the obstacles or the end goal we miss out on being present to what the course is revealing to us.  I can easily get stuck in this idea.  It happens all the time.  I assume the reason I am drawn to a person, a product, or desire an achievement is the for the end result.  I do not think much about what will happen, nor could I imagine what might happen on the course to reach the end experience.  I chalk the bumps and blurbs up to random events that often seem to get in the way of my goal. God is inviting us to be present on the course of our lives.  To show up to each obstacle or seemingly irrelevant experience because maybe it is the thing or the person we are meant to know or learn from.  Our mind’s fixate on what will be the outcome of achieving the goal when maybe our purpose is not to achieve the goal.  Years ago when I decided that I wanted to be married and have a family I thought it was the only purpose in dating.  I did not presume that I would find myself in my 40s still not having achieved the goal.  As it is by the world’s standards I got started late and if it is the goal is the measure of my life, I have failed.  But along the course of this path I have met and gotten to know many men and grown inexplicably through my various levels of relationships with them.  I got to see how strong of a heart I really have and I am not as fragile as I thought I was.  I had the opportunity to clarify for myself what kind of woman I want to be in a relationship and what I have to offer.  I realize even after all this time my desire to be a mother is still here and I trust if it is what God wants for me.  I will have the opportunity even if it is not in the form I originally imagined.  In my early 30s after being in recovery for a few years having mended my relationship with myself and embarked on the course of dating, I never thought it would still be the course I am on today. Yet I would not trade one obstacle or gift that has met me on this course so far.  It has been a wild and wacky ride and I am willing to keep following the course of my heart to learn more about my heart and the hearts of others.