dailydatewithgod

It is funny the difference between what we think people know and observe about us and what they actual observe. We think the things we focus on are the things they focus on.  But why would they? Others are not us.  Sure, there are similarities among humans, cultures, and families, but we are each gifted with our own perspective and the ability to change it.  This perspective informs what we focus on, think about, act on and observe in the world. It is the most freeing thing to recognize that we are the observers and reactors in our own lives.  We get to choose. It let’s us off the hook in terms of concerning ourselves with what others think of us. Many of us have at some point perceived ourselves as people-pleasers.  While I do not think the term adequately describes what is happening, I will use it for the commonly understood meaning of choosing what to do or think about based on the desire to make someone else happy, not upset them, or meet their approval often at the expense of ignoring our own hearts. Even when we say we don’t care what others think, if we use it to choose the opposite of the perceived like of the other person it is still motivating us in our choices. In the end, we have no control in pleasing others because we cannot control what they perceive at any given moment.  We do not know what is motivating their choices.  We may acquiesce to the movie they want to see in an effort to please them only to find out they do not care about the movie but where we go to eat. Why not value our own choices?  Our hearts are ready to share our true wisdom about our choices when we stop to listen.  It calls upon us to pause, take a breath, get quiet and check in with ourselves before determining what will please another. This is our freedom.  Looking at what pleasing our hearts would look like gives us the courage to navigate the world by being who we are meant to be in the moment.  With courage we can handle the potential differences arising from another’s perception in relationship of two whole persons.