dailydatewithgod

I have always sensed a certain fire within myself.  I do not presume to think of myself as so unique that I am the only one who has this fire.  I believe it is the life breath God placed within us at the thought of our creation.  It is fervor lighting up the desire to claim the truth of who we are.  I have walked through some harrowing experiences in my life as many of us have whether we realize it or not.  It has not all be rough going, there is good and bad in all of life.  It is fervor guiding me in walking through what still holds me back from claiming the truth of who I am at my core. Without this earnest intention to be connected to my creator I would have given up a long time ago.  It is fervor that sustains me when I feel overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel. When coming face to face with what feels like a demon in the clothing of a familiar friend , I wonder if it is worth it.  To wake up spiritually and stay awake takes vigilance and fortitude.  If there were no fervor in my heart I would close my eyes and go back to sleep.   I believe it is the Spirit of God connecting with the fervor of my heart that keeps the fire going and makes it possible to show up this day.  I wish I could say the spiritual path was some sort of lofty and ethereal experience of fairies and flowers all the time.  NOT! It is my experience is sometimes it feels more like trudging through mud.  Like the Zen Buddhist master, Thich Nhat Hahn, says “No mud, no lotus.” So on days where all I am experiencing is the mud, the fervor of my heart holds a space for the lotus just about to bloom.

The reality of a physical universe creates the perception of things inside versus outside of ourselves.  We understand ourselves to be having an internal and an external reality.  Yet it is our internal reality which sets up our perception of the external.  We all know this in some sense. If we have information in our minds, we connect with things we see in the world because we have a matching context.  When we are in a good mood, the number of things irritating us goes down.  It is more of a porous existence than we like to think.  One distinction made with humility is our ability to control what happens externally versus internally. Anyone who has ever tried to change another person or prevent rain knows the limits of capability in changing the external world.  What is in our control is in what we think about what is happening externally.  We can utilize our internal power to choose to focus our minds in one way or another.  We can decide to make it a good or bad thing out of it raining. We can choose to accept another person exactly as they are or wait for them to change into what we would like.  God invites us to acknowledge the personal power we have in our capability to change our internal perception  to dictate our external reality.  She encourages us to leverage our power by taking responsibility for it.  When we understand on a deeper level our ability to shift our perception and bring about our own peace of mind, the possibilities are endless.  It is easy when it something we do not mind shifting, it is harder when we are certain what is happening outside of us cannot be perceived differently.  In those times, I reach for the hand of God and ask, “Show me how you see this.  What might my heart be trying to open the eyes of my mind to see in this external experience?  Seriously!? How can this be anything I can perceive as differently?”

When we get stuck in our automatic modes of behavior and allow ourselves to operate without being present we notice the interferences in our lives. Our initial irritation is sometimes ignited because we are being called to pay attention where we predetermined we would not need to do so.  Our brains require energy when we are present and if we are used to attending to something without thinking about it we do not need as much energy.  Our brains wiring for survival is in complete alignment with out tendency to be bothered by interferences which cause us to be present.  God invites us to step into his lens on the interfering experiences of life as gifts. She wants us to embrace the seemingly bothersome interfering of life as an opportunity to grow in love.  It is contrary to our survival mode but if we trust in God to be in charge of our survival, we can step away from the fear and frustrations which seem to show up when life is interfering with our plans.

Within each one of us is the light of God.  It is the underlying energy which supports the truth of the love we are.  When we are not able to see the light in ourselves or others it is not because it is gone out but simply because our perception is blocking it. I have had many a time when I felt dark and burdened and laughed at the idea of the existence of luminosity in me.  Yet God does not yield to our misperceptions.  The moment I am willing to consider the possibility of the light of love existing with me, God is ready to show me.  Many times when I perceive it outside of myself and allow it in, it opens the door. We are luminous because it is part of our design, not because we have earned it or we are feeling happy.  It is an innate part of who we are and we cannot change what God has created.  Sometimes we need others to remind us of what we are not able to see.  I am grateful for the people in my life over the years who have seen the light in me and reached out.  I hope I have not passed on the opportunity to do the same for others.  When we recognize the luminosity in another and connect with them to let them know we see it, we do a great service in lighting up the world.

One of the key things I learned in recovery early on which has served me well is to focus on the process not the content. It is the path we travel to get to where we want or need to go that matters.  In a world that focuses primarily on the end result this is counter-intuitive.  We are sometimes resistant to the idea that perhaps we are being drawn to work towards a specific goal so we may encounter the obstacles and gifts along the course.  The fun of an obstacle course is not just in accomplishing it but in the different hurdles we have to overcome to get there.  It is in traveling the course we see who we are.  If we only focus on the form of the obstacles or the end goal we miss out on being present to what the course is revealing to us.  I can easily get stuck in this idea.  It happens all the time.  I assume the reason I am drawn to a person, a product, or desire an achievement is the for the end result.  I do not think much about what will happen, nor could I imagine what might happen on the course to reach the end experience.  I chalk the bumps and blurbs up to random events that often seem to get in the way of my goal. God is inviting us to be present on the course of our lives.  To show up to each obstacle or seemingly irrelevant experience because maybe it is the thing or the person we are meant to know or learn from.  Our mind’s fixate on what will be the outcome of achieving the goal when maybe our purpose is not to achieve the goal.  Years ago when I decided that I wanted to be married and have a family I thought it was the only purpose in dating.  I did not presume that I would find myself in my 40s still not having achieved the goal.  As it is by the world’s standards I got started late and if it is the goal is the measure of my life, I have failed.  But along the course of this path I have met and gotten to know many men and grown inexplicably through my various levels of relationships with them.  I got to see how strong of a heart I really have and I am not as fragile as I thought I was.  I had the opportunity to clarify for myself what kind of woman I want to be in a relationship and what I have to offer.  I realize even after all this time my desire to be a mother is still here and I trust if it is what God wants for me.  I will have the opportunity even if it is not in the form I originally imagined.  In my early 30s after being in recovery for a few years having mended my relationship with myself and embarked on the course of dating, I never thought it would still be the course I am on today. Yet I would not trade one obstacle or gift that has met me on this course so far.  It has been a wild and wacky ride and I am willing to keep following the course of my heart to learn more about my heart and the hearts of others.

It is easy to measure ourselves by our output.  It can be witnessed and others attest to it. Accomplishments are usually agreed upon constructs which provide a value level to the world around us. In a world driven by success what one has accomplished is the only thing that matters. If we cannot list it on our resumes or have things to show for them, did we really accomplish anything?  If that is the last word then what do we call all the things we cannot measure or that are not visible?  Why is it when we acknowledge a kindness extended to another human being it is not considered an accomplishment? It is considered part of the deal. If we do things expected of us we are told we cannot see it as an accomplishment.  What would we be accomplishing?  Being human?  Given the number of people who harm others, maybe kindness should be considered an accomplishment.  What about the insights we have about our own growth?  If we manage to react differently towards someone with whom we have a repeated ineffective pattern of reaction, isn’t that accomplishing something?  At what point does how we see ourselves not in comparison to others but in comparison to ourselves become enough of a reason for accepting accomplishments as real?  What if God’s definition of accomplishments is different from the world’s?  What if being versus doing became a sign of accomplishing something?  God invites us to look not just at what the world is ready to tell us are accomplishments but what our hearts are telling us.  We have an internal guidance system that works effectively when we listen to it.  Listening requires a level of quiet and slowing down which can be hard in a world moving very fast very loudly.  Perhaps getting quiet and slowing down to check in with one’s heart could be considered an accomplishment . . . perhaps.

When we look at the composite picture of who we are as whole human beings we find we are made up of many characteristics.  They are what makes us unique and also what makes us the same.  Taking a closer look at the similarities between individuals we can see the attributes of God.  We are called to focus on the common attributes among us to establish peace.  When we only see the differences we are putting our focus on the separate aspects of who we are.  Putting our attention on our common attributes allows us to step into our hearts where within us all we see the divine design of love.  Getting to know the core of who we are strengthens the light of love in us and grants us the vision with which to see the attributes of God in another.  It is not easy when our minds are focused on the distinctions and categories it likes to place things into. God invites us to pause and go into our hearts and be willing to see as God sees.

Being a life long dancer I learned the importance of stretching.  It was built into every class, seminar, and workshop I ever took or led.  Part of the beauty of the art of dance is in the extension of the body of the dancer.  It calls for flexibility in the limb and strength in the core of the body.  One can do a quick flashy extension and wow people by just extending your body out there.  But the beautiful extensions of dancers bodies of which people marvel, require a deeper strength.  A strength always stemming from the core of the body. Whether in ballet, jazz, modern, tap, or ballroom the center of the body is the root and strength of a dancers extension. Our ability to extend ourselves in life works the same way.  We must be rooted in the core of who we are otherwise the extension cannot hold.  We are stretching our hearts and minds when we engage with others.  To be open to ideas and experiences with which we are not familiar takes courage.  Courage means coming from the core of who we are, our heart.  To be present allow the myriad and mystery unfold we do not want to be falling over.  If our core is not strong then when we extend ourselves we will be pulled and jerked about.  God encourages to build our core, our heart muscle by spending time in stillness.  When we focus our attention on the love God placed within us the extension of that love comes through flawlessly.  We are not extending to receive validation.  We are expressing ourselves as an extension of love itself because it is what God created us to be.

When we call upon God we are answering his invitation to engage in conversation.  We connect with her desire to get to know us in a deeper way and vice versa.  Many of us have been taught that calling upon God is about our interest in engaging God but it is an essential element of the invitation in our hearts.  We are responding to something God placed within us out of tremendous love at our creation. We are not meant to do this alone.  We need each other and we need God.  Sometimes those are one in the same.  The instinct within our hearts to create relationship and connect with other human beings drives us to invite others to engage with us.  There have been some hermits throughout history who saw themselves called to complete isolation for the whole of their lives.  One could argue however that they are responding to the invitation to know God in themselves and their environment. There is nowhere God is not so every breath becomes and invitation to life and the love of God.  If we see with the eyes of our hearts we will find invitations in every experience and moment of our lives.  God is completely taken with us and will present invitations to connect with him wherever she can.

Our minds are fascinated by symbols.  We are drawn to them, we dream in them, and our written language is built with them. Symbols represent everything from a word to a whole philosophy.  We make interpretations and create meaning from symbols. The richness of our symbols leaves legacies by telling the stories our lives long after we have gone and all that are left are our symbols.  It is hard to even fathom a life without symbols.  If everything we experienced was direct and straight forward life would lack a certain level of mystery and imagination.  Our symbols open our minds and hearts to seeing things from a different perspective.  Our mindset and purpose play a powerful role in the meaning we give to these representations.  The degree to which we let symbols speak for themselves can sometimes cause conflict.  Because they represent something else, the part of that something else we think we understand shapes the meaning of the symbol.  Both the confederate flag and the american flag have stars and stripes as their symbols, yet the placing of those symbols on the flags convey different meanings and identities.  We form an opinion of someone who is carrying one flag over the other.  The flags themselves become a symbol of ideas of government and philosophy.  We know when we wave the American flag in parades on the 4th of July it is a symbol of freedom and liberty because we have attached those meanings to the piece of cloth and series of images.  God invites us to look into what other kinds of symbols we have in our lives and the story they speak to others about us.  What kinds of symbols do we wear on our bodies, post on our Facebook pages, or stick on our cars?  What do the symbols hanging in our houses or written on our papers say to ourselves and the world about who we are and what we believe? Do we remember that symbols can only represent us they are not us? How often do we forget the role of symbols and misjudge others based on the ones we see on them and surrounding them?