dailydatewithgod

God bestows.  The grace of love is within each one of us fully and completely at all times.  We just think it is not there because we have stopped connecting to our hearts for the answers.  We look to outside sources for our answers and our definitions.  Showing up for my daily meditation date with God has shown me that it is when I take the time to cultivate the knowing of my heart, I begin to experience true peace of mind.  If I waited until my mind was cleared to be willing to take on the task of showing up for our date each morning, I would still be waiting.  Only by showing up, just as God does for me, and being present to whatever is present in mind and body and allowing God to take my hand to my heart, did the peace of mind emerge.  It is not always easy.  My mind is full of reasons and resistance to being with the entirety of who I am.  My body may be uncomfortable and my mind may be running a bunch of stories that will not quiet down.  It is then that I take God’s hand to my heart and ask to be shown what is hiding underneath all the commotion.  I allow God to confer upon me the gift of the presence of eternal love and acceptance exactly as I am in this moment.

God unites. Life is full of multidimensional experiences.  Some we are more in touch with than others. Being in relationship with God and having our daily meditation dates has opened up my eyes to a myriad of levels of experience I did not know were there.  Early on in my recovery it was about coming out the numbness and dullness of life that I created by my abuse of food and body.  This created a sometimes painful experience of awareness that I did not realize was there in the simplest experiences of life.  I also woke up to the network of activity going on in my mind which seemed to be mindlessly driving me to pain and discomfort.  We all have this and we have heard some people refer to them as the tapes in our head.  The sadly funny part is that they are usually the same tapes played over and over again.  Talk about insanity of doing the same thing over and over again. I learned early on I had to begin to open my mind and then my heart to a new way of experiencing life if I was going to change the tapes in my head.  The reality is that I did not change them, but I took the action to facilitate God being able to change the narrative in my head.  It is what I understand as the journey from the head to the heart.  In my heart was the hope that there was more than I was experiencing as I began to let go of believing everything I thought.  Then my heart had room to connect and create a flow in my life.  First it was my commitment to be present with God and myself in our daily dates.  Then it was looking at what contrary thoughts I could use to affirm the sense of being I was cultivating in our relationship.  From there I continued to take action and found myself behaving (often before the thinking changed) in a new way.  The people around me who had gone down a similar path of destruction and come out the other side guided me step by step.  Each momentary connection where I remembered to look to my heart through a pause and a breath for the final verification of what I was experiencing or needed to do next slowly became a way of living.  I realize now that the disconnect between my mind and my heart is where my true suffering lied because I was cut off from being able to access the truth of who I am.