dailydatewithgod

One of the gems to come out of my daily dates with God is the experience of the steadiness of love’s presence.  I have had my fair share of ups and downs with God over the years but the one thing that always stayed present in my mind and heart was how God remained steady in love’s commitment. No matter what my ideas or experiences were, even in moments when I doubted if God was present, my heart kept beating, my eyes kept opening, and my breath went in and out. I do not know what happens when we die.  I sense it is a transition to another experience but as long as I am alive, I am available to the steadiness of love.  I may dance around it, I may run from it, I may fear it, or I may embrace it.  Love’s power is steady no matter my thoughts or feelings about it.  God has shown me on our daily dates the power of presence even when I am disconnected from it.  I can’t quite explain what I am trying to convey but there is something that compels me to show up to our dates regardless of what I am thinking or feeling.  The commitment of showing up carries me through the times when I am not interested or don’t believe it makes a difference.  Showing up is the steadiness of making room for love to surprise me when I am about to give up hope.  My system echoes the steady capacity for love to take a turn when I am facing what seems like a dead end.

One of the things coming to light in this time of change is the smashing of the illusion of our individuality.  Especially here in the United States where we pride ourselves on our individualism, we are coming to terms with how interconnected we are and how much we need each other. Not just as people but in the different kinds of jobs and businesses that are in operation.  I know many parents who are starting to realize just how valuable the school and teachers are.   I know many people are much more appreciative of all the systems we have set up to grow and transport food and goods to our stores, delivery drivers, and those who operate the electricity and water.  Those are just the ones I can think of offhand who play an integral role in my life. We are all partners in this thing called living.  We are really good at separating things out by categories that our mind does to make sense of things.  We then place value on those different categories and give them monetary value or even time value to those who play a role in those categories.  The players are our partners and we need them more than we ever realized.  This tendency to think we can do all this stuff on our own is quite ridiculous. While I give tremendous value to personal sovereignty, I am acutely aware of how it is supported by the partnership of others having a value in their role.  I cannot be an individual in culture, society, family, organization or role without playing my part and being aware of the kind of contribution I am and can make. God invites us to see how we are acting in partnership with others.  I may not choose to do what the grocery workers or delivery drivers do but being in partnership with them can mean acknowledging and appreciating the value they bring in supporting me in playing the role I am playing in the world. God invites us to acknowledge our partners in this world with intentional acknowledgment of their value.  We could even go so far as to tell them how much we appreciate their partnership.

We are mostly aware of the standard roles we inhabit of mother, daughter, coworker, brother, husband, woman, man, and so on.  We also know the labels we carry sometimes given by others based on our achievements or behavior such as smart, goofy, or slacker. None of these speak to the unique articulation we bring to an experience simply based on our being.  Our lives and our presence often speak much louder than words or labels.  Connecting to what kind of articulation we bring begins by connecting within to the core of who we are.  We may try to plan a particular articulation when going into a situation but ultimately who we are being through it speaks louder than words. Resonating from our depth the message on our hearts clues us into the articulation we are meant to bring to ourselves and the world.  We may not realize the power of our articulation of love because we do not see it.  We can either be a beacon of love through our articulation or a detractor of love. Knowing the truth of our own heart and perhaps what we have covered it up with is the beginning of connecting to what we are articulating with our presence.

When we choose to go inside and connect to the truth of who we are we are confronted first by all the coverage we have built on top of the truth of our being. This often scares us away because we are bombarded by a pulsation of noise that makes us feel uncomfortable.  If we have gotten used to things just happening to us we are unaware of the inner workings.  Not until a part of breaks down do we notice how crucial it is.  We sense the pulsation of our being as what we see on the outside of us. We do not recognize that is our own pulse which is navigating our reaction.  It is why different people have different reactions. God invites us to get to know our internal pulsation.  Taking God up on the invitation means pausing to question what comes up as discomfort and check to see if it is even real.  We are so used to reacting we find ourselves reacting to ourselves instead of responding.  The pulsation that resonates from the truth of who we are is present in the response of the heart.  The heart invites us to find the rhythm of truth in our pulsation which is throughout our being.  Learning to ride the rhythm of our heart’s beating allows us to move fluidly through any internal or external discomfort.  It is not about avoiding discomfort or judging its presence as wrong.  It is about seeing it for the temporary thing that it is.  If we hitch a ride on the pulsation extending from the truth of our hearts we will have the courage to ride the wave through to the next beat.  We are reminded of this in nature and as we navigate through the discomforts of our lives, big or small, we can build the evidence for the power of connecting to the pulsating music which guides our being to respond to whatever presents itself on the outside, even a virus.

One of the tools I learned on my daily prayer and meditation dates with God is developing curiosity about my thoughts.  By observing them come and go through my head, noticing which ones I attach myself to, I get an insight into ideas about my bedrock.  The difficulty comes when I simply accept all thoughts as my foundation.  In other words practicing a blind acceptance of truth simply because I am thinking them. I have learned that I do something similar when it comes to feelings.  I am having a feeling and instead of recognizing it as something I am experiencing I describe it as being me.  I am frustrated, angry, happy, excited, and so on instead of I am feeling frustrated, feeling angry, feeling happy, or feeling excited.  It is a subtle difference but it is one that separates my mind’s ideas from what my bedrock is to what my heart’s ideas about my bedrock.  My mind is full of ideas that I use to lay the foundation of who I believe myself to be.  My heart makes room for all experiences and thoughts to occur without as much attachment to my sense of being.  We take action in our lives based on the bedrock of our belief of ourselves. God invites us to bring our heart’s lens into the equation before acting from a misunderstanding of our bedrock.  God knows the heart is closer to the view God has of us as whole, complete, worthy, and sacred just because we are alive.  Our heart allows for us to be whole no matter what is happening or what we are thinking about ourselves or anything else. This is our bedrock.  Getting stuck in our thinking and feeling as our bedrock shifts the whole truth of who we are into separate pieces always searching and never finding peace. The peace God has placed intrinsically to our design.

It is frustrating on one level that it is through trials and tribulations that we learn so much about ourselves and who we truly are.  I wish it was a smoother transition and I can’t even begin to explain why difficulty seems to be the launchpad to get to know the truth of ourselves.  It is part of the surrender process.  When I am brought to my knees on any level I have learned that resistance is futile.  It is in these kinds of cataclysmic moments that I can make one of two choices.  I can surrender from a place of defeat or surrender from a place of trust that God knows more than I do.  Given the evidence from my daily relationship with God, I can hold on to the hope that will be the thing needed to launch me into a deeper knowing of love.  That while it is unknown and I cannot steer the trajectory of the process, I can place my hand on my heart now and be grounded in God, in love, in truth, and in light. Our hearts encompass the power and the courage to stand at the launch pad and keep us grounded as we grow.  We do not know the power of our capacity and potential for growth in love until we find ourselves on our knees looking at things from a different angle.

It a time when all our energy seems focused outward, we need a way to continue to regenerate before we lose all our energetic fuel.  We seem to grasp this when it comes to our physical experience but do not have the same application in an emotional, mental or spiritual context.  Perhaps because it is easier to recognize when it is happening physically.  Yet we have all had experiences where we notice that we are easier to anger, frustration or irritation.  Is it possible this is because we have let our emotional fuel run low?  Is it possible that our spiritual perspective is bleak and we are seeing everyone as other and separate from us?  Thankfully God provided us with easy access to the fuel that regenerates our whole selves.  Again, we recognize the power of our hearts when it comes to operating physically, but our heart is more than a fuel pump for the body.  Using our breath to connect to the energetic fuel within our hearts gives us access to compassion and clarity to start.  The simple act of taking a breath, a deep breath, to open our heart’s energetic field can jump-start our brain and reopen our eyes.  Think of how refreshing a really good yawn can be. More deep breaths can open us to access the fuel of compassion and refresh our eyes to see how we are connected.  It seems too simple, but the fact that God made it an intertwined operation allowing the fuel we need for our whole selves is a God thing to do.  If it were up to us, we would make our fuel access more complicated.  God invites us to engage the fuel of our hearts to replenish and awaken us to the truth of who we are and who we know we can be especially in the moments we feel depleted by the world.

We often do not know what we need until we receive it.  We think we know exactly how things are supposed to or should be in order for us to be at peace or feel safe.  We get stuck in the form instead of focusing on the need we are trying to meet.  When we lose something we are used to having we also understand what a support it has been to us.  On a fundamental level, we understand this when it comes to people or things but we do not often connect it when it comes to ideas and beliefs which serve as aids for us.  Our sense of self and motivation to action is based on our beliefs.  Those beliefs aid us in living in the world in a way that makes sense to us.  People come to know us by our behaviors and draw conclusions on what aids that behavior. When it comes to others, sometimes we are right and sometimes we are not.  We might believe certain beliefs aid someone’s behavior but until we engage with them and get to know them we do not know.  We individually interpret what aids someone based on what we believe about their behavior.  Connecting to what aids us in our behavior keys us into the lens through which we view the behavior of others.  God encourages us to accept how others choose to behave as their decision based on what is aiding their belief about themselves, not us.  Our minds tell us that our interpretation of what aids them is what is driving their behavior and our heart makes room for making space to get to know their aids before deciding what they are.

Configuring the navigation of our lives is often viewed from the perspective of needing to have all the answers.  What if the best tool for navigation is not knowing?  What if getting to where we are supposed to go is about dealing with whatever speck is right in front of us?  Whether we plan well or not, all we have control over is the speck in front of us. We do not get to see the whole picture or all the tendrils attached to the specks. We are given exactly what we need to focus on and address the speck.  It has been said that we are like a wave on the ocean or a speck of sand on the beach.  We are one part of the whole.  If we are so busy trying to get somewhere that we do not do well with what is right in front of us, what makes us think we have the tools necessary to navigate that bigger thing.  In recovery, there is a catchphrase, “First things first.”  In other words, do what needs to be done first without worrying about what will happen next. Our hearts have the lens to notice the specks in and around us.  Sometimes our minds are racing so fast to get to the next thing, we cannot see what is right in front of us.  Our heart’s energy notices and pulls at our emotions moment to moment to alert us to the speck we may not be seeing. When we slow the breath and make room for the heart to speak to us, we begin to open our eyes to all the beautiful, messy, wacky, fun, icky, frustrating, and seemingly insignificant specks. In this time when we are being asked to slow down and be aware of what is around us, our hearts are readily attuned to the specks we will begin to witness.  Our hearts are daring enough to face and embrace the specks with compassion and curiosity.

Have you ever thought about how your heart sits inside your chest and how it is surrounded by lungs?  Most of us, unless we are doctors or nurses do not spend time contemplating the interplay between the heart and the lungs yet it is integral to our livelihood.  It is fascinating to me the proximity of the heart and lungs as compared to the heart and the brain.  Clearly, all three are needed but why bother to have the heart and lungs in such close proximity?  It is also interesting to me that this virus which is holding us all captive seems to thrive in the lungs.  Perhaps in some metaphysical way, it is calling upon us to lean more on our hearts which are closest in proximity and support our lungs.  With all the uncertainty and fear which is as much of a pandemic as the actual physical health situation, we need the energy of our hearts to keep our minds from going off the deep end.  To fuel our minds we need clean and clear oxygen pumping through our lungs.  All of this energy runs in and out of our hearts.  It might seem more obvious that this is a call to our hearts if the threat was to our hearts directly, but maybe this is a gentle call upon us to use the energy of our hearts as our first defense because of its proximity to our lungs.  Maybe we are being invited to strengthen the focus on our hearts and engage the courage which may have become dormant to impact first what is in closest proximity and then reach out further.