dailydatewithgod

Have you wondered why it is that your mind is always ready with the worst-case scenario?  Does it seem odd that given all the possibilities that exist within a given moment that our heads seem determined to pick the one that will turn out badly?  Given our brain’s propensity for survival, which is a good thing, it makes sense.  If we can prepare for or prevent danger or potential loss of life we get to stay alive.  The distinction is in today’s world the likelihood of being killed by anyone of the options available to us as we move through the day is very minimal.  Another good thing.  When we stop to notice where our thoughts go it can be kind of comical.  Out of all the possibilities, our mind conjures up the worst-case scenario.  For anyone who has lived long enough, it is very apparent that the worst-case rarely if ever happens.  In a 12-step  room, a long time sober man talked about how he figured out that his mind was very creative but seemed to like to create scary movies.  When I heard his statement, I laughed and commented that the problem is I watch them as though they are documentaries. Yikes! So are we just victims of our thinking?  Hardly.  When we take the position of an observer, we let go of the need to believe everything we think and buy into the ideas that it is personal.  We can begin to get out from underneath the doom and gloom predicted ending when we pause and use our breath to awaken our hearts.  On my daily dates with God, it is clear to me that the more I remember to connect with my breath and engage my heart, the more I can observe the parade of thoughts going through my head without buying into them.  With a pause, we can question the reality of such a fear-based occurrence.  We can even pause to say thank you to our brain for taking care of us but let it know we will hold out for a couple of other possibilities before deciding the next course of action.  We have the agency to choose whether or not to go for the ride if we remember to involve our whole selves in the process.  Engaging our hearts tempers the mind and opens us up to the capacity to hold out for some other options.

As we may our way through our day we have the opportunity to take in all kinds of information. We consciously conceive it in the form of ideas and visuals but we are actually picking up on much more information than in those two areas.  They are the most obvious.  As animals, we pick up on scents, sound vibrations, energy movements.  All of these provide data to evaluate.  So much of it happens unconsciously so it is easy to think we can see and hear everything that is happening.  The reality is we would most likely go mad if we were to be aware of all of the elements at the same time.  Adding our internal filter is what determines the relevance to our lives in the moment we are in.  Most likely we have determined the relevance of something before we take it in. Sometimes we push aside a sense of something or a specific piece of information because it is not relevant to us at the moment.  We might take it in peripherally so we can access it later but as far as we are concerned we have chosen to disregard its relevance to our lives.  God invites us to pay attention to the relevance of various information to our whole being.  What might seem not relevant to our mind, may be relevant to our heart.  What looks like something relevant to our eyes, may not be relevant to our spirit.  The ability to distinguish levels of relevance is in the willingness to pause and heighten our awareness.  Again, we would exhaust ourselves if we tried to do so all the time, but we all know moments in our lives when we want to be present for all the relevance we can experience. It at those times, or when I am uncertain of something’s relevance that I reach for the hand of God.  I engage my heart through the power of my breath to bring me to my center.  As I am attempting to reconnect to the truest part of myself I am in the space to receive the answer with an open heart that discerns the relevance of a thing, idea, person, energy, or experience to me.

There are many things we are asked to agree to in our lives.  Some we can say we are aware of and yet so many of the agreements we hold are not ones that we recognized as agreeing to in the moment.  When we formulate ideas and stories based on circumstances we form agreements.  Going forward we match similar feelings or circumstances to those same agreements. The baseline narrative that is running most of our lives is those which were laid down as children.  We did not know what we were agreeing to only that we needed to be in accordance with those in authority.  It meant adopting a way of being and living that did not necessarily resonate with us except in that it ensured our survival.  The good news is we get to grow up.  We get to pause and pay attention to how those agreements are showing up in our lives.  We get to question if the agreements agree with our present circumstances.  We get to find out what those agreements do for us and to us.  We get to decide going forward if they are in accordance with the truest parts of ourselves.  As children, we may have adopted the agreement that we were not enough. Circumstantially this may have been true. Whatever was going on, we were smaller, not able to earn money to buy things, live on our own, or have a certain level of agency in our lives. This might cause us to feel not enough or as though we were not doing enough.  We did not have the wherewithal to push against the authority figures in our lives regardless of the kind of relationship with had with them because to do so would jeopardize our livelihood. We know it is an agreement when we see we have carried it with us into the present day.  The present time when we are bigger, able to earn money and have a sense of personal autonomy and authority over our own lives.  The more accurate question is the agreement we made as a child to ensure our survival is in accordance with who we have been created by God to be.  Is it in accordance with the truth which lies in our hearts?  Is it in accordance with what we have going on in our lives today?  God invites us to be with ourselves in the present moment of our breath and decide if what we are agreeing to is in accordance with what is most true about ourselves and our lives in the present.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple little shift for our whole world to seem upside down. Before we have a chance to recognize what happened we are experiencing a twist in our thinking and perception.  It can be unnerving when this happens especially if we find safety in the illusion of certainty and routine. The funny part is the twists going on all the time all around us that we are completely oblivious to.  Most of them we adjust to it automatically or go about blindly doing what we were going to do anyway.  It is an element of our brain’s instructions for survival that allows us to move through life without completely being thrown by each little twist.  It is when these seemingly arbitrary twists are experienced by us as a twist in our perception that we go on alert. The twist in perception does not allow us to go back to business as usual and we find ourselves perhaps needing to refine our ideas about ourselves and others.  The twists feel like a threat to our identity which feels like death to the ego, but we will not actually die.  It depends on how we approach the twist.  If we meet the twist with just our mind we will most likely continue to struggle with it.  God invites us to step back, pause, breath and engage our hearts in seeing the twists for the opportunity they are.  The truth is just because we are presented with new information and experiences does not necessarily mean we have to shift.  Not everything requires us to twist who we are into something new.  It is about being open to what the twists can teach us about who we are being in the face of change.  At the very least, twists are an opportunity to look at something with the eyes of our hearts instead of just the ones of our minds.  We never know what hidden gems lay in the heart’s perspective on a twist we are witnessing.  Half the battle is getting past all the fear ideas that will crowd our minds if we do not stop to take a breath before deciding anything.  God has taught me to acknowledge the fear, thank it for its protection, and breathe into my heart for the courage to move forward and see the twists for the gifts they are.

There are many options available if we are looking for someone or something to blame.  It is the mystifying element of the universe that we can place responsibility on so many different elements because who is to say what is truly the cause of something.  I learned how to abdicate responsibility and ownership of my life well from my early experiences as an incest survivor.  Anyone who has ever been a child dependent upon another for his or her survival has had this experience in being a victim of circumstance.  I believe it is part of the human growth experience to go through this process. As we step into adulthood and grow the connection to our hearts we can see with a clearer vision where we can take ownership of who we are and our experience.  Yes, there are events we cannot change, as much as we may think changing them is the answer.  There are horrible experiences and circumstances we have had to live through.  For some, it was events that anyone would concede as horrific and for others their individual experience of whatever it was felt horrific.  This is not about a comparison of atrocities or who was really traumatized.  There is no point in that.  We all interpret our experiences the way we do. The key for me has been to note the fact that I survived it.  I know I did because I am still here.  This tells me I can own my survival.  However, I coped with what I perceived as victimizing was the way I was able to take ownership of myself and my own heart. I did it through food and self-hatred.  Not ideal, but they worked well as tools for a long time. When I reached the point of my heart knocking loud enough inside of me about how they had stopped working, I stepped into another level of ownership of myself.  It is at this point when I could hear God’s invitation to ownership of the truth of who I am rooted in who God knows me to be.  Stepping into the ownership of the truth of who I am continues with my daily dates with God.  The more I connect within my own heart, the more I see that no outside circumstance or experience could ever or would ever undo God’s creation of me as a being of love and light. Ownership of my own heart gives me the courage to see myself through the eyes of God. Ownership is what reminds me in times of stress to pause and ask God, “How do you see this?” Ownership of my path thus far enables me to let go of the idea of being a victim and recognize the resilience and capacity to sustain even the smallest knowing of the truth who I am even in the middle of everything that screams the opposite of that.  Ownership of the truth within our hearts is God’s invitation to dance with life.

By all accounts, every one of us walks around with some level of thinking we are not enough.  It either pervades every fiber of our being or it is a nagging feeling.  It comes through in what some call impostor syndrome, it shows up in how we make our decisions, and most strongly in comparison to each other.  There are so many measurements by which we hold ourselves and others accountable.  It is easy to see how on some level we do not suffice.  The distinction God calls on us to make is to become aware of how anything of this world will not suffice on some level because we are more than we think we are.  It may sound woo-woo or nonsense but how is going around living our lives as though we are not enough to live our lives make more sense?  It is as simple as knowing we are sufficient for where we are in the moment. It is not about doing it right or perfect it is acknowledging that what we do suffices.  We have within us the resources of our heart and mind to show up and be present in the life we live moment by moment by the mere fact it is where we are.  If we are supposed to be somewhere else, being someone else, doing something else that supposedly suffices more than what is, we would be there.  The alternative is to never own who we are being in the moment and be a victim of circumstance.  When we start by recognizing that what is housed in the deepest truest part of ourselves suffices for whatever we are facing at the moment, we can hold our heads high and do the next indicated step.

The degree to which we allow ourselves to be touched and moved by something has more to do with where we are than what the person or situation is that is appealing.  There are countless articles, books, videos, and presentations on how to be more appealing to others or how to persuade people.  Those tactics and strategies can work but the so much more depends upon the state of the person or people you are attempting to appeal to. That is why it is sometimes a mystery as to why certain people’s style or way of behaving is appealing to some but not others.  We choose sometimes with our mind but more often with our hearts what we allow to penetrate us.  We decide whether or not someone or something is appealing.  It may seem contradictory to our minds the idea that we have more control when it comes to the persuasiveness of others but we do.  Scientists are discovering more and more each day about how we process information and how it filters through our system.  Yet the energy we have within us will either be attracted to or repelled by outside information and ideas. The more we learn to connect to the deepest part of ourselves the more we will be at peace with what is appealing to us and how we can best appeal to others.  Most notably when we are connected to ourselves, people can sense that and find us appealing.  Conversely, It is for the same reason why we are repelled by people who seem to be putting on a show.  God invites us to a deeper knowing of our appeal to ourselves so we can receive what is in alignment with that one day at a time.

From what I can tell so far there is a distinction between who we think and believe we are and who we actually are.  There is the facade we present to the outside world.  There is the internal experience we have of what it means to be us.  There are the ideas provided by family and culture about who we are supposed to be.  In other words, there is no shortage of opinions about what it means to be us. We tend to define ourselves by our labels which encompass everything from our physical characteristics to our station and role in life. So many of those labels are ensconced in our definition of ourselves because that is what is modeled to us about how to be.  When we take the time to get quiet and spend time with the basic element of what gives us life, our breath, we open up the door to a different lens.  On my daily dates with God, starting with my breath, there is a pause in which there is time to consider the possibility of looking at my ensconced ideas about myself.  God does not hold the same labels I do.  God holds the space for who I am as is present in my heart.  Learning how to connect with the internal awareness beyond our ensconced sense of ourselves is a gift if we choose to see it that way.  When we come face to face with an ensconced idea we are often startled and become defensive.  Whether it is another person or situation which makes it known to us we take it personally as an affront to our being.  God invites us to take the experience of our ensconced self and hold it up to the light of our hearts. With the space of our core, we can see clearly if it is congruent with who we truly are or something we took on due to a circumstance or a label provided by someone else.  God wants us to know ourselves as God knows us. We can start with the ensconced ideas as an opening to meet ourselves with love.

As we become aware of the internal parameters of our being, we open up to how we can be the cause in our lives.  The internal aptitude awakens an apparatus moving us from victim to victor. We like to think we are at the effect of the things happening outside of us.  The truth is nothing outside of us can incite our reaction unless we let it.  We assign meaning.  We create the story.  Life happens.  It does not carry the breadth and depth of influence we give it.  Life is not out to get us, but if our internal interpretation of an inciting experience is about guarding ourselves against predators we will see it that way.  Inciting is about waking up to ourselves and our automatic reactions.  The inciting we experience is the spurring of who we are being in the moment.  If we take the incite as an encouragement to pay attention to our default way of thinking and being it can provide the opportunity we need to engage with the life we want to be in.  Inciting is about moving into action instead of reaction.  It is one of those terms that has been allotted more negativity than it actually embodies.  God invites us to use the incite prompted by the elements of our lives as a chance to get to know ourselves deeper.  It is the incite which can prompt a strong reaction and give us cause to learn what we are holding on to about who we think we are, what the world is, and what it all means.  When we step outside of what our mind is telling us about the meaning of the inciting experience we are having, we can open up our hearts to take a look with curiosity at how the stimulating happenstance tells us something about ourselves.  From there we can determine if it is true or false for us today. Our hearts will be stirred and they can provide the trajectory through which to transform an incite into insight.

Our lives are lived in real-time. As things are happening we are reacting, we are choosing, we are engaging, we are responding, and we are putting into motion our thoughts and feelings. We do not set out to create some sort of perfect picture but it can start that way when we pay close attention to our intentions.  We cannot control all the outer forces that exist but how we respond to our lives can be a portrayal or betrayal of our hearts.  We can choose to stay connected to the truest part of who we are and allow our actions to be a portrayal of this truth or not. We get caught up into fitting into someone else’s picture of what things are supposed to be like and begin to live a poor portrayal of who we are at our core.  We all want to feel like we belong.  We all want to be connected to others.  These are normal desires.  What can develop into a betrayal of ourselves is when we portray our inner knowing. God invites us to take the time to get connected to ourselves so we can be a portrayal of our best selves to ourselves and in the world.  Once we are connected to it we maintain the connection through our breath.  In this space of being a portrayal of our true essence, we can vacillate in and around who others think they want or need us to be. In the same way, when we are connected to our core we can notice when we are wanting someone else to be a portrayal of our story instead of their own.  We get swept up into the drama of it all and lose sight of our own hearts’ sometimes. It happens.  We do not need to make ourselves wrong for it.  Judgment is not a portrayal of anyone’s heart, least of all our own. To get back to the truth of the love we already are regardless of other’s approval and appreciation is to breathe in the space of our heart’s portrayal lived through every part of our being.