dailydatewithgod

Innovation seems to be the biggest buzz word these days. In my professional field as well as business in general.  It is as though if we are not talking about innovation, we need not talk.  I am not sure if it is a western mentality or just the way human beings like to attach to the latest and newest novelty in whatever it is, but we are so quick to jump on the bandwagon.  The brain loves novelty and it wakes us up and we are invited to see all things new when we are focusing on a few things new.  It is revitalizing and rejuvenating to be running with the newest ideas and trends.  Sometimes we do so at the cost of valuing what is currently happening.  The funny thing is that it is in the process of doing what has already been established as standard practice ideas of innovation get stirred up.  I think there is a way to value where we have come from in the process of moving forward.  When I was in my disease of addiction I had many established ways of being.  They worked for me to help me survive until they did not.  It was only when they began to break apart that I noticed how unmanageable my life had become.  If I didn’t have those and only jumped from one thing to the next, it may have taken longer to see my life spiraling out of control.  Over time I have also seen how some of those established patterns and ways of being did not need to be completely replaced but adjusted.  I was raised in the Catholic Christian faith and while my spiritual practice has expanded into other areas, many of the religion’s established practices and understandings of God play a very important role in my life today.  They were fundamental in me having a relationship with God to begin with. There is an expression in recovery which I think honors the established parts of our lives: “We do not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.”  If I had not been there, I would not be here.  The hardest area of my life in which to reconcile this is when I see the effects of being an incest survivor.  There are many ideas and ways of being I established to survive in body and mind that are not effective as a grown woman.  Some of which are still very present for me.  In the process of seeing them and learning to let them go, I must honor them for the safety they provided at the time.  I made the best decisions I could, given what I knew, understood and the circumstances I was in.  I may not need to keep such established ways of being and ideas, but I do not need to make them wrong or label them as pointless.  All our experiences, ideas, and ways of being we have established in our lives serve us in some way for as long as they need to.

God is often described as something beyond our understanding.  I certainly see God as a power greater than me.  I simply cannot be aware of all things at all times.  I am not able to perceive the multiple possibilities present at any moment.  Often when we make a spiritual connection there is a sense that we have gone beyond ourselves.  In connecting with a greater power we are gifted with an awareness we did not have before. At times it can be exhilarating.  I have certainly had meditation experiences or times when I was dancing and I felt lifted beyond my current reality and in the flow of something greater.  It is such a profound experience that we can get caught up in thinking that all now moments are supposed to be enlightening.  One thing that my daily dates with God has taught me is the simplicity of presence in the now.  It is not about reaching some place beyond my current state, it is about genuinely connecting to the space within me that has an awareness of the beyond.  This awareness feeds my perception of the beauty and mystery of life and love even in the midst of the day-to-day human experience.  I don’t know about you, but I am always appreciative of a knowing that there is value in the moment I am in.  God does not know the word waste.  Love is always beyond our understanding but not beyond our being.  Anything over there, going on afterward, or over yonder as is said in the Old English language, is a place in which our being exists as well.  It is how we can experience being yond (beyond)  right now.  God invites us to not spend so much time searching for what is over there, going to happen, or not in this moment so we can open the eyes of our heart to experience the magnificence of being now.

We tend to categorize our actions based on the language of willingness.  Rarely does it center on the reality of capability.  There are many things we are capable of doing but are not willing to do yet when we are asked to explain we say it is because we are not capable of doing it.  Is that the truth?  We sometimes misuse the language of capability by placing it under willingness. This is how we stay trapped in fear.  We make a determination of capability based on what we think we can or cannot do and without checking it out convince ourselves we are not capable.  All that is going on is we are not willing to test it out and see if we are.  To test it out might cause discomfort and who is willing to be uncomfortable?  As someone who has fallen prey to the idea that I need to excel at something the first time I do it or there is not point, I have told myself over the years many times that I am not capable.  It is only when I am pushed by outside circumstances do I often stop and check out my real capabilities. There is the element of not wanting to do something, but wanting is not the same as willing.  We can be willing to see if we are capable but to automatically assume that because we are not willing it means we are not capable is false.  I have learned based on the things that are brought to my attention to deal with that God sees me as much more capable of handling things than I do.  Because of our daily dates I have grown to trust in God’s confidence in my capabilities more than my own.  My mind cannot be the only judge of my capability, my heart and spirit must be involved as well. The willingness to discover my capabilities because my spirit awakens something in my heart has led me down paths I never knew I would or was capable of traveling.  Moving past our mind’s verdict of capability makes room for the unfolding of a life through God’s eyes and opens my heart for growth in love.

My prayer for us is the curiosity to explore past our mind’s belief in our capability which is masked under our willingness to be uncomfortable and see what life has in store for us today.

I learned the concept of giving early on in life.  The family I grew up in lived it.  I used to think we were the wayward home for all kinds of visitors, exchange students, and refugees.  It taught me in action what it meant to be caring and compassionate.  We had what we needed to live well and it was imperative to share it with others.  Rendering a place to stay with welcome arms and hearts was what these people needed more than anything.  I liked getting to know people from different cultures and languages and it made home a lively place to be at times.  I learned that rendering a space to lay one’s head or have a meal is a small way of letting someone know they matter.  Rendering is also impacted by intention.  When we are giving from our hearts without looking for something in return it is given freely.  When we are rendering from a place of obligation or guilt we are looking to be rendered something in return.  Both the same action but with different energy behind it.  When we remember that God renders exactly what we need we are able to give more freely.   If we know who we are in God’s eyes then what gets reflected back to us in the reaction of those receiving what we are rendering is not important.  In my life I have found it to be a gentle dance around learning to render without expectation and at the end of the day, it is the rendering that matters most.

The simplicity of putting one foot in front of the other is astounding. I used to think that if I was going to take any action on something, I would have to know what each step would be.  I was supposed to figure it all out.  I guess it is a form of perfectionism. I have slowly learned that if I am willing to take the first step, to get into action, I will learn how to proceed as I go .  In my experience the proceeding also is provided one step at a time.  It is the gift of learning to be in the present moment. What is revealed there is what indicates the next step in the process.  If I think I already know what to do to proceed, then I am often thinking about it while still doing the thing before it. I see that as being proficient and on it and in most cases we are rewarded for thinking ahead.  I do not know the last time I heard someone say they were acknowledged for being here now.  Yet we do recognize it in others when it is happening.  The performer and the athlete when in the zone are nowhere near the proceeding steps.  They are in it in this moment.  We all can recall a time when we were talking with someone who was really listening.  The kind of listening where they were not thinking of a response as they were listening.  What would it take to trust that the information on how to proceed will come to us when we need it most?  It is simple, but not easy.  God encourages me to be in the moment without focusing on what is needed to proceed on our daily dates.  We have the time to just be and breathe.  What proceeds from the next breath is simply going to show itself once the current breath is finished. If I can learn to trust that one breath will come after the current one, then maybe I can trust the proceeding instructions will be provided when needed too.

We often think of things when it comes to valuables.  But what about ideas or beliefs that we find valuable.  How willing are we to let go of those?  How closely do we cling to those when asked to let them go?  In ways that are often unseen we hold on to valuable beliefs without anyone knowing.  You can see a home that has lots of stuff it considers valuable, but you cannot look in another person’s head to see what they are keeping.  We can look inside ourselves. We know an idea is of value to us if it is still useful.  When we need it, we can easily access it.  Yet there are also valuables in our minds that we do not even know are there.  They are ways of thinking and being that have been passed down. The only reason they still take up space in our minds is because we do not question them.  The only reason we would have to question them is if and when they stop working.  The questions come when carrying them around as the valuable ways of thinking they are lose their value.  On my daily dates with God I have opened myself up to asking God’s help in determining which beliefs and ways of thinking and being are still valuable to me. Which ones bring me closer to the truth of who I am? Which ones serve to bring greater love to me and others?  God, how do I let go when there is a part of me that still finds a particular belief valuable?

There is something about being in the flow of life that allows for more flexibility.  There is a trust that happens which allows us to be open to new ways of seeing and thinking about ourselves and the world. We are grounded in a sense of peace so much so that bending will not cause us to fall over or break apart.  This is what my daily date with god has brought into my life.  When I am connected in my heart to my relationship with God and myself I am able to flex around the happenings of life.  I am able to bend and see things from different angles but bending does not cause me to break or become uprooted.  I can shift the angle of my eyes because my heart is calling me to look from another direction.  I can hear with greater clarity what my friend or coworker is telling me because my mind is bending to perceive them as someone who is love.  When I am in fear and worry I am stiff and not able to fully breathe.  My body nor my mind can bend because it does not know where it is grounded.  It fears that bending will cause me to break.  It is then I know I am not in alignment with the truth of who I am.

Have you ever wondered if you could just walk away from the thought pattern going through your own mind?  Early in recovery  I learned a very helpful phrase: “Thank you for sharing.”  Like anything it can be said with insincerity or become overused, but the idea behind it is acknowledgment.  Given that most addicts deal with some level of shame and are afraid to share what they are thinking and feeling, it is a helpful first step.  Additionally, I learned from those who came before me that sharing was a way to get it out of my head and not let it ruminate further.  I came into recovery suffering from a lot of stinking thinking. Plus the nature of substance addiction is such that when consuming the substance, it is hard to maintain a clear head.  Then you add into it the fact that I am someone who is known to over think things. I would let thoughts go round and round in my mind under the guise that I would be able to figure it out.  Through early experiences, it appeared to me that no one wanted to hear what I actually had to say.  I also learned that I would just need to figure it out on my own.  I know I am not the only one who was walking around with such mental constructs.  The power of being able to share authentically with a simple acknowledgement has helped shape my life moving forward.  It is one of the greatest gifts of being in a 12-step room.  You get up in front of a group of people, you share what is on your mind and when your time is up you sit down.  Sometimes they clap for you and approach you at the end of the meeting to say thank you. I believe one of the most beneficial elements began when I learned to tell myself, “Thanks for sharing.”  The same simple phrase when directed at my own thinking, allowed me to acknowledge what I was thinking and feeling and move forward.  I did not have to hide it or make it wrong.  I could just notice it. I constantly have thoughts and feelings running through my head, they can’t all possibly be as important as I once thought they were.  I can acknowledge them and move on. I do not have to attach myself to them. I found the same experience on my daily date with God.  The power shown to me by God as I showed up for our date full of thinking, good and bad, and God not running, judging, or dismissing is immeasurable.

The simplest expression of life can be experienced on many different levels. Whether something is plain or ordinary is only looking at it from one angle.  The energy it takes to smile may not take much but the impact may be great to the person who sees the smile.  It does not even have to be the person it is directed toward.  God calls us to be the messengers of love and somewhere along the way we got the idea it meant only grand gestures qualified.  The power of a plain pause before reacting may not be a grand gesture of love but if it could keep unkind words from being exchanged and a complex negative chain of events from occurring.  Think of how many times in our day we can engage in plain thoughts, gestures, and actions of love and create multifaceted waves of love. The possibilities are plainly simple.

From the early stages of our lives we learn about value.  Before we learn the specifics, we hear the idea of values in conversation.  We also sense the values people have by watching and learning from them.  As adults we make decisions about what we value and use words to describe them.  We create goals that are in alignment with them and associate ourselves with others who hold the same values.  Yet our language is not enough. We speak volumes about what we value through our actions.  The way we choose to live our lives indicates to us and others what we value.  Anyone can talk a good game but if we are spending our time, attention and energy on things that do not add to the values we hold dear then words mean nothing.  The disconnect I have found in my life is when I adopt a value from someone else (family, friends, society, and so on) but have not fully decided if or how it is of value to me.  I think it is something I should value or that I should value it the way others do.  I may have a different understanding of what it means to value it.  As a recovering food addict I value living a healthy life and am grateful to have been given the chance to do so.  I do my best to stay up to date with what will contribute to it by what I eat and how I move.  However, the value of health does not involve jumping on the latest food trend because a bunch of people say it is good.  If I eat it and it messes with my piece of mind, a greater value, then I will not be partaking in it no matter how compelling the research.  It is not easy to stop and take a close look at our values, especially those we have held them for a long time. It is part of the process of growing up. God calls us to look at our values from the reference of our hearts.  If how I am thinking and behaving causes me to grow in love and open my heart then it is of value.  Since my relationship with God is my highest value I have had to let go of some things over time. It may feel good in the moment to criticize someone who is not in the room and even get some laughs from it, but did I create more love in that moment?  Which is more valuable, getting relief or being in alignment with how God sees me? It is all an imperfect process, at least for me.  Life in relationship with God is a dance.  You step forward, back, turn around, put one foot in front of the other and sometimes you learn to dance without any music.  But when I am dancing my heart is beating and I am alive.