dailydatewithgod

We like to complicate things.  Perhaps it makes us feel important. Complication creates a scenario by which we can feel overwhelmed and powerless.  In some cases, we can avoid taking responsibility because we struggle to connect to our simple part of the complication. When I am willing to step up and own my part in something, the complication tends to leave.  I am attuned to the austerity when I can be with what my role or choice point is. As one mentor put it, there are three parts: yours, others, and God’s.  She then pointed out the only one I could do anything about was mine. The austerity of owning and doing what one can with their part is not sexy or exciting.  The simplicity of my part lacks the bling-bling of complication but that is only if I see austerity in comparison to extravagance. God invites us to be with the power of austerity of our part.  It creates the space for relationships, for learning, and for a heart-opening.

We underestimate our capacity for imagination.  We think of it as the creativity that only certain people have.  We say that we don’t have time to imagine things. The truth is we are constantly imagining, we just believe it so readily when our minds conjure up their concoctions we don’t question them. To us, because we are concocting it, it is real. When we believe something it goes from the realm of imagination to reality. The concoctions of our minds are made up.  How else can we go about believing that we know what someone is thinking and why they are thinking it?  We don’t even really know half the time why we do or say the things we do.  We concoct all kinds of rational explanations but so much of our behavior is automatic and the explanation is nothing more than a rationalization.   God invites us to move from the realm of concoction in our minds and tap into the concoctions of our hearts.  In the space of the truth of who we are is the capacity exists an added layer of a different kind of energy with which to navigate through and around our concoctions by tapping into God’s concoctions.

One of my more recently consistent prayers has been a simple, “Lord, use me.”  I do not spend much time thinking about it after or before I say it, it has become a standard in my conversations with God. One thing I have come to understand after all these daily dates with God is the same degree to which I do not know God, I also do not know how I might be of use in any given situation.  I have my ideas and things I am familiar with or areas of interest, but I can’t count the number of times I have shown up to something thinking it was for one purpose and finding out it was yet another element of learning about myself and the world around me.  I also have discovered times when I thought I was there in a particular capacity only to be called on or found myself in a situation where I could be useful with something else.  There is definitely a surrender in the prayer which can be scary because it leaves so much open and unknown.  There is also an element of excitement and potential growth and awareness of the possibilities of life.  It calls upon me to open myself up to how God sees me which is another one of my constant prayers versus how I see me and the world around me.  I cannot possibly know all the ways God will show up and that includes how God invites me to participate in showing up through me. We are vessels of the unknown.  We are the messengers of love who do our best to show up in the moments of breath we are given and called to be who we are at our core.  This is no easy task, especially when we put our ideas of what it or we are supposed to be.  The simple prayer of usage allows me to experiment with life.  I can’t get it wrong.

Have you ever noticed the way kids and animals find little nooks and crannies to hide in?  We do it as adults too, but it is not as cute and is often labeled as avoidance or isolation and somehow there is something wrong with us because we want to be alone or carve out some sacred space. It is a courageous act to show up in the world and be present.  To balance that we need a nook to come back to ourselves in.  We can create them with physical space but we always have it within our own hearts. If we learn to honor the sacred energetic space around our hearts as a valued nook we can connect within a crowd of people.  We hear about pausing and taking a breath, but have you ever as you are doing that placed your hand on your heart as well?  It is a simple and powerful gesture to connect to us to the nook of the truth of who we are. People do it instinctively without recognizing it as though the nook is the internal force that draws them to place their hand on their hearts at times of emotional connection or prayer and in some cultures, it is used when they greet each other with reverence.  The nook is the space within our hearts which knows undoubtedly the sacredness of our true self and is not harmed or battered by the world.  In the nook of our very being exists the ever-present recognition of our sacred truth of being.

We place great value on our thoughts and ideas.  They are creative and numerous.  We never seem to run out of them.  We pride ourselves on the accumulation of them and get accolades for spending years learning about them and memorizing them in the form of degrees and authority. Our mind is a marvelous and essential element of what makes us who we are and rightly deserves the attention and power it is given. The fact that we hold it in the upper echelon of importance makes total sense.  The degree to which we place it in an echelon above all else also makes sense.  Yet the capacity to use our mind is not unique among us.  All living things have a form of intelligence.  It may not be in words or easily understood by us but it does exist.  To what degree do we place our thinking capacity in an echelon above all other living things? How about how much higher the echelon of our intellect over our emotions and instincts?  With our inclination to place the intellect echelons above all the other elements of what makes us human, it makes sense that we do not place as much value on what is happening in our hearts or with our spirit.  We place a priority on being able to explain it all.  If our intellect cannot grasp what is happening in our hearts or with our spirit we see it as less valid.  What if our sense of wholeness cannot be explained in thoughts and ideas alone?  What if the echelon we have placed intellect upon is out of fear of the unknown?  What if the very factor we need to embrace our hearts and spirits stems from our willingness to be in the unknown?  If out of fear we place our intellect as the highest echelon of our existence, doesn’t that mean fear is actually an echelon above our intellect? On my daily dates with God, I am encouraged to step away from the echelon of fear and spend time in the unknown.  I get to play in the space of putting my heart and spirit in an echelon above my mind.  Most of what I can say I have learned by practicing this daily is how much of an illusion any echelon of what makes me who I am are smoke and mirrors.  Wholeness is about the interplay of all of who we are one moment at a time.

The more awareness we have of our internal world the more we can decisively engage with the external world.  In any given moment the amount of things vying for our attention is tremendous.  Everyone and everything says that we need to be concerned with it or them. In some ways, life is like a game of Whack-A-Mole.  At least it seems like it to me and perhaps it is slanted by the fact that I work in technology. My workday is filled with flashing lights and dinging noises claiming to be of concern to me.  Add to it the attention grabs from my own personal phone and its a never-ending circus.  I am most grateful for the technological advances and the ways to stay connected to everyone and everything. The challenge it presents is not actually technologically based. The challenge stems from how to determine my level of energy or concern for whatever is vying for my attention.  Most technology is geared to grab you, but just because it is concerned that I am alerted promptly does not mean I need to concern myself with it promptly.  Some things can just wait.  It may seem silly but some of the most peaceful moments of my day are when I hear my phone ping or make another noise and before I reach for it, I pause.  In the moment of pause I check-in by taking a breath connecting me to my heart, and ask: God, does this concern me right now?  Is this something you see as a concern for me enough to take me away from where I am in body and being right now?.  Then I breathe out and either grab the device or continue what I am doing.  It is surprisingly empowering to involve my heart and God in determining my concerns for the moment.  Perhaps it is the power of not doing what my mind says must be done right now. I do this so imperfectly, but I enjoy the freedom when I do remember to check with something aside from my mind, connected to my heart about what I need to concern myself with right now.

Only a small part of what we concern ourselves with is even in our awareness.  Most of us are guided through our day in conversation with ourselves. It happens so automatically we do not even realize it is happening.  It is typically the source of our surprise and confusion regarding other people.  When people act or situations occur in a way that does not match with the confabulating going on in our heads we are surprised.  The funny thing is how is anyone outside our confabulating mind going to know what we are preparing ourselves to experience?  One of the first steps in mindfulness is to notice how much confabulating is actually happening without our being aware of it.  Sometimes we do not know until it comes face to face with reality or we hear ourselves say something out loud. The simple awareness of the confabulating then opens up the doors to not attaching so much importance to it.  Only when we are aware of the confabulating can we evaluate it’s worth. The confabulating is not in and of itself a good or bad thing.  It is a human thing.  Once we recognize its constant presence we can notice when our surprise or disappointment by things actually happening outside our confabulating mind is of our own making.  God invites us to see our confabulating internal processes as one element in who we are.  We can balance the importance of the output of the confabulating by connecting it to our hearts to get clarity on its purpose.  Perhaps the reason for the confabulating on a person or situation is showing me where I am concerned.  Perhaps it is something to act on.  Perhaps it is just keeping busy. The idea of noticing the confabulating is not to drive us crazy but to increase our personal agency and power.  We no more want to spend our lives being tossed around by outside people and circumstances than our confabulating about the outside people or circumstances.

When we are connected to our core, we are less likely to be thrown or pulled off course. The key is knowing how to create a state of equilibrium that will guide us back to our core. It is not a question of veering away from the core of who we are, that is a given.  It is part of the dance of life to go back and forth and turn around.  But if we have do not know how to have balance on our feet, dancing will be difficult. An equilibrium serves as a way to guide us in reconnecting when we get disconnected from ourselves.  Equilibrium is what keeps our minds from buying into the story that we will never find our way back to our core.  Equilibrium is what God invites us to explore when we are looking for a stepping stone back toward the path.  Each person’s equilibrium is different. It is the balm needed to heal the rift of our circumstances and stories which feed the disconnected sense of self. God knows we are never disconnected from our core, but an equilibrium is a way to help us remember. Equilibrium reminds us to ask God, how do you see this?

We like to think that if we know something for certain we will be okay.  It presents an element of safety we believe we need to function well.  What gets us stuck is when we seek certainty in something outside ourselves.  The only certainty is change. The more we hold expectations of precisely how things or people need to be for us to have a sense of certainty the more we set ourselves up for disappointment.  Connecting to the truth of who we are is an unchanging factor that gives us the strongest sense of certainty.  It reminds us that no matter what happens, even if we change and grow in the process we will always be able to pause and connect within.  In the space of our core, we can take whatever uncertain reality is taking place outside ourselves and determine who we are in the midst of it.  It is not faulty of us to think an outside level of certainty will make us okay, it is simply what the world tells us is true.  What we do not realize until we are faced with all the uncertainty that exists, is the world tells us that because it is trying to convince itself of the same thing.  God invites us to connect to the ever-flowing life force within us which guides us on this river of life through whatever uncertainty to the place of certain love always abiding in our hearts.

It is easy to get caught up in doing or being a certain way without any connection to its origins. So much of our behavior and thinking is symptomatic of our upbringing, our environment, and our current surroundings.  You add in the fact that so much of what we actually do is part of a default mode we do not consciously choose and is it any wonder that we end up in life we are often confused by or feel disconnected?  The beauty in all of this is the moment we recognize our disconnected from our hub.  At first realization, it may seem devastating or defeating, but there cannot be a breakthrough without a breakdown.  We look around the world and we see it happening on a global level. So many of the structures and ideas we have relied upon and not questioned are falling apart.  People are beginning to question the status quo.  It can be scary.  It can incite the need to go within and create more control in our own lives.  Our inclination to go within is leading us to freedom but only if we use the propulsion to go within as an opportunity to explore the hub of the truth of who we are in our hearts and not just to hunker down in the dark. What happens outside of ourselves presents an invitation to get to know our insides.  We can make it about the outside, but nothing changes.  It is not until we explore the hub of who we are and get to know it with all its quirks and fascinating and sometimes ugly twists and turns can we know how to handle the outside.  Tending to our hub and reconnecting with the truth of who we are changes the lens through which we see the outside world.  It wasn’t until I faced the hidden and feared parts of myself that I was able to get past it to reach the hub of truth residing in my heart.  Even after concerted effort for 17 plus years of reconnection something outside of me can wake me up to how I have managed to get disconnected again. God has taught me on our daily dates to pause, breathe, and just notice what is happening.  I do not need to apply a filter of judgment, God isn’t.  Instead, I get to acknowledge what happened, notice how it draws me closer to the hub which contains a previously unknown understanding about the nature of love in me, and look again with new eyes as I make any necessary reparations.