dailydatewithgod

There is a lot of talk these days about being awakened or as some say, being woke.  Essential to the practice of mindfulness is presence.  The present moment is the only one we can tell in any kind of concrete fashion that is actually happening.  Of course, I could write about the discussion of the various arguments about how time is actually past, present, and future all at once or at least not linear the way we perceive it to be, but that is for another time, lol! I have found value in being present in my life as it is happening and I find that the moments I am not I do miss out.  Physical presence is the most obvious but we all know how easy it is to be physically present but somewhere else in our minds.  It is this mind and heart presence from which we derive our sense value from presence.  We are often not aware of our physical presence and spend most of our time in our heads. Our awareness of physical presence comes more from others than ourselves.  In fact when we experience absence the most notable way is physical absence.  In most circles, it is heralded as the most valuable.  Yet how many of us have spent time physically around someone who was not there mentally or emotionally?  We are slow to recognize how we actually bring much more presence to an experience than just our physical body.  Energetically we show up as well.  It is the subtle energy shift that happens and we are slow to label which alters the physical experience. When the energy shifts because of absence we say the mood changes.  Someone goes from being enthusiastic and supportive to disappointed and withdrawn and we have a different experience around them.  We do the same thing with ourselves and others. Absence is just as powerful of a force as presence because it changes the dynamic of presence.  As I work through letting go of old ideas and stories about who I or other people are, there is an absence of those elements which allow me to be more present with them and myself.  If I have an interaction with someone who is preoccupied and absent in mind or heart, I experience their physical presence as less than fully present as compared to another time when they were not preoccupied.  In other words, sometimes what is needed is not more presence but more absence.  Sometimes, we need to resolve what is in our hearts and leave it out when we encounter a situation or person so we can be present to who they are and what is actually happening. If we want to learn more about ourselves, we can notice what is absent within us when we interact with one person versus another. It can provide a clue as to what presence we are bringing to our experience with some and not others.

If we want to get a sense of what moves us from one moment to the next it is helpful to pay attention to our inclinations.  We naturally gravitate towards our penchants. In some cases, we identify our penchants as ourselves when we give ourselves labels attached to our identity.  We go from having a penchant for surfing to being a surfer. God invites us to notice our penchants as a way of noticing who we are being and the underpinnings of what drives our hearts.  It is not likely to have a penchant for something you hate. It actually stands in contradiction to the very definition of the word.  It is not unusual to have a penchant for something familiar but no longer actually connects to who we are at our core.  We adopt it as a way of being and moving through the world without a sense of how it grows our hearts and enables us to grow in life. We may develop a penchant for something as a child and be praised for it.  What starts out as a general inclination or interest then becomes our identity when all it was meant to be is something to get us moving in a particular direction.  When we choose to notice our penchants and observe them from our heart space we can determine if they move us from a place of familiarity, resonate with the core of who we are, or perhaps both.

Often when I hear people say they cannot meditate it is because when they manage to get themselves still their mind does not stop chattering.  Somewhere there is this concept floating out there that meditation is about clearing one’s mind.  There are many forms and traditions of meditation and maybe there are some that state the purpose is to clear your mind but that is not what I am familiar with. I have certainly had moments of clarity and being lifted out of or above my experience through meditation but I do not seek that out as a goal.  God has taught me on our dates to pay attention to the chatter and not get sucked into it.  The distinction is during meditation one develops the practice of watching the chatter as separate from the person experiencing it. The funny part is when we stop to notice the chatter, we realize it is happening all the time as a running soundtrack in our minds.  It is only when we slow down and pause that we can see it.  It is not useless but often it is repetitive.  The chatter indicates our mind’s ability to do what it does, think things.  Meditation is the practice of pausing to look at a piece of the chatter and decide if it is worth putting more energy into.  Noticing the chatter allows us to make it work for us instead of against us.  Telling ourselves there is something wrong with us because the chatter is happening when we stop to meditate is like telling our skin it is wrong for covering our bones.

On some level, we are warehouses full of information.  We are exposed to and consume a tremendous amount of info on a given day.  Some of it we are aware of as it comes in cognizant forms.  Other forms of information are just absorbed energetically.  When we attempt to learn something we intentionally set out to fully digest the information we find.  Sometimes, however, we have a potential interest but are not sure how much we want to devote to learning about it.  Those are the times we dip our toe in the water just to get a sense of the temperature.  One of the magical elements of living with awareness is the degree to which our heart acquaints us with a deep experience of our being.  Sometimes it comes like a flood of overwhelming energy and information but most of the time it is like the still small quiet voice of our soul using the heart to peak our interest.  We can respond by acquainting ourselves with how it shifts our experience and ideas about an experience when we breathe and let it in.  Our hearts choose to acquaint us with the inner workings of our spirit and call us to awaken to the truth of who we are.  In the space of connection by being acquainted with our hearts we can notice how our view of life begins to shift.  Using the opportunity of invitation, we can dip our toes into learning how the awakening of our heart shows us who we are who is experiencing whatever it is.  We get a sense of a deeper awareness when we open and explore what it means to be acquainted with our heart’s energetic space without needing external prompting. If we are not open or ready to initiate it ourselves, we can continue to accept the invitations to acquaint that come from outside of us.  The heart does not pressure us into awareness, it comes as an invitation to acquaint with no strings attached.  Just like we go through life often unaware of its physical functioning from moment to moment, we can do the same with the energetic awareness of our hearts.  The core of who we are will always be there whether we are interested in getting to know it or not.

I have often heard people talk about how puzzled they are about how as human beings we have this propensity to not sustain the things that are good for us and to give in too easily to the things that are not good for us.  I have certainly had that experience through my dance with addiction. In general, I believe we have just as much propensity to stay on kilter as we do to go out of kilter. I believe it has more to do with what we pay attention to and what we are committed to.  In the deepest part of our nature as well as our animal nature is a commitment to survival.  What may seem like the things that will cause us to go off-kilter and lose our state of working well may be the very thing that will keep us alive in the moment.  It is not so much about how to avoid getting out of kilter as it is about knowing how to get our kilter back. Reorienting my life through my daily dates with God and the steps in recovery brings me back to kilter.  It is those things that daily feed a sense of freedom and fulfillment which keep me in tune with my heart.  I know if I stay committed to them I am likely to stay on kilter.  If I renege on my commitment to myself by not showing up for those things I am more likely to be thrown off-kilter. A willingness to grow in relationship with our hearts is what brings kilter to our lives. Our hearts embody the core of our true selves.  The reality is there will always be things poised to throw me out of kilter, and if I am not grounded in the truth of who I am, I will fall for them. The time we spend cultivating awareness of our hearts will provide the necessary landing space when we do go off-kilter by providing a pathway back to kilter. God has taught me nothing is lost or pointless.  If I use it to grow in love, anything which causes me to get out of kilter can bring about a return to my heart.

Life is a step by step experience.  Each moment comes with a breath and a movement whether physically or energetically.  What we often tote as dramatic changes are only the time when we do not notice all the incremental changes which led do the dramatic one.  We never know as we take those increments how they will turn up when added up.  We think we want to know but that just stems from the idea that we think it is worth the increments only if we know what they will result in.  The beauty God has shown me is the ability to revel and enjoy each increment as it is occurring. Our daily dates have created the heart musculature for being present with what is.  For all I know I may not be around when the dramatic change occurs.  If I can learn to be present with myself and the fullness of the experience happening with each increment the final result will either not matter or be more profound because I am connected to the increments which led to it.  Our hearts open us up to the beauty of the increments which make up the whole of our lives when our minds want to focus only on the outcomes. Connecting with our breath to open our heart awareness is the key to reveling in the increments any time we want.

Often the hardest thing is the space between thinking and action.  There is a feeling of immobility stemming from fear based on our thinking.  It is an interesting mechanism by which we find ourselves unable to move from the experience of thought to the experience of motion because of our thinking.  Our thinking about a past motion, thinking about potential outcomes and, thinking about others’ thinking are all forms of keeping us from actual movement. The action is the action.  In and of itself it has no perspective.  In other words, we are not so much afraid of the actual action or its outcome qs we are afraid of what we or potentially others will think about it.  Anyone who moves into action will know the experience regardless of what they may or may have not thought about it beforehand.  Nothing short of taking the actual action is the only thing that enables us to know in a real sense what happens.  Actions are the overtures of life.  Living is an active thing.  Living is something in motion. Living is energy that is alive and taking shape as it is happening. If we want to be introduced into our lives we need to take the overtures embodied the actions which comprise them.  We are not judged by our thinking, we are judged by our actions.  Thinking amounts to nothing until it becomes action.  Unfortunately, some of us have spent so much time fearing the power of our own thinking we think ourselves out of action.  In recovery, I learned action is what matters because I will have lots of thoughts and spend lots of time thinking and potentially nothing could come of it.  The overtures allow us to see what we are really made outside of who we think we are.  I can look back at my life thus far and recognize that it is the overtures in my life which tell me more about what I am capable of despite what I think about my capability.

Have you wondered why it is that your mind is always ready with the worst-case scenario?  Does it seem odd that given all the possibilities that exist within a given moment that our heads seem determined to pick the one that will turn out badly?  Given our brain’s propensity for survival, which is a good thing, it makes sense.  If we can prepare for or prevent danger or potential loss of life we get to stay alive.  The distinction is in today’s world the likelihood of being killed by anyone of the options available to us as we move through the day is very minimal.  Another good thing.  When we stop to notice where our thoughts go it can be kind of comical.  Out of all the possibilities, our mind conjures up the worst-case scenario.  For anyone who has lived long enough, it is very apparent that the worst-case rarely if ever happens.  In a 12-step  room, a long time sober man talked about how he figured out that his mind was very creative but seemed to like to create scary movies.  When I heard his statement, I laughed and commented that the problem is I watch them as though they are documentaries. Yikes! So are we just victims of our thinking?  Hardly.  When we take the position of an observer, we let go of the need to believe everything we think and buy into the ideas that it is personal.  We can begin to get out from underneath the doom and gloom predicted ending when we pause and use our breath to awaken our hearts.  On my daily dates with God, it is clear to me that the more I remember to connect with my breath and engage my heart, the more I can observe the parade of thoughts going through my head without buying into them.  With a pause, we can question the reality of such a fear-based occurrence.  We can even pause to say thank you to our brain for taking care of us but let it know we will hold out for a couple of other possibilities before deciding the next course of action.  We have the agency to choose whether or not to go for the ride if we remember to involve our whole selves in the process.  Engaging our hearts tempers the mind and opens us up to the capacity to hold out for some other options.

As we may our way through our day we have the opportunity to take in all kinds of information. We consciously conceive it in the form of ideas and visuals but we are actually picking up on much more information than in those two areas.  They are the most obvious.  As animals, we pick up on scents, sound vibrations, energy movements.  All of these provide data to evaluate.  So much of it happens unconsciously so it is easy to think we can see and hear everything that is happening.  The reality is we would most likely go mad if we were to be aware of all of the elements at the same time.  Adding our internal filter is what determines the relevance to our lives in the moment we are in.  Most likely we have determined the relevance of something before we take it in. Sometimes we push aside a sense of something or a specific piece of information because it is not relevant to us at the moment.  We might take it in peripherally so we can access it later but as far as we are concerned we have chosen to disregard its relevance to our lives.  God invites us to pay attention to the relevance of various information to our whole being.  What might seem not relevant to our mind, may be relevant to our heart.  What looks like something relevant to our eyes, may not be relevant to our spirit.  The ability to distinguish levels of relevance is in the willingness to pause and heighten our awareness.  Again, we would exhaust ourselves if we tried to do so all the time, but we all know moments in our lives when we want to be present for all the relevance we can experience. It at those times, or when I am uncertain of something’s relevance that I reach for the hand of God.  I engage my heart through the power of my breath to bring me to my center.  As I am attempting to reconnect to the truest part of myself I am in the space to receive the answer with an open heart that discerns the relevance of a thing, idea, person, energy, or experience to me.

There are many things we are asked to agree to in our lives.  Some we can say we are aware of and yet so many of the agreements we hold are not ones that we recognized as agreeing to in the moment.  When we formulate ideas and stories based on circumstances we form agreements.  Going forward we match similar feelings or circumstances to those same agreements. The baseline narrative that is running most of our lives is those which were laid down as children.  We did not know what we were agreeing to only that we needed to be in accordance with those in authority.  It meant adopting a way of being and living that did not necessarily resonate with us except in that it ensured our survival.  The good news is we get to grow up.  We get to pause and pay attention to how those agreements are showing up in our lives.  We get to question if the agreements agree with our present circumstances.  We get to find out what those agreements do for us and to us.  We get to decide going forward if they are in accordance with the truest parts of ourselves.  As children, we may have adopted the agreement that we were not enough. Circumstantially this may have been true. Whatever was going on, we were smaller, not able to earn money to buy things, live on our own, or have a certain level of agency in our lives. This might cause us to feel not enough or as though we were not doing enough.  We did not have the wherewithal to push against the authority figures in our lives regardless of the kind of relationship with had with them because to do so would jeopardize our livelihood. We know it is an agreement when we see we have carried it with us into the present day.  The present time when we are bigger, able to earn money and have a sense of personal autonomy and authority over our own lives.  The more accurate question is the agreement we made as a child to ensure our survival is in accordance with who we have been created by God to be.  Is it in accordance with the truth which lies in our hearts?  Is it in accordance with what we have going on in our lives today?  God invites us to be with ourselves in the present moment of our breath and decide if what we are agreeing to is in accordance with what is most true about ourselves and our lives in the present.