dailydatewithgod

Sometimes all it takes is a simple little shift for our whole world to seem upside down. Before we have a chance to recognize what happened we are experiencing a twist in our thinking and perception.  It can be unnerving when this happens especially if we find safety in the illusion of certainty and routine. The funny part is the twists going on all the time all around us that we are completely oblivious to.  Most of them we adjust to it automatically or go about blindly doing what we were going to do anyway.  It is an element of our brain’s instructions for survival that allows us to move through life without completely being thrown by each little twist.  It is when these seemingly arbitrary twists are experienced by us as a twist in our perception that we go on alert. The twist in perception does not allow us to go back to business as usual and we find ourselves perhaps needing to refine our ideas about ourselves and others.  The twists feel like a threat to our identity which feels like death to the ego, but we will not actually die.  It depends on how we approach the twist.  If we meet the twist with just our mind we will most likely continue to struggle with it.  God invites us to step back, pause, breath and engage our hearts in seeing the twists for the opportunity they are.  The truth is just because we are presented with new information and experiences does not necessarily mean we have to shift.  Not everything requires us to twist who we are into something new.  It is about being open to what the twists can teach us about who we are being in the face of change.  At the very least, twists are an opportunity to look at something with the eyes of our hearts instead of just the ones of our minds.  We never know what hidden gems lay in the heart’s perspective on a twist we are witnessing.  Half the battle is getting past all the fear ideas that will crowd our minds if we do not stop to take a breath before deciding anything.  God has taught me to acknowledge the fear, thank it for its protection, and breathe into my heart for the courage to move forward and see the twists for the gifts they are.

There are many options available if we are looking for someone or something to blame.  It is the mystifying element of the universe that we can place responsibility on so many different elements because who is to say what is truly the cause of something.  I learned how to abdicate responsibility and ownership of my life well from my early experiences as an incest survivor.  Anyone who has ever been a child dependent upon another for his or her survival has had this experience in being a victim of circumstance.  I believe it is part of the human growth experience to go through this process. As we step into adulthood and grow the connection to our hearts we can see with a clearer vision where we can take ownership of who we are and our experience.  Yes, there are events we cannot change, as much as we may think changing them is the answer.  There are horrible experiences and circumstances we have had to live through.  For some, it was events that anyone would concede as horrific and for others their individual experience of whatever it was felt horrific.  This is not about a comparison of atrocities or who was really traumatized.  There is no point in that.  We all interpret our experiences the way we do. The key for me has been to note the fact that I survived it.  I know I did because I am still here.  This tells me I can own my survival.  However, I coped with what I perceived as victimizing was the way I was able to take ownership of myself and my own heart. I did it through food and self-hatred.  Not ideal, but they worked well as tools for a long time. When I reached the point of my heart knocking loud enough inside of me about how they had stopped working, I stepped into another level of ownership of myself.  It is at this point when I could hear God’s invitation to ownership of the truth of who I am rooted in who God knows me to be.  Stepping into the ownership of the truth of who I am continues with my daily dates with God.  The more I connect within my own heart, the more I see that no outside circumstance or experience could ever or would ever undo God’s creation of me as a being of love and light. Ownership of my own heart gives me the courage to see myself through the eyes of God. Ownership is what reminds me in times of stress to pause and ask God, “How do you see this?” Ownership of my path thus far enables me to let go of the idea of being a victim and recognize the resilience and capacity to sustain even the smallest knowing of the truth who I am even in the middle of everything that screams the opposite of that.  Ownership of the truth within our hearts is God’s invitation to dance with life.

By all accounts, every one of us walks around with some level of thinking we are not enough.  It either pervades every fiber of our being or it is a nagging feeling.  It comes through in what some call impostor syndrome, it shows up in how we make our decisions, and most strongly in comparison to each other.  There are so many measurements by which we hold ourselves and others accountable.  It is easy to see how on some level we do not suffice.  The distinction God calls on us to make is to become aware of how anything of this world will not suffice on some level because we are more than we think we are.  It may sound woo-woo or nonsense but how is going around living our lives as though we are not enough to live our lives make more sense?  It is as simple as knowing we are sufficient for where we are in the moment. It is not about doing it right or perfect it is acknowledging that what we do suffices.  We have within us the resources of our heart and mind to show up and be present in the life we live moment by moment by the mere fact it is where we are.  If we are supposed to be somewhere else, being someone else, doing something else that supposedly suffices more than what is, we would be there.  The alternative is to never own who we are being in the moment and be a victim of circumstance.  When we start by recognizing that what is housed in the deepest truest part of ourselves suffices for whatever we are facing at the moment, we can hold our heads high and do the next indicated step.

The degree to which we allow ourselves to be touched and moved by something has more to do with where we are than what the person or situation is that is appealing.  There are countless articles, books, videos, and presentations on how to be more appealing to others or how to persuade people.  Those tactics and strategies can work but the so much more depends upon the state of the person or people you are attempting to appeal to. That is why it is sometimes a mystery as to why certain people’s style or way of behaving is appealing to some but not others.  We choose sometimes with our mind but more often with our hearts what we allow to penetrate us.  We decide whether or not someone or something is appealing.  It may seem contradictory to our minds the idea that we have more control when it comes to the persuasiveness of others but we do.  Scientists are discovering more and more each day about how we process information and how it filters through our system.  Yet the energy we have within us will either be attracted to or repelled by outside information and ideas. The more we learn to connect to the deepest part of ourselves the more we will be at peace with what is appealing to us and how we can best appeal to others.  Most notably when we are connected to ourselves, people can sense that and find us appealing.  Conversely, It is for the same reason why we are repelled by people who seem to be putting on a show.  God invites us to a deeper knowing of our appeal to ourselves so we can receive what is in alignment with that one day at a time.

From what I can tell so far there is a distinction between who we think and believe we are and who we actually are.  There is the facade we present to the outside world.  There is the internal experience we have of what it means to be us.  There are the ideas provided by family and culture about who we are supposed to be.  In other words, there is no shortage of opinions about what it means to be us. We tend to define ourselves by our labels which encompass everything from our physical characteristics to our station and role in life. So many of those labels are ensconced in our definition of ourselves because that is what is modeled to us about how to be.  When we take the time to get quiet and spend time with the basic element of what gives us life, our breath, we open up the door to a different lens.  On my daily dates with God, starting with my breath, there is a pause in which there is time to consider the possibility of looking at my ensconced ideas about myself.  God does not hold the same labels I do.  God holds the space for who I am as is present in my heart.  Learning how to connect with the internal awareness beyond our ensconced sense of ourselves is a gift if we choose to see it that way.  When we come face to face with an ensconced idea we are often startled and become defensive.  Whether it is another person or situation which makes it known to us we take it personally as an affront to our being.  God invites us to take the experience of our ensconced self and hold it up to the light of our hearts. With the space of our core, we can see clearly if it is congruent with who we truly are or something we took on due to a circumstance or a label provided by someone else.  God wants us to know ourselves as God knows us. We can start with the ensconced ideas as an opening to meet ourselves with love.

As we become aware of the internal parameters of our being, we open up to how we can be the cause in our lives.  The internal aptitude awakens an apparatus moving us from victim to victor. We like to think we are at the effect of the things happening outside of us.  The truth is nothing outside of us can incite our reaction unless we let it.  We assign meaning.  We create the story.  Life happens.  It does not carry the breadth and depth of influence we give it.  Life is not out to get us, but if our internal interpretation of an inciting experience is about guarding ourselves against predators we will see it that way.  Inciting is about waking up to ourselves and our automatic reactions.  The inciting we experience is the spurring of who we are being in the moment.  If we take the incite as an encouragement to pay attention to our default way of thinking and being it can provide the opportunity we need to engage with the life we want to be in.  Inciting is about moving into action instead of reaction.  It is one of those terms that has been allotted more negativity than it actually embodies.  God invites us to use the incite prompted by the elements of our lives as a chance to get to know ourselves deeper.  It is the incite which can prompt a strong reaction and give us cause to learn what we are holding on to about who we think we are, what the world is, and what it all means.  When we step outside of what our mind is telling us about the meaning of the inciting experience we are having, we can open up our hearts to take a look with curiosity at how the stimulating happenstance tells us something about ourselves.  From there we can determine if it is true or false for us today. Our hearts will be stirred and they can provide the trajectory through which to transform an incite into insight.

Our lives are lived in real-time. As things are happening we are reacting, we are choosing, we are engaging, we are responding, and we are putting into motion our thoughts and feelings. We do not set out to create some sort of perfect picture but it can start that way when we pay close attention to our intentions.  We cannot control all the outer forces that exist but how we respond to our lives can be a portrayal or betrayal of our hearts.  We can choose to stay connected to the truest part of who we are and allow our actions to be a portrayal of this truth or not. We get caught up into fitting into someone else’s picture of what things are supposed to be like and begin to live a poor portrayal of who we are at our core.  We all want to feel like we belong.  We all want to be connected to others.  These are normal desires.  What can develop into a betrayal of ourselves is when we portray our inner knowing. God invites us to take the time to get connected to ourselves so we can be a portrayal of our best selves to ourselves and in the world.  Once we are connected to it we maintain the connection through our breath.  In this space of being a portrayal of our true essence, we can vacillate in and around who others think they want or need us to be. In the same way, when we are connected to our core we can notice when we are wanting someone else to be a portrayal of our story instead of their own.  We get swept up into the drama of it all and lose sight of our own hearts’ sometimes. It happens.  We do not need to make ourselves wrong for it.  Judgment is not a portrayal of anyone’s heart, least of all our own. To get back to the truth of the love we already are regardless of other’s approval and appreciation is to breathe in the space of our heart’s portrayal lived through every part of our being.

There is an elemental reality based on fear which many of us find ourselves operating from whether we intend to or not. It is an instinctual process built within us to save our lives. Fear is not a bad thing.  We need it to survive on all levels.  It is not about getting rid of it, but noticing its role as a sentinel we have in place to keep an eye out and keep us safe.  Sometimes we become so accustomed to the presence of the sentinel we do not realize we do not need it in certain areas anymore.  As we use fear as an opportunity to be in keen awareness and garner some courage to move through something, we find there is no need for a sentinel at the door of our hearts, our minds, or our bodies as we once thought.  When we are exploring anything unfamiliar whether it is physical, emotional, or intellectual territory the mere fact of unfamiliarity will bring up fear.  Fear narrows our focus so we can attend to what may potentially harm us.  When we pause and take a breath after noticing the fear, we realize it is not going to actually end our lives.  With reassessment, we can determine the need for fear to behave as a sentinel.  We learn how to have an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one by walking through the unfamiliarity of speaking up for ourselves.  We take a chance at seeing how much farther we can run or hold the yoga pose than we thought we could by pushing past the voice in our head which is telling us what our body can and can’t handle comfortably. We listen with some discomfort to someone who has a different perspective on an idea about which we are convinced we are right to see if there are any points worth considering.  With each of these actions, we give the sentinel of fear permission to slip away.  The unfamiliar which garnered the fear is no longer present because of our actions.  The actions provide evidence of no longer needing a sentinel of fear in that particular area of our lives.  We can say thank you for your service of standing guard over my heart, body, or mind, your services are no longer needed.

Our template for survival comes with a side effect.  We are constantly on the outlook for what could upset the construct of our survival.  Our brains are wired to keep us alive. This is a good thing.  The downside is we tend to focus easily on the negative because it holds within it the potential to end our existence. It sounds dramatic but life and death are a reality.  In the early years of human existence however, the threats to survival were more striking like the potential to run into animals that would kill us or the scarcity of food in winter.  Today our world is constructed differently.  At least for those of us who live in cultures where industry and technology thrive. Our mind’s inclination to focus on the negative becomes more about perspective, interpretation, and potential death to our identity.  We fall for the construct that familiar is safe and the unfamiliar feels uncomfortable and could be threatening.  Growth comes through discomfort but if we are afraid of the unfamiliar then we are reluctant to grow.  Yet growth and change are inevitable.  This creates a certain calamity of experience.  In this calamitous space, we can develop additional awareness aside from that of our brain that is focusing only on survival.  We can acknowledge the brain wanting to keep us breathing and activate the openness of the heart which engages other sensors by which to measure the experience as an actual or imagined threat.  Pausing to breathe which activates the heart to attention gives us a moment before defaulting to an automatic reaction.  It is a simple way to activate additional possibilities aside from the negative inclinations.  In the moments of pause, we can connect to an opening to another layer of options.  It is not woo woo to activate our hearts in the conversation, it is a step towards wholeness.  It is an activation which involves being present, connected, and agents in our own lives.  We can honor our baseline desire to live by bringing ourselves fully into the experience and engaging with our whole selves.

The value of our lives is not about how often things go as expected or the ways in which life allows us to be the labels we have placed on ourselves. The value of our lives is about the texture of our experiences.  To what degree did we spend our lives aware of the character, the feel, the nature, the balance, and the composition of our day today?  It is easy to go along without the awareness of what comes alive around us and take it for granted. We can become numb to the texture because we rely on our eyes to feed all the information to us and we expect to see the same things.  It is kind of comical that it is the moments when things do not go as we planned or expected which then irritates us are the very time we become acutely aware of the texture of life. The moments in awareness of texture can be used to our advantage.  We can default into irritation and discontent or we can embrace the opportunity to revel in the texture we are experiencing.  I know I can go into frustration and irritation just as quickly as anyone else.  The switch that brings me into an appreciation of texture is by asking God, “How do you see this?”  “Is there something here trying to get my attention about life?” In the questions, I am drawn back to my heart where the texture of life becomes pungent and alive.