dailydatewithgod

It has been said that we ought to notice not the number of breaths something takes but the things that take our breath away.  Literally and figuratively this could be a guiding line into an understanding of reverence in our lives. The solemnity with which we approach particular people, topics, or experiences gives us a window into what we hold sacred.  The level of ceremony that surrounds the solemnity of something clues us into a deeper part of ourselves we may have not been aware of.  There are often expected levels of solemnity because of cultural constraints and sometimes we do not realize we hold them sacred because we are just doing what is expected.  What about the solemn nature with which we regard the life of another person?  At the end of their life, the solemnity goes up.  What was happening during the course of that person’s life?  Do we not hold them in a place of solemnity while they are still breathing?  What if the life we are considering is our own?  How much solemnity do we give to our own lives as a whole or even the different elements of our lives?  We tout our successes and pick out the parts of ourselves to be held in regard for all to see.  Does that mean the shadow elements of ourselves are not as valued?   What if the parts of ourselves we wish to remain unknown to others and to ourselves becomes the sacred beacon through which we can flourish?  How might our lives shift in sacredness for all of life as a whole if we regarded the unknown and hidden parts of our nature with the same solemnity as we hold the acceptable parts?

As a kid, I was a picky eater.  In some ways, I am still one but for different reasons.  As a kid, I knew what I liked and was certain I knew what I would not like.  The point of maturity is the opportunity to open ourselves up to different palates. We develop a sense of identity-based around what we like and don’t like and when we are willing to expose ourselves to different palates we get to broaden our horizon and get to know ourselves in a different way.  The thing about choosing the exposure is it requires risk.  It calls upon us to want to get to know an unknown element about ourselves.  It is not about doing it because other people think we should as it might have been when we’re kids.  It is about our heart’s desire to show us a side of ourselves through a different lens, a new experience, and build our muscles of curiosity.  While I may not have been interested in different foods, I have always been interested in different kinds of people and places.  I am endlessly curious about the cultures and ways of thinking and being.  Beckoning my heart’s call to engage my curiosity on the various palates of life allows me to strengthen the muscle of my heart’s eyes and breathe in new elements of what lights me up.

It’s funny how something we are so familiar with can get to the point where we are not aware of its existence.  We only notice it when it is absent.  We experience this with light all the time. More often you will hear sometime mention how dark it is versus how much light is present.  We take for granted that we can create light in darkness anytime we want.  Aside from electricity, there is the ability to pull up a shade, light a candle, or turn on a flashlight.  It begs the question of where else is the presence of darkness in our lives where we don’t know we can access light?  Where are the spaces where the possibility of light exists but we don’t know where the switch is or we don’t know how to remove whatever is blocking the light getting through?  Walking around the Enchanted Light Forest at Descanso Gardens this holiday season reminded me of how captivated we are by the presence of light especially when we experience it in contrast to darkness.  We notice how light gives life and shape to the darkness.  We are touched in our hearts by how it dances as if playing with the darkness. Light does not fear the darkness. Most of all, light is a sign of hope that despite all effort darkness has not won out.  Bill W wrote, “It is darkest before the dawn.”  Just when we find ourselves in darkness we can’t imagine every ending, the light peaks on the horizon and a new day begins. Our hearts give us the courage to wander into the darkness knowing we just need to reconnect with the light within ourselves to help illuminate that which we are afraid is a permanent state of being. A light that seems hidden to our eyes is accessible through our hearts.

We imagine ourselves to be people who are thinkers and then doers.  Often it is the reverse.  So much of what we do is automatic we do not realize the action has already begun or taken place before we are thinking about it.  You can call them instinctual or a result of years of an evolutionary pattern but much of it is helpful.  If we were to wait to be cognizant of something before taking action we might be dead. In the western world, there is much discussion around connecting to our purpose, meaning, discovering who we are and what we are about especially at this time of year.  If we look at our lives our actions tell us a lot about our lives because they show us what we are actually doing.  Noticing what we have the propensity for provides an insight into how we see ourselves, what we think our role or purpose is, and what our priorities are.  Often we do not know what propensities we have because we are not cognizant of them.  Pausing to notice them is the first step to connecting to what is so about us.  Then we can take a breath and see if there is a connection between our propensities and the knowing in our hearts. When we are open to aligning the two our lives become the living embodiment of who we are at our core.  In recovery, I started to look at my unknown propensities by doing an inventory of my life. Taking a look at my unknown propensities became the key to opening myself up to how my heart, mind, and body were misaligned.  My daily dates with God and traveling the path of the 12 steps provide the continual process by which I can align my propensities with my heart and mind and live powerfully from the truth of who I am at my core.

Living and traveling around Los Angeles no matter how well you know the territory having a GPS system to assist with navigation is helpful.  Aside from the general ability to get assistance with how to get from point A to point B, most systems these days will be able to tell you how long it is likely to take.  In Los Angeles, the length of travel time is more essential to navigation than the actual mileage. I am guessing it is the same in other busy traffic cities but it is funny how one’s concept of navigation changes depending on the purpose.  Unless one has no timelines, a way to navigate from point A to point B is necessary.  Yet, how much of the navigation we follow really get us to where we want to go?  What additional kinds of navigation is often given to us but we balk at it because it doesn’t make sense or we think we need to know the exact ending spot? What if the purpose of the navigation is only meant to get us on the road? What if it is about embarking on the trip of life and taking it one mile at a time?  Most GPS systems will adjust as we take turns and not on the set course.  Our hearts function in this navigational fashion.  When we are bound to get frustrated and upset when things are not going according to plan or fear we have veered too far off track, our hearts are there to take us down a notch and make room for adjustments.  Our hearts are the space where the idea of wherever we are in the course of our travels there is something valuable that can be learned.  The navigation of our hearts reminds us as long as we are still on the trip not all is lost.  It is when we allow the purpose or course of navigation as set in our minds to overrule who we are for the sake of reaching a known destination that we have truly gotten lost. Our hearts are the place within ourselves whispering to reconnect and get peak our curiosity by learning something unknown to us about ourselves in the course of travels.

There is this strange phenomenon by which we only understand things due to an experience of their opposite.  It is not a secret we live a dual experience yet we consistently strive to maintain only one side. We want to be happy all the time, we only want good things to happen, we want to have money and things, and so on.  The things or ideas we perceive as being on the positive side of the spectrum are what we want to maintain.  I am not wondering why more people don’t want to be sad.  I get that.  Why do we fall for the idea that life can and should be only one side of the duality?  I do it too.  I want to maintain the good feelings, I resist the bad ones, and I even go so far as to think I have failed or there is something wrong with me if I am experiencing the downside of duality. What if all it is the variety of life? There were times in my life when I decided to close my heart off because I had was hurt.  What I did not know until much later is that I didn’t just avoid getting hurt.  I avoided being loved and giving love.  The ebb and flow, the change of course, the good and the bad, the right and wrong are all part of this life experience. Each time I find myself resisting reality I know deep down it is pointless.  In recovery and on my daily dates with God I learned how to be with whatever is happening.  I may not like it or understand it.  Within all of us is the courage to feel and be with whatever we are experiencing.  The more I am willing to tap into the courage of my heart and be with what is the more vivid life becomes.  The duality becomes something I no longer need to avoid or try and run from.  I can open up to it on a very simple level when I breathe in and out instead of holding my breath.

The funny thing about all the labels we have for each other from the simple man or woman to black or white is we are so used to them we think they are who we are.  We look to other people with the same label to understand more about ourselves.  When we are asked to describe ourselves we use the same labels.  The labels are only part of the story.  There are known elements of ourselves.  But what about the unknown elements of who we are?  What about the areas of ourselves we have yet to explore?  How much of who you are is contained as a construct in your mind versus a knowing in your heart?  How much of what really makes you you is housed in what you know about yourself versus what is unknown to you about you?  What might we learn about ourselves if we take the time to look at ourselves without our labels?  How might God want to show us who we truly are in the quiet dark spaces we dare not tread?  What if the labels we fear also describe us are not what they seem?  What if what we think we know about ourselves is more about what we want to know versus what we are afraid to know?  What if we could embark on a journey into the unknown through our hearts?  What if God is calling us at every moment with each breath and ignition of our hearts to take a peek at the unknown of ourselves through the lens God has placed in our hearts?  What if?

Taking a moment to recognize what is within all of us but sometimes we are not able to see means adopting an attitude of humility that does not come easily.  It is the dance of life that we go back and forth and all around what it is we truly know and understand about ourselves and our experience.  It is said that this is the only moment we are in and can fully be present to.  The key is being present to it but not being hindered or driven by what we arrive with.  How can we take an attitude of learning when we are valued by what we already know and held in less esteem when we are unknown?  These are the wonderings and questions of a seeker of the heart and light of life. It begins the curious conversation of what to find ourselves into an experience versus having it or knowing it.  Our souls pull on our hearts strings to embody our knowing which goes much below a knowing in our head. It begins with the breath and acknowledging that our unknown is just as valuable as our known.  As we embark on another year of exploring our understandings of the Great I AM, the Creator or whatever names one gives such a presence, I invite us all to stay connected to our breath as a gateway to our hearts.  It is where life begins and ends.

There is a lot of talk these days about being awakened or as some say, being woke.  Essential to the practice of mindfulness is presence.  The present moment is the only one we can tell in any kind of concrete fashion that is actually happening.  Of course, I could write about the discussion of the various arguments about how time is actually past, present, and future all at once or at least not linear the way we perceive it to be, but that is for another time, lol! I have found value in being present in my life as it is happening and I find that the moments I am not I do miss out.  Physical presence is the most obvious but we all know how easy it is to be physically present but somewhere else in our minds.  It is this mind and heart presence from which we derive our sense value from presence.  We are often not aware of our physical presence and spend most of our time in our heads. Our awareness of physical presence comes more from others than ourselves.  In fact when we experience absence the most notable way is physical absence.  In most circles, it is heralded as the most valuable.  Yet how many of us have spent time physically around someone who was not there mentally or emotionally?  We are slow to recognize how we actually bring much more presence to an experience than just our physical body.  Energetically we show up as well.  It is the subtle energy shift that happens and we are slow to label which alters the physical experience. When the energy shifts because of absence we say the mood changes.  Someone goes from being enthusiastic and supportive to disappointed and withdrawn and we have a different experience around them.  We do the same thing with ourselves and others. Absence is just as powerful of a force as presence because it changes the dynamic of presence.  As I work through letting go of old ideas and stories about who I or other people are, there is an absence of those elements which allow me to be more present with them and myself.  If I have an interaction with someone who is preoccupied and absent in mind or heart, I experience their physical presence as less than fully present as compared to another time when they were not preoccupied.  In other words, sometimes what is needed is not more presence but more absence.  Sometimes, we need to resolve what is in our hearts and leave it out when we encounter a situation or person so we can be present to who they are and what is actually happening. If we want to learn more about ourselves, we can notice what is absent within us when we interact with one person versus another. It can provide a clue as to what presence we are bringing to our experience with some and not others.

If we want to get a sense of what moves us from one moment to the next it is helpful to pay attention to our inclinations.  We naturally gravitate towards our penchants. In some cases, we identify our penchants as ourselves when we give ourselves labels attached to our identity.  We go from having a penchant for surfing to being a surfer. God invites us to notice our penchants as a way of noticing who we are being and the underpinnings of what drives our hearts.  It is not likely to have a penchant for something you hate. It actually stands in contradiction to the very definition of the word.  It is not unusual to have a penchant for something familiar but no longer actually connects to who we are at our core.  We adopt it as a way of being and moving through the world without a sense of how it grows our hearts and enables us to grow in life. We may develop a penchant for something as a child and be praised for it.  What starts out as a general inclination or interest then becomes our identity when all it was meant to be is something to get us moving in a particular direction.  When we choose to notice our penchants and observe them from our heart space we can determine if they move us from a place of familiarity, resonate with the core of who we are, or perhaps both.