dailydatewithgod

It is hard to imagine how others really see us, or rather how we appear to them.  Our visage is one we can only witness of ourselves.  Because we do not have the same exact experiences, lenses, and default patterns as another person we are limited.  We can only do our best to convey the visage we feel is the best representation of ourselves.  There are so many aspects of each human being that from moment to moment we may convey a different visage than we intend.  Our best hope is to create a congruent thread that runs through all the parts of ourselves.  Even so, we have no control over how we appear to others.  It is very much based upon the moment the other person is in.  Despite this lack of control we all tend to spend a lot of time trying to carve out a visage we think cannot be seen as anything than our intention.  But others cannot know all our intentions.  Some with whom we are close may engage with us to find out.  Others are genuinely curious, but even we can become blinded by not realizing our actions do not convey our intentions despite our best efforts in a given moment.  The greatest service we can do for one another is to connect with the truth of ourselves in our hearts and let it guide our visage.  At the very least it provides a peace of mind that no matter how another person may or may not interpret our actions, we know the truth from which we are being.  In a loud and noisy world that puts a lot of value on one’s visage, it can feel rebellious and counter cultural to put more importance on the value of our own heart than what the world has to say.  This is why our hearts’ are equipped with the courage needed to live life.  God did not design us to be what others’ want or supposedly need us to be.  God designed us to be the truest version of ourselves.  The great irony is when we all connect with the truth of ourselves and present the visage form the lens of the heart, there is little distinction between who we are all being in the game of life.

In our world today most of us are in a hurry. It has become such a way of life we don’t realize that what may have started out as a practice in one area has seeped into our very perspective of how things are.  If we look at nature, we notice how rarely it seems to be in a hurry.  There is no rush to get to spring when in winter.  The trees aren’t howling to see the sun in winter.  The branches waiting to grow new flowers do not seem sad.  I am not sure where along the way we separated from the ease and confidence of things unfolding as they are meant to  I am not sure any of knows.  There are clearly elements in life where rushing is important.  When life is on the line, when we are in danger rushing is a must.  But most of the time, this is not our reality.  Being in the healthcare field I have come to know the distinction. Yet, I am not a physician or a nurse so I do not have their common default of thinking it only matters if it is life or death either.  The ease calling to us from our hearts is not to just sit by and watch life happen but the ease of vacillating between the times of rush and the time of slowness.  We need both forces present to make life work.  The key is trusting we have the ease within us to accurately determine which of those forces applies to this moment.  Because of the automatic nature of the way our bodies kick into gear when it comes to the rush, we think it is the more important force.  When we slow down we often feel lost or unsure.  We are able to hear the nonsense conversation in our heads and would rather distract ourselves by moving faster.  Ease is the space where we do not have to run from the moment just because it feels uncomfortable.  Ease is trusting in all forces of the universe existing for a purpose. It took me a long time on my daily dates with God to get used to the idea that there was not something I was missing out on and needed to rush to.  I still get tripped up, like this morning when my mind kept diverting my attention to the sound of my phone going off.  When my heart prompted me to bring my attention back to my breath, I saw it would be there for me when our date was done.  The ease coming from the heart’s reminder for us to breathe gives us the knowledge to know which force to engage with this moment.

It is difficult for us to fully grasp how interconnected we really are.  Our minds are trained to notice differences.  We are taught to look for how we are like some and unlike others.  We are told there is the body and the mind.  We are biologically wired to be alerted when something is different.  These are all helpful and useful tools for life.  What is beauty without distinction?  What is curiosity without nuance? What is ingenuity with out determined independence?  It is not that we need to focus less on how things are separate from one another but not focus only on our separateness.  There is also power, beauty, curiosity, and ingenuity in our unity.  Do we balance our inclination to see our distinctions with our heart’s longing to belong to each other?  Do we open ourselves up to how one element of us may be separate we have just as many elements which are similar?  If we all come from the same source of life, clearly there is just as much value in our unity as our separateness.  It takes us out of our mind and into our hearts when we see the similar rhythms of life present in each other.  When we are able to notice the differences and not let them keep us from discovering the similarities we have reached the experience of peace. Do we strive to do this as much within ourselves as with others? The universe is composed of both positive and negative forces.  Energy is both drawn away and drawn to itself.  Being in harmony by balancing our perspective of unity with our ability to notice separateness is our spirit’s call.

We never know when exactly something will be revealed.  We can be alone in the dark with a particular idea about ourselves and through a series of circumstances, it comes into the light.  There are all kinds of things we try to hide about ourselves that we do not really hide.  There are countless ways of being we have that those around us are quite aware of and we are clueless about.  It is a wonder we see anything at all.  One thing I have learned on my daily dates with God is if I want to have any kind of awareness about myself and others, I need to be within.  Spending time in the quiet of my heart with my breath and not needing to be anywhere or with anyone brings more revelation into my life than any book or experience.  We do a lot of looking out there for insights into our lives when everything we have ever needed has been provided by God within ourselves.  The things outside of us whether they be people, ideas, or experiences can only come into contact with the truth of who we are to the extent that we let them.  We get to choose how we experience revelations about our lives.  I have had many ahas from reading about concepts, hearing other’s stories and identifying, and being involved in seemingly random circumstances.  When it comes to personal revelations, it does not click until I have had time to digest my outside experience in the quiet of my own heart.  Each outside aha can become an internal revelation if we allow it to sink beneath the surface of our skin and be with it in our hearts.

There is an expression used in recovery rooms: progress not perfection.  It is a loose translation of what is in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 60 stating: “The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.”  The idea being the purpose of the 12 steps as a spiritual path are meant to help one grow steadily in a spiritual life. In other literature it refers to progress not perfection when it comes to acknowledging and working with the elements of ourselves, sometimes referred to as character defects or defenses which stand in contrast to who we are growing into becoming.  There is a gentleness and forgiving approach in this way of thinking.  As a recovering addict it was a relief to know I was not expected to become different all at once.  I will often look for a reason to find wrong with myself or chide myself for not being further along.  I know I am not the only one who tries to hold myself to unrealistic spiritual ideals as though I can spiritualize my way out of being human.  I used to think it was about finding a way out of falling down and regressing.  I see now God is not interested in me being better than my human self but continually progressing toward’s God’s view of me as not just my human self.  God sees us as these beautiful sacred beings of love created by Love.  God desires for us to see ourselves the same way.  Progress towards this view of ourselves is not some prize to be won. Within the truth of who we are this perspective lies in waiting.  The more time we spend getting acquainted with our own hearts, we will begin to see what God sees.  We will also know where to return when our eyes become clouded.  Knowing we are meant to progress towards the sight of our heart gives us a path to follow.  A path God happily meets us on anytime we invite God.  We have our whole loves to make progress in the path of our heart.  God is not impatient, we are.  God has all of eternity and is happy to hold firm the sacred view of our wholly selves which is not tainted in God’s eyes no matter how much we stumble in our progression towards our truth.

We often want proof before moving forward.  We look for evidence to show us the possibility of something.  We expect to be given the full picture before making a decision.  Most of the time all we have are traces. Elements of proof that do not provide the whole picture.  We have indications which speak to the possibility but not the potentiality.  At some level  we must move forward trusting with whatever traces we have.  A greater question would be are the traces in alignment with our hearts or with our minds.  Perhaps both.  Traces of our heart will lead us further into the space of our own truth.  Following those traces at the very least will allow us to grow in connection to ourselves.  Strengthening our relationship to our own truth sets the stage for numerous possibilities and many potentialities.  Letting the traces of our lives as small as they are guide us to the core of our own design is what we are here to do.  We will not often have the evidence or proof of what we are looking for, but if a traces leads us in the direction of our heart it will set the stage for growth in love which is why we are here.

Why do they say, be careful what you wish for?  It doesn’t make any sense.  The very fact of hoping for something implies you have a desire for something and a belief it will come to fruition.  Is it because we often do not realize what goes along with what we wish?  Is it because we do not really know what our desires are?  It is one of those untested expressions used over time which have lost their origin or meaning.  My guess is at some point in history, someone made a wish and when it came true, it was not what they truly wanted.  Perhaps it was some important person and so henceforth in time the expression is used to prevent it from happening again.  How many other expressions do we have which guard us against a downside? The reality of life is all things have good and bad within them.  All people are both good and bad. There are positive and negative forces at play in the universe.  We need both.  Why do we try to constrict ourselves so as to guard against something we cannot guard against.  Even not having wishes has a down side.  Why not allow our souls to breath and pay attention to our heart’s desires?  Why not wish for something, allow it to come true and then decide what if it is something you want to keep, give away, or grow from?  God invites us to change the expression: Wish for what you want your heart to grow from today.

We look for signs of certainty all the time to indicate we are in the right.  We love being right.  It makes us feel safe.  It makes us feel like we have some semblance of control.  In a world that is very uncertain plus our knee jerk propensity for anxiety this makes sense.  However, how can we be sure we are interpreting the messages we receive correctly?  Is it important to know we are understanding correctly or to just know there are messages being sent to us all the time.  One thing I have learned through my daily date with God is rarely is the message a literal interpretation of what I am called to learn.  While I spent many years running from and denying my feelings, they seem to be the indicators of something within me.  I can learn more about a situation’s potential for growth by paying attention to the feelings arising from a message than the actual form of the message.  Often we have messages or ideas attached to the feelings themselves.  In recovery the way it is expressed is life is about the process, not the content.  A message can come in the form of a situation, a person, a literal message, or even an internal experience.  It is not about becoming victims to our feelings but using them for the indicators they are.  Indicators of  from the messages of our feelings provide something to work with that transcends physical form.

Being an outcome based society we focus on how much we get done.  We get frustrated when something is not yet done.  We give ourselves a hard time when we are working to get something done and it is taking longer than expected.  We base our sense of worth on how much we have completed in our lives.  There is a wholeness to completion we are drawn to.  If something is complete it is not broken.  But how much do we value the process of completion?  How important is it to us to give worth to each of the elements contributing to completion?  How quickly do we gloss over the parts of something until they are put in place for the complete product?  How quickly does something that is complete become the part of something else needing to be completed?  It can become an endless cycle of never reaching wholeness.  Yet our hearts find wholeness along the way.  In the process of completion each of the elements needed to play a role are whole in and of themselves.  Just because this day is not yet complete does not mean this moment is not complete. Our hearts remind us with each breath that our inhale and exhale are the surest sign of our completion in the moment.

The world we live in thrives on having the answer.  The people who are in authority are expected to know what is going to happen.  We give them less credit when they are not clear on what the outcome will be.  Holding them to such a ridiculous standard does nothing to keep each person from walking their own fine line of ambiguity.  The reality is there is a lot of uncertainty about any number of things.  No matter how many algorithms, formulas, patterns we come up with there is always the unexpected factor.  When we fear ambiguity it is called uncertainty.  When we embrace ambiguity it is called surprise.  I wish I could say I am one of those people who can walk through an ambiguous situation always keeping in mind how it may turn out better than I fear it will.  Each time I experience ambiguity, which is daily, I get the chance to practice bringing my heart to a situation.  If who I am in the core of who I am can never be undone, then whatever I face in my life only shows up to show me more of who I am.  I need God’s eyes for this because the one thing I am not ambiguous about is God’s always and ever-ready view of me as whole and complete no matter what I am facing.