dailydatewithgod

There is a freedom to laugh and breathe when we walk in relationship with God.  I used to think if I let go of my old ways of thinking I would be lost. They got me this far, didn’t they?  Life wasn’t so bad, right?  Slowly day by day on my prayer and meditation dates with God I began to open my eyes to  the contrast between a life that is not so bad verses a life of trust in God.  God wants for us to have a full and free life.  One where we can breathe, move, take risks, learn new things and explore the limits beyond what we think we can.  It is the kind of life that can feel like your heart is going to be crushed or broken open just by breathing in the experience of being present.  Recently I have felt a sense of greater openness of my heart as I walk through some of the deeper layers of my incest survival.  Letting go of my thinking and perceptions that I didn’t even know I had requires a vigilance and a willingness to trust.  I have to trust that as God leads me on this path through dark and murky shadows of my heart and mind, I will not get yanked back into my old ways of being and thinking.  It has not been at all what I thought it would be and find myself laughing and crying at the moment my heart opens and I let go.  I let go because I trust with an uncanny certainty that the belief I held about myself based on the experience was never true to begin with.  It was a way of thinking and being I adopted at the time because it was the only way to make sense of the nonsense.  God invites me to trust that one day at a time I can embrace life that is so much more than not so bad if I am willing to trust in God’s vision of me even just a little.