dailydatewithgod

How powerful we become in our lives when we choose to show up.  Our ability to respond, our responsibility, is a fundamental part of our nature given to us by God.  The world and our experiences are laid out before us like an exquisite banquet and choosing to partake is a yes to life.  I used to think I was a victim of circumstances and was afraid to show up because what if I couldn’t handle what was on the table?  What if I get knocked down again like I did before?  What if I don’t actually have the amount of courage needed to walk through whatever experience is showing up with me?  What if? What if? What if?  The fact remained that I did not know.  But it is not my job to know.  It is my role to show up with God at my back and be responsive to what is happening.  Within each moment is a chance to make many different choices.  I can course correct if needed.  The bottom line is I am never facing whatever it is alone.  When I took what little courage laid in my heart and opted to show up anyway, I realized I was able to be present for what I might have feared and also the wonder of what I could not conceive.  By choosing to be non responsive I didn’t realize I had excluded myself from the joy and excitement of life as well as guarded myself from the harshness.  God has never promised me a smooth ride, just a ride.  When we are responsive to life we give ourselves and God the chance to show up in ways we never imagined and enable our hearts to grow a little bigger from the courage growing stronger with each breath.

Early in my recovery journey as I began to incorporate different practices into my life I came up against my life long struggle of fear that I would not get done what needed to get done. Whether it was the tasks for the day or things to be taken care of down the line, I was driven by this fear of not accomplishing what needed to be accomplished.  As I was learning to turn all things in my life over to God, I thought maybe I could turn it over as well.  I was functioning out of fear because I was relying upon only my own resources and focusing on only my plans for things.  It changed with a simple prayer each morning in my letter to God as I began our date.  “God, may I accomplish what you want me to accomplish today . . . grant me the power and the courage to carry it out.” It has allowed me to acknowledge a few things.  First of all, I am not left to my own devices to make sure things get done.  The people I need assistance from show up in my day.  I may find myself nudged from a quiet space within to ask for help even when I am reluctant.  Secondly, I am surrendering my plan (not always easy which is why it is a practice) for what “should” get done to what God has in store for my day.  Not to mention the added benefit of being more present in my life because I am not focused on the next thing that has to get done.  Living from this place I came across people or other resources where I learned how to better manage my time and energy.  I became more mindful of what I commit myself to.  I found my voice which allowed me to say no with kindness.  I was willing to make mistakes because not meeting a deadline or another person’s expectations wasn’t going to undo who I am.  I recognize God sees me as already being someone who lives from a space of accomplishment.  Getting things done is not part of my life because then I can prove I have a right to take up space on this planet.  I am working in relationship with My Creator to live the life in which I can be my best self and what gets done today is what got done today, no more, no less.  My doing is an extension of my being when I operate from a place of accomplishment.