dailydatewithgod

The essence of a spiritual life grows in our willingness to be guided by something other than our own minds.  It is opening our perception to include that which cannot foresee or understand.  It is a staunch contradiction to the rational world that demands an explanation for everything.  God cannot always be explained through human logic.  Yet there are times we get the sense we are being guided in a direction for which there is no map, no bread crumbs left by another person, or it is a seemingly completely different direction than most people go.  God’s guidance is always the space of greatest growth in love.  Perhaps the reason we cannot see the direction of the guidance as the most logical is because it is pulling us from our hearts.  The resistance we experience is not to the guidance itself but the resistance within ourselves because of the lack of connection between our minds and our hearts.  Often the guidance is to bridge the gap within ourselves so we can move more powerfully into the action of love in our lives that is called for in the moment.  The interesting thing I have found when following what I sense is guidance from God or Spirit, or whatever you call it, is my initial resistance to it.  I find myself demanding an explanation of how it is possible to get where I need to go through that route.  I cannot see it and therefore determine it to not be possible.  I imagine God laughs with loving delight at my naiveté sometimes and reminds me gently that just because I do not believe in my mind that it is possible, does not mean my heart does not see the possibility.  Following the guidance of God requires courage and faith.  Courage comes from the heart and faith is lived in action.

There is a lot of language in the world especially in the self-improvement world about making our mark.  The encouragement is to show up to life in a big way and make a difference.  There are definitely some big things happening in the world and big ways we can impact each other, but I think God calls us to smallness of action.  God is calling on us to find the smallest ways to love, to be present, and to give.  Doing it consistently is what creates a big wave of change.  Mother Teresa said , “I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” We take the small movements of love for granted but when the chips are down they are the ones in the forefront of our mind.  I cannot tell you how easily my heart is lifted on a troubled day when someone looks at me and smiles.  Or the impact of a phone call to someone we know just to say hello and we are thinking about them.  Looking at our day at the opportunities to be loving with smallness makes it more doable.  I may not feel particularly kind or loving in a given moment towards someone I don’t know but I can certainly extend my hand to say hello.  I may not know how to be there for a friend who is having a difficult time but I can muster of the small amount of energy needed to say, “I am here if you need anything.”  We never truly now how the smallness of love can make a big impact so why not start with the small. How much more powerful can we get than to look for the smallest of ways to be present and give love?  It is much less overbearing than thinking of how we can make a big impact on the lives of those around us.  We may be thinking a long while and miss out on the small opportunities to take action.

As we walk the path of spirituality through whatever means we use we come across elements of our lives that no longer serve the purpose and direction we are walking. When we invite God into our lives fully we recognize areas that no longer need to be there.  We can serve ourselves by excluding them from our realm of possibilities.  We recognize them for the purpose they served in our development at the time and thank them for their service.  We ask God for the courage to not fall into thinking they are still options and ways of coping with life.  When we make the choice to exclude certain things, we open the doors to include more of love’s ways of being.  When I choose to exclude fear as an option to act from I open the space for courage.  It does not mean it is bad for me to fear or that I cannot listen to its lesson, but excluding it is an option for action means I can see other options.  Options like not doing it on my own, asking God for courage, a willingness to try to make mistakes.  If I included fear as an option from which to act, I would be in familiar territory that has served me well in the past, but I would not grow from it.

We have this slant on life that it is all about happiness.  It seems to be a phenomenon in this country.  There is nothing wrong with it. After all, who wants all their energy focused on unhappiness?  Certainly not me.  The thing that is disconcerting is that we tend to throw away or want to quickly get rid of anything that is not positive.  As if it does not also have some value. If life is about learning and growing in love then noticing the things that are barriers to the growth of love will show up for us.  It can be perceived to be the easy route to push them aside or bury them but they never really go away. So what we end up is a surface layer that everything is great on top of all that which we have ignored.  How strong is that kind of building.  And this is the building in our hearts.  As hard as it may seem paying attention to the unhappy moments of life are often the road to the happiness we are seeking.  God is ready to support us in traveling this path, we are not alone.  God can do this because God does not view barriers to love as a problem but rather an invitation to love deeper.  Our experiences of unhappiness are happiness in disguise if we face them with love.

In a world of cause and effect we can view ourselves as being tossed about by life. We feel as though we are being pulled in many different directions.  We are impacted by the people and experiences with which we interact.  This makes sense we are not islands, we do not operate completely independent of one another.  The distinction that God wants us to make comes in choosing what influences us.  We can be affected and impacted by many things, but we get to choose which influences our being.  What is happening does not need to take away the influence of God or our understanding of ourselves.  We can choose to continue to the let God’s influence and the power of love in our hearts be our guiding force.  We can acknowledge the effect or the impact but not take action based on it.  God wants us to know life is about who we are being not what we are doing.  God always sees us as the love we are and cheers us on as we choose to be influenced by it instead of the whims of the world.  It takes courage to allow the influence of God to remain in the forefront of our  minds and hearts.

I have never been very good with plants.  I even described myself as having a black thumb.  I think it has more to do with not having any particular interest in gardening.  I am very grateful for those who do.  Given that so much of what I eat is plant-based, I would really be out of luck if they did not exist.  I have always admired the way people who garden talk about the process.  They speak of tending a garden like taking special care of the earth and what it provides.  The time and the effort put into making sure the earth has what it needs to bring forth new life that can be shared is marvelous.  I suppose it is much like tending a relationship. Energy, time, concentration, and knowing how the plant responds to sun and water. Making sure to not give it too much or not enough and stunt it growth.  I wonder if God sees herself as tending to us?  It certainly feels that way in the quiet moments of the day.  He checks in on us often, makes water and sun available, and provides nourishing ground from which to grow and become the best version of ourselves so we can be shared with others.  On my daily dates with God I feel as though she has taught me the power of tending to myself to make sure I am able to grow all in an effort to be life which can be shared.  Tending is not always what I want to do and it may not be my first thought.  I often need God’s help to determine if the kind of tending I am thinking of will help me grow or stay stuck in the ground.  It comes much quieter than the rest of the world.  Tending for me include making time to stop and listen for the still small voice that says, “Grow, grow, grow in love”.

I was listening to a discussion on a podcast differentiating between confidence and courage.  The speaker heralded the idea that what we want is courage in life. Confidence comes as a result of the courage that is needed to take action.  I had never made the distinction before but realize it is zeroes in on the very kind of thing that can stop us in our tracks.  If I were to assess before any given situation if I feel confident in my ability to handle it the answer would vary.  Sometimes I feel confident, other times not. Based on that I may not take action if I am expected to feel confident before proceeding. Explain how it is that in those moments when I lacked confidence but had the courage to act, it worked out better than I imagined.  This experience of being able to act despite having confidence takes courage.  It is a leap of faith in myself and the people around me that this is what we are here for.  It is a surrender to the moment and the willingness to do what we are called to do.  Just like sometimes I feel connected to God and in the flow of life and sometimes not so much.  I am not always confident that God has my back but I know I have the courage to act in faith because it has worked for me every time I took the chance.  In the grand scheme of things we remember people’s courage more than their confidence.  The origin of the world courage comes from the Latin word “Cor” which means heart.  It makes sense that our confidence would come from living from our hearts where God has seated the power of love.  It is the space within us that is untouched and unmarred by the experiences and the wounds of life no matter what it feels like.  God, who cannot be undone, would not create the power of love in such a way that it could be broken.  We may think we have broken hearts but God’s love is unbreakable.  I have confidence in the power of love but more importantly I have the courage to act on the truth of it even when I don’t feel confident in its presence within me.

My prayer for us is the willingness to trust in God’s power of love at the core of who we are allowing us to live courageously even if we lack the confidence today.

The one quality about God that I recognized faster than anything else on our daily prayer and meditation dates was the power of God in staying.  Especially when it came to the meditation part.  I thought I could not stay in one spot remotely still even for the two minutes to which I committed.  It made no sense to me.  How does doing nothing for two minutes bring about anything.  My mind was either on getting something out of it or doing it right.  Neither of which happened for a long time.  And actually, I still don’t think I do it right.  But one thing I have learned is to stay.  What I saw in my daily date time was my tendency to want to run.  I didn’t realize all I was doing was running from myself.  I did it primarily by packing on pounds of weight to keep myself at a distance from myself and the feelings in my body and used food, especially sugar to check out from my mind.  I had learned early on as an adaptation to my experience how to cut loose and run even if it was only in my mind.  Here I was on this path of recovery and the very thing I committed to doing was sitting with the madness of my head and the discomfort of my body. I can only credit the power of God within my heart that gave me the courage to practice staying.  I only had to be willing to do it one day at a time.  Two minutes grew to five then to seven and eventually to 15-20 minutes and here I am 15 years later with a life I never imagined.  Even today after so many dates I can sit for our daily date and want to leave.  The difference is I stay anyway.  My heart has taught me the power and the gift I give to myself and the world when I practice staying with me in God’s presence.

There seems to be no end to the list of problems that can arise in any given moment.  I have heard people proclaim we are a problem people.  Many, like me, flip the switch and use the term challenges instead of problems.  I find it takes some of the weight and dread off of it.  Either way, both are in search of solutions.  One of the most beautiful gifts we can open ourselves up to is the simplicity available to us because of our relationship with God.  God knows we face problems and challenges.  God is also ready with solutions.  It is important that we engage God in our challenges so as not to get lost in them.  Why would God design us with faults in our system that would not allow us to be who we are meant to be?  That is the only kind of challenge that I can see as not having a solution.  I have learned from my daily dates that many things I find to be challenging or problems to be facing, God does not see them as such.  God sees them as growth opportunities necessary to expand my heart and discover the truth of who I am.  I am busy focused on why something needs to be fixed and God does not see the flaw.  I once heard it said, stop telling God all your problems and tell your problems about your God.  If God is who I believe God to be then there is nothing that she cannot handle.  Just because I cannot handle it does not mean that he cannot.  If I am really honest, I can get stuck in thinking there is still a challenge or a problem because I am finding a flaw in God’s solutions.  It is not the solution I had in mind.  God is not limited by my capabilities.  God’s solutions are ready to go, the key for me is to let go of what I think the solution should be.  For me it is not just trusting that God has the solutions but also that God’s solutions are the best ones.

The other day at work I was leaving a meeting in which I conducted a presentation.  I very much enjoyed sharing and discussing the information with the group who seemed opened and receptive to the ideas and how they might apply for their lives.  The topic was about perception, the beautiful nature of our brains leading into the power of mindfulness for ourselves as effective human beings and the effect on our relationships with others. I shared openly the impact this way of working in the world has been for me over the last 15 years.  Throughout the presentation I could sense this subtle questioning in the back of my mind if I was the one who should be sharing this information.  I was an impostor syndrome moment. Who was I to be sharing this info?  Do I really practice these ideas all the time?  Was I conducting myself in a fashion matching what I was engaging them in discussing?  What if I wasn’t?  It was not enough to be distracting but I was aware of it.  I did, as usual make clear that these are things that I practice and I do not execute perfectly, but the voice in my head felt that was still not enough.  Thankfully I had the courage to mention to a colleague afterwards who subtlety reminded me of the power of receiving such a criticism, were it to come, as an opportunity to demonstrate the very principles I was sharing about.  The beauty of her subtle confidence in my ability to handle such a situation put me at ease and the nagging voice disappeared.  I recalled with gratitude that there was a time in my life when I would not have shared with someone the negative story spinning in my head and let it tip me into more self-doubt and self-judgment.  I would not have risked letting someone in.  I am grateful for my daily dates with God where I have learned the freedom of being completely honest with the one who created me.  I felt a wink from God when after our conversation as I walked to my car, a butterfly flew by.  The very animal synonymous with transformation just subtly crossed my path as if God was saying, I AM here to remind you of who you are today.  The power of subtleties is in their ability to be the tipping point and the last straw that can send us in one direction or another.  If we are on the path of who we are we will find travelers human and others to remind us of who we are in direct and subtle ways.